Devotion
by tibbslash
Summary: Tony loses the love of his life. Can Gibbs help him put his life back together? Tibbs SLASH Don't like, Don't read.
1. Chapter 1

_**devotion** - A__ strong attachment (to) or affection (for a cause, person, etc.) marked by dedicated loyalty_

**Devotion Chapter One**

Gibbs team was at one of the most gruesome crime scenes they have ever witnessed when Tony DiNozzo got the call.

"DiNozzo!" Tony answered, allowing the camera he was using to document the scene to hang loosely around his neck.

"Hello? What? Joe? Hang on...I can't hear you!" Tony hurried to get outside as his mobile service was weak inside the warehouse. He avoided the coagulated pools of blood that had formed near the bodies littering the abandoned building's floor.

Tony removed the camera from around his neck and handed it to McGee as he passed.

Kate and Tim looked at Tony with concern as he made his way through the carnage.

Tony did not miss the annoyed glare Leroy Jethro Gibbs shot his way.

"Sorry Joe, repeat what you just said?" Tony asked as the connection became clear as he stepped outside.

"I'm sorry to call you with this, Tony, but Spence has been shot."

Cold silence filled the air.

Then Tony heard the words that broke his heart and his world.

"He's dead Tony. I'm so sorry."

Gibbs stepped out of the warehouse ready to rip Tony a new one for taking personal calls at a crime scene, especially one like this. Two marines gutted like cattle, their intestines strewn about the building with four others shot execution style lying in a pile. It appeared to be a drug deal gone horribly wrong. It would take everything his team could do to figure it out. He needed Tony to be on top of his game.

As he approached his SFA he saw Tony's jaw go slack and he lost all color in his face. Tony's cell phone dropped from his hand and broke into pieces as it hit the ground. Gibbs moved quickly to catch Tony as he began to lurch forward.

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs yelled as he caught Tony in time.

Tony turned his face towards Gibbs. The shock and utter pain Gibbs saw in Tony's emerald eyes softened him immediately. He hugged Tony tightly. He could feel Tony's body trembling.

"What's happened Tony?" Gibbs asked, genuine concern in his voice

"Spence is dead, Gibbs!" Tony sobbed

"NO! How?" Gibbs yelled pulling back to look Tony in the eyes.

Gibbs expression now mirrored Tony's shock and pain.

Tony was shaking his head back and forth as he said "I don't know the details. His partner, Joe, called to tell me he had been shot and that he's dead! God Gibbs! What am I going to do?"

Tony started to pull away from Gibbs.

Gibbs could tell Tony was close to losing it so he pulled him in closer.

Tony struggled against his boss trying to break free. The more he fought the harder Gibbs held him.

"Let me go, Jethro!" Tony pleaded

"NO! You need to calm yourself, Tony. Let me help you. I am going to call Director Morrow and ask that Balboa's team take this one. Then you and I will go find Spence okay?"

Tony stopped struggling and looked at Gibbs. He shook his head in agreement.

Gibbs took Tony's head in his hands and staring him straight in the eyes said "Keep it together for me Anthony. I will take care of this, you hear me?! I will be right back. I need to give Kate and McGee instructions. Stay here and wait for me!"

Tony leaned against the warehouse wall watching as Gibbs walked back. He heard him talking with Morrow arranging for the other team. He saw Gibbs snap his phone shut as he disappeared into the warehouse.

Tony had no idea how long it took for Gibbs to get back. It could have been minutes or hours. Tony's mind had traveled to a blank oblivion. He couldn't even begin to process that his lover, his partner, his best friend, Riley Spencer, was gone.

Forever had ended with that one call.

Tony felt the strong hand wrap around his bicep and he moved with the body that led him towards a car. He could feel the seat as he was pushed down into it and he felt the snug tightness of the seatbelt as he was buckled in securely.

He heard an authoritive voice trying to comfort him but he didn't answer. He had no words to bring forward. He tried to convince himself he was dreaming or may be under the influence of drink or drugs. Maybe he had a concussion and when he came to he would find Spence at his bedside comforting him and giving him shit for getting hurt yet again.

A light head slap brought reality back into focus.

Tony turned to his left to see Gibbs looking at him with deep concern.

"You with me, DiNozzo?"

"Yes"

Gibbs heard Tony say softly, as Tony leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes.

"We'll be there soon, Tony. Try to rest."

Tony wanted to cry but he wouldn't break, not yet. He had cried in front of his boss only once before and regretted it ever since.

Besides, his Father's words played over and over in his head.

"DiNozzo men do not cry, Anthony! DiNozzo men do not pass out, Anthony! DiNozzo men never show weakness, Anthony!" Blah, Blah, Blah!

His father was an emotional wasteland. So many rules on what not to do that Tony had no emotional arsenal to drawn on to deal with this kind of loss.

Even when Tony lost his mother at a young age, his Father treated the event like it was just a hurdle to get over and move on.

Tony corralled his emotions and felt his heart begin to harden. He would have to take this road if he had any chance to survive.

Gibbs turned to look at Tony every few minutes. His heart broke for him. Gibbs felt the loss as well. Riley Spencer had been his best friend for years. They had served together as Marines and had both entered law enforcement after the corp. Spence was happy working the streets of D.C. He excelled in the day to day action. He had a wicked sense of humor, loved movies and quoted from them incessantly. He was loyal, trustworthy and dependable. When Gibbs decided to play matchmaker between Spence and Tony he knew they would either hate each other on sight or fall head over heels. It had been the latter.

Gibbs had decided to introduce Tony to Spence two years ago. He had both selfless and selfish reasons. He loved both men and wanted them to be happy. He and Spence had never slept together but they had shared their bisexuality when serving their country. It was before DADT and you kept it all shoved into a very deep closet.

Spence, like Gibbs, was bisexual. Spence had married and had a couple of kids before he finally realized he was more gay then bi. His wife kicked him out of their house and he moved in with Gibbs for a while. Spence bought his own home and maintained a civil relationship with his ex. He tried to keep active in his kid's lives but his job made it difficult. His kids grew up and were off to college in what seemed the blink of an eye.

Gibbs was madly in love with Shannon when they married and Gibbs would still be in a committed monogamous relationship with her, if she had lived. Her murder and that of their precious Kelly put him over the edge. He would seek solace where he could, either men or women. He was a man who was drawn to a one on one relationship and all that involved. It is because of this he married three more times before he finally threw in the towel.

When he met Tony in Baltimore he was instantly smitten with the brash, handsome detective. Gibbs recruited Tony for NCIS because he excelled as an investigator. Tony also reminded him of his best friend, Riley Spencer.

Gibbs had never been attracted to Spence but he was very attracted to Tony. Gibbs had kept his desires for Tony at bay. He was doing a great job of that until he and Tony had way too much to drink after a hard case. They were sitting on the couch, the embers from Gibbs fireplace the only light in the room. Tony made the first move. Gibbs learned that night his womanizing, skirt tracing, braggart SFA was actually bisexual and professed being in love with Gibbs.

They had groped each other and Gibbs found Tony really knew how to kiss. Gibbs was lost in the passion of Tony's hot mouth and soft lips when the realization he was kissing his subordinate kicked in. Tony had had much more to drink then Gibbs. Tony was so vulnerable at that moment; Gibbs was determined not to take advantage of him. If he had been a weaker man, he would have given in to his carnal desires and bent Tony over the couch fucking him into next week.

Gibbs rejection had made Tony very emotional. Tony had actually cried when Gibbs told him it would never work. Gibbs was adamant in his reasons. They worked together, He was Tony's boss and he had rules in place for that very reason.

"FUCK RULE 12, JETHRO!" Tony had yelled at Gibbs. "I know you want me as much as I want you! Don't shut the door on something that could be really fantastic!"

Gibbs would not give in. Tony fought the despair he felt in losing love, yet again. Their working relationship remained intact but it took a while for them to be just friends again.

He and Gibbs agreed to never talk about that night again.

Gibbs grew concerned when Tony started masking his feelings and hiding himself behind a persona Gibbs knew was not anywhere close to the real Anthony DiNozzo. He wanted Tony to have stability and love in his life. He wanted to be the one Tony could count on for that but he just couldn't allow himself that pleasure. Ducky honed into the dynamics of their relationship early on. He chastised Gibbs for not allowing himself the happiness he deserved. He also thought Gibbs was taking Tony for granted when it was apparent how Tony felt about Gibbs. This revelation prompted Gibbs to act.

He had a gut feeling Riley Spencer and Anthony DiNozzo would be perfect for each other.

His gut proved to be right. Spence and Tony had it all for almost two years.

Gibbs looked at Tony. His eyes were still closed but Gibbs noticed a single tear roll down his cheek. He wanted to reach out and wipe it away. He wanted to take Tony into his arms and tell him everything would be okay. He wanted to tell Tony he loved him, that he had always loved him. He wanted to confess that he regretted the day he introduced Spence to him. He did want his friends to be happy and to have love, but Gibbs had finally realized he had lost something he wanted desperately. He wanted Tony DiNozzo all to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Devotion Chapter Two**

Gibbs realized his thoughts at the moment were very inappropriate. He berated himself for even thinking about himself, his feelings and desires for Tony, when he had just found out one friend was dead and the other had just lost the love of his life.

Gibbs understood losing the love of your life. He also knew the horror of losing a child. Tony and Spence had barely had two years together but Gibbs knew they were madly in love. He would do anything in his power to help Tony as he tried to rebuild his life without Spence.

"We're here, Tony." Gibbs said quietly as he pulled in front of D.C. Metro. Tony did not have much information other than Spence was dead, so Gibbs went to the building Spence was stationed.

Gibbs watched as Tony opened his eyes. He could see Tony had steeled his emotions-his eyes were cold and determined. He looked at Gibbs and nodded his head. The two of them opened their doors and got out of the sedan. Tony waited as Gibbs walked around to meet him before they headed inside. Gibbs wanted to put his arm around Tony to comfort him but he didn't. He knew not to touch Tony when he cocooned himself against the hurt and pain.

The Police Sergeant at the duty desk knew both men on sight. He let them pass to enter the main station area. Gibbs could tell the man had wanted to vocalize his condolences to Tony but he held back. Spence and Tony had revealed their relationship to only a handful of Spence's co-workers. Even though Riley Spencer was well liked, received several commendations for bravery and had rose through the ranks of D.C. Metro rather quickly, being a gay man could make you a target within your own department.

When Tony and Gibbs entered the D.C. Metro bullpen, Gibbs saw Spence's partner Joe Alvarez look up from his computer. Joe's eyes were red rimmed and they widened when he saw Tony approaching.

"Oh, God, Tony!" Joe said as he got up and pulled Tony into his arms.

Gibbs saw Tony's body stiffen when Joe hugged him. Tony tried to reciprocate but Gibbs could tell he just couldn't relax into the sympathy Joe conveyed. He knew DiNozzo was struggling to maintain his composure. Joe Alvarez knew it too. He released Tony quickly and said "I am so sorry about the phone call to you. I would have preferred to tell you in person but your dispatcher would only disclose you were out in the field."

Gibbs frowned at this information. There was no reason NCIS dispatch should not give that information to an Officer of D.C. Metro. He made a mental note to check on that. At least if he had been notified, as team supervisor and Tony's boss, he could have told Tony himself to lessen the blow.

Joe guided Tony to a chair next to his desk and waved to Gibbs to sit in the chair opposite Tony.

Tony sat and stared at his hands which he held in his lap. Gibbs exchanged a silent look with Alvarez as the men waited for Tony to speak. Tony rolled his shoulders and looked up directly at Joe.

"What happened to Spence?" he asked his voice lightly breaking

Tony waited for Joe to speak. He was well aware Joe shared in the loss of Spence. All three men knew your work partner, if you were lucky, could be closer than your brother or sister or even your spouse. Tony had never lost a partner on the job. Sure he lost Danny Price in Baltimore but that relationship was ended by Danny's corruption. Tony had felt it would have probably hurt less if Danny had been killed in the line of duty then be a bad cop. That situation had Tony questioning his ability to trust but then Gibbs recruited him and the man restored his faith.

"We had a call for a 211 in progress, code purple."

Joe saw Gibbs raise his eyebrows so he clarified "A 211 is a robbery and code purple is gang activity."

"Anyway, me and Spence were closest to the scene. When we got there two members of the Los Muertos M C were exiting the convenience store. They both had guns. I shot one, killed him. Spence and the other gang member shot it out. Spence got the guy in the shoulder, scumbag is currently at Bethesda."

Gibbs watched Tony closely as Joe got to the part Tony was waiting for.

"Spence took a round in his right armpit, right above the vest. M E says it must have hit a major artery. He bled out pretty quick Tony. We should have confirmation when the autopsy is done."

Tony felt his body grow cold. He felt his mind grow numb as his mouth went dry. He fought the urge to scream. He looked between Gibbs and Joe not knowing what to do. Tony watched as Joe moved towards him and said quietly.

"He wanted me to tell you he loved you Tony. He wanted me to say and I am quoting him "Thanks Tone for the best years of my life. I love you and want you to have a wonderful life. I'll see you on the other side."

"Those were his last words Tony. I hope they bring you some comfort." Joe leaned back, grief evident in his eyes and demeanor.

Tony felt his eyes begin to burn. He fought back the tears he wanted nothing more then to shed saying:

"Can I see him Joe? Is he here?"

"He is here. I can take you down. Let me call the M. E. for you."

While Joe made the call Gibbs placed his hand on Tony's shoulder. Tony's body went rigid so Gibbs pulled his hand away. Tony felt guilty at his reaction. He looked at Gibbs and gave him a small smile.

"Do you want me to go with you Tony?"

"Yes" Tony answered "It will give you a chance to say goodbye."


	3. Chapter 3

**Devotion Chapter Three**

Joe Alvarez introduced Tony and Gibbs to D.C. Metro M.E. Sara Jacobs. Dr. Jacobs shook both men's hands and advised them Riley Spencer was the only body in autopsy at that time. She was about to begin the autopsy when she got the call from Joe, so Spence's body was still clothed and lying on an autopsy table.

Tony asked if he and Gibbs could be alone with Spence. Dr. Jacobs and Joe agreed. They decided to go for coffee leaving the men to their sad task.

Metro's autopsy was much smaller than NCIS. The room was half the size and there were only two tables and about 4 cold storage lockers. It was very cold but both men already knew it would be. Tony was shivering and Gibbs knew it was more than just the temperature.

Tony approached Spence with hesitation. Gibbs held back watching Tony's actions carefully. He knew that Tony had seen a lot of death and was witness to how ugly humanity could really be. The crime scene that morning was the worst but it was one of many they had seen over the years. Tony would use humor to deal with that kind of ugly. This situation was too close to home. Gibbs knew Tony had lost his mother at an early age but had never lost anyone as close to him as Spence had been.

He watched as Tony looked down at Spence and just stared at him. Tony reached out to touch Spence's face but he withdrew his hand without making contact. Tony couldn't yet face that what he was seeing was real. When he finally touched Spence a sob caught in his throat. It was primal and filled with grief.

Tony ran his hand through Spence's hair. Tony leaned down and whispered something and kissed Spence, first on his forehead and then on the lips. Tony picked up Spence's hand and held it close to his chest. As Tony closed his eyes, trapped in his own thoughts, Gibbs thought about the day he had first met Spence and the day he first introduced Tony to Spence.

It was Gibbs first day of boot camp that he met Riley Spencer.

They were in the same unit for training. The men had to introduce themselves and say where they were from. When Gibbs said his full name and town and state he was annoyed to hear Riley Spencer snigger and say "Jethro? You a hillbilly, Jethro? Got a cee-ment pond?"

That comment made the other men roar with laughter.

Gibbs studied Riley Spencer, formulating how to respond. Spence was a good two inches taller than Gibbs. He was a good looking man with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was obviously very athletic and he had a wonderful smile. Gibbs liked him immediately.

Gibbs merely smirked at Riley Spencer. He had heard it before and it didn't faze him. Spence appreciated Gibbs ability to be the butt of the joke and they became fast friends. Gibbs learned that Riley Spencer was from a very old family in Virginia. His mother was a Riley and as his parent's oldest child, he was christened Riley Spencer. He hated the name Riley and only answered to Spence.

Spence learned that Jethro preferred Gibbs.

Gibbs was Spence's best man when he married Linda Marshall. Spence stood up for Gibbs when he married Shannon. Spence was Kelly's Godfather and helped Gibbs the best he could when Shannon and Kelly were murdered. Gibbs stepped up when Spence and Linda separated. Gibbs was Godfather to Spence's two sons but Linda kept the boys away from both men for several years. She eventually rebuilt a civil relationship with Spence but the kids were estranged from Spence and Gibbs didn't know them at all. It was sad for all parties.

Spence dallied with relationships with men but could never truly find the right person. He and Gibbs talked a lot about that over cowboy steaks and beer. Spence knew Gibbs wanted to find the right person as well but he had watched his friend marry again and again. He finally told Gibbs "Quit trying to replace Shannon! You need to find the right guy this time!"

They use to joke it would be so much easier if they were attracted to each other.

Gibbs had mentioned Tony to Spence on many occasions. What usually came up was how much their personalities were alike. Gibbs never told Spence his true feelings for Tony. Gibbs usually denied the feelings to himself.

When he finally realized Tony reciprocated those feelings Gibbs couldn't get past their working relationship. He decided to be self-sacrificing for his best friend and SFA. He invited them both over for dinner and had mixed feelings as the sparks began to fly between them.

Tony had been the first to leave that night but not before plans were in place to get together with Spence the following week for dinner and a movie. As Spence helped Gibbs cleanup he shook his head and said "Jesus Gibbs. Thank you so much for tonight. I can't believe you are letting an opportunity like Tony get away from you! I can tell he has deep feelings for you. You sure you two have never….?"

"I'm Tony's boss, Spence. I care for Tony as I care for you. If something happens between the two of you then I will be happy for you both." Gibbs knew he was lying as he said it.

Gibbs did convince himself he was truly happy for Tony and Spence when the two moved in together less than 6 months into their relationship. Both Tony and Spence credited Gibbs for their happiness but Gibbs couldn't help but feel like the third wheel as Tony and Spence became each other's world. Gibbs could see Tony was content and happy. Spence grounded Tony and Tony did the same for Spence. Gibbs shoved any romantic feelings he had for Tony far away.

Those feelings exploded to the surface seeing Tony in so much pain.

Gibbs watched as Tony lowered Spence's hand. Tony looked at Gibbs and without having to say a word Tony left the autopsy room. Gibbs stepped up to Spence and caressed his friends face. He bent down and kissed Spence on his temple.

"I will watch out for him Spence."

It was a promise Gibbs was determined to keep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Devotion Chapter Four**

Gibbs drove Tony back to the Naval Yard to pick up his car. Director Morrow had called with his condolences and advised Gibbs to give Tony two weeks off. Tony protested but Gibbs insisted he take it.

Gibbs pulled up next to Tony's car and parked. Other than Morrow's call the men had rode back in complete silence. Gibbs was the first to speak.

"Tony, do you want me to follow you back to your home? Do you know what Spence wanted in the event of his death?"

He watched as Tony cringed. He looked over at Gibbs and said:

"You know Spence, Gibbs; he was a live in the moment kinda guy. We never really talked about life without the other." Tony's voice hitched a bit. "I know where he has his important papers. I'll go through them and see if I can find something…." Tony's voice trailed off as he looked down at his hands. He hoped he was just having a bad dream and he willed himself to wake up. Gibbs voice brought him back to the reality it was a real living nightmare.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Gibbs asked

Tony thought for a moment and then said "Yes, would you call Linda and tell her what's happened? She hates my guts. I'm sure she'll want to have a say in the funeral, for Spence's kids' sake if nothing else."

Tony looked so lost. Gibbs was well aware how much Linda resented the happiness Tony brought to Spence's life.

"Of course I'll call her Tony. Why don't you go home and rest if you can. Look for the papers and I'll call Linda and discuss it with her. Call me if you need me ok? No need to come back into the building. I'll take care of the paperwork. Do you want me to come over later tonight?"

Tony shook his head no. As he opened the door to leave he turned to Gibbs and said:

"Thank you, for being there for me today. I really don't think I could have handled it without you, boss."

Gibbs gave Tony a sad smile and nodded. His gut was screaming to not let Tony out of his sight but he knew he had to let Tony deal with the burden he was now faced with. Gibbs knew the pain and the immediate loneliness first hand. It hit you the hardest after well -meaning friends and family took their leave. They smothered you with their care and concern not realizing that some things had to be handled alone.

Gibbs was determined Tony would have his time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs waited until Tony started his car and drove away before he got out of his car and headed back into the office. He needed to speak with Abby. She was good friends with both Spence and Tony. He knew she was going to be devastated.

Her lab was alive with that noise she called music. Gibbs found her bopping her head along to the beat. (He wasn't sure if the noise had a beat but Abby did a nice job making it look like it did.)

"Hey Abs!" he yelled in her direction.

Surprisingly she heard him and turned towards him with a big smile.

"GIBBS!" she turned off the music remotely and moved to give him a hug. She stopped and looked at him. Abby was many things including highly intutitive. She gasped and flung herself into his arms saying:

"Oh my god, Gibbs! What's happened? Is the team ok? What's wrong?!"

She pulled back to look him in the face.

"Tony got a call at the crime scene this morning Abs. Spence was killed in a robbery shootout."

"NO!" she cried and looking past him said "Where is Tony, Gibbs? Is he in the bullpen?"

She started to walk away but Gibbs held her back.

"He is heading home Abby."

"WHAT!? You let him go home alone? Why?!"

"He is going to see if he can find Spence's will or directions on how to handle the funeral…"

"YOU LET HIM GO ALONE?!"

"Well, yeah, Abs. He needs to handle this on his own. He knows he can call me, I offered to help."

She shook her head in disbelief and the tears began to streak down her pretty face.

"Tony doesn't do alone well Gibbs! How can you not know that?!"

Gibbs felt admonished. Only Abby or Ducky could ever make him feel like this.

"I don't need to be smothering him Abby! I am going to contact Linda per Tony's request and he will find out what he can so we can lay Spence to rest. It's what people do when these things happen!"

"It's what YOU DO Gibbs! You are a rock. You get it done. You are the perfect man for the job in a crisis. We have all seen it and we all count on you because of it but Tony is not you Gibbs! Tony is more vulnerable and needy. He hasn't had the experiences you have had. He told me one of the things he loved most about Spence was that he made him feel safe. Just like you make him feel safe. It was a quality Tony said you and Spence both shared."

Gibbs didn't know what to say to that. Had he made a mistake in letting Tony go home alone? He shook it off. Tony was a mature (most of the time) man and he could take care of the business at hand. Gibbs wasn't trying to be insensitive he just knew if he was in Tony's place it is what he would want.

"_SHIT! It's what I would have wanted, not what Tony might want!"  
_

"I'll go find him, Abs!" he said as he kissed her cheek and turned to leave.

"Tell him I love him Gibbs! Tell him I'm sorry about Spence!"

"I will Abs."

Gibbs could hear her sobbing for her friends as the elevator door closed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Devotion Chapter Five**

Tony pulled up to his home and parked in the drive way. He stared at the house, unable to get out of the car and go inside. He didn't remember how he got home just that he was there now and Spence wasn't.

Spence would never be home again.

It was hard for Tony to absorb that fact. He viewed their home with different eyes now.

Tony had been excited when Spence asked him to move in. Tony had no fear, which surprised him. Moving in with Spence was as natural as breathing. Together they turned Spence's three bedroom bungalow into a home that was a sanctuary for them both. Their love of movies and music was evident throughout. They both loved to cook and Tony grew to enjoy Spence's love of gardening. Tony remembered the first time Spence had made him bruschetta with fresh tomatoes, onion and cilantro from their vegetable garden. It was the best Tony had ever had.

The best times they shared were together at home, simply the two of them. They both had stressful, busy careers that kept them apart more than together. When they had together time they both knew it was precious and they never took it for granted.

Tony took a deep breath and got out of his car. As he walked towards the front door he looked around.

He took in the partial garden they had started the weekend before. A crate of flowers still sat next to the area Spence had been working on. Spence loved flowers and Tony made it a habit to bring him flowers at least once a week. Spence cherished a crystal vase that had been his grandmother's. They chose to display it prominently on the baby grand piano in the living room. The piano had been Tony's mothers.

When Tony replaced the flowers he did it to honor his love for Spence, the love for his mother and for Spence's grandmother, whom Tony wished he could have met. Spence loved his grandmother. She had been the woman who raised him. Both Tony and Spence had lost their mothers at an early age.

Tony knew he would never plant the flowers Spence had been working on. He wondered if he would ever feel like gardening again. Tony sat on the porch and looked at the flowers. He smiled sadly, remembering Spence, on hands and knees, digging and planting as he sang some country love song he was listening to on his IPod.

Spence had a lovely voice and his pitch was perfect. Tony closed his eyes trying to recreate that day in his mind. He wanted to brand it into his memory forever. He had to laugh as he remembered why the flowers still sat untouched.

Spence didn't get a chance to finish because Tony had playfully sprayed him with the garden hose until he was so pissed he chased Tony inside and upstairs to their bedroom.

Once inside, Spence discarded his clothes as he raced to catch Tony. He knew what Tony wanted. It was a game they played. Tony was naked too by the time Spence tackled him and pinned him to their bed. Tony would put up a fight but not much of one. They would laugh and Tony would wrestle Spence for dominance.

Spence would exert control and take Tony's mouth in a searing, demanding kiss. Tony loved kissing Spence. He could do that one thing for hours. They had made love well into the night. Tony realized that was the last time they had been intimate.

He had not even had a chance to kiss Spence goodbye before they left for work.

Tony ran his fingertips over his lips remembering how cold Spence's lips had been in autopsy. He shook that thought away wanting to forget that last image of Spence.

Tony stood to enter the house. He knew he had to take care of business. He tried to convince himself he could not give into the luxury of a mental breakdown, not yet. He almost had the key in the lock when he heard a familiar sound. The roar of a muscle car's engine was approaching, a 1971 Dodge Challenger to be exact.

Tony turned to see Gibbs pull up and get out of his car.

He hurried to be at Tony's side. Tony could see Gibbs steel blue eyes were filled with care and concern.

No words needed to be spoken.

The look in Gibbs face and his arms embracing Tony in a loving hug is what finally shattered Tony's resolve.

Gibbs was his anchor. Gibbs had his six. Gibbs made him feel safe.

The safety Tony felt in that tight embrace allowed him to break.

When Gibbs stepped out of his car and saw Tony's face he knew he had been wise to act on Abby's concern. Tony looked like a lost little boy. Tony did not fight the embrace when Gibbs enveloped him. Tony relaxed into it and Gibbs could feel his body begin to tremble. Gibbs wrapped a hand behind Tony's head and brought his face in close to Gibbs neck. Tony's hair was soft and Gibbs could feel hot tears on his skin as Tony gave into the grief.

Gibbs mind battled against his physical desires. Holding Tony close began to overwhelm him. The smell of Tony's hair and skin caressed Gibbs senses. The heat of Tony's body burned against his own. Tony's vulnerability brought out a fiercely protective side in Gibbs.

Gibbs respect for Spence and Tony's relationship is what made him break the embrace. He stepped back and maintaining eye contact with Tony, he ran his hand along the length of Tony's arm and took the keys from Tony's hand. He placed his hand on Tony's cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb. He smiled sadly and his heart beat faster as Tony returned the smile. Tony looked heartbroken and spent.

Gibbs unlocked the door and took Tony by the hand and guided him inside. He helped Tony to the couch and went back to close the door and lock it. Tony sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Gibbs walked over to the small wet bar and pulled out a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. He placed the bottle and glasses on the table in front of Tony. Gibbs pulled off his coat and sat down next to Tony. He poured two shots and nudged Tony who looked up, red eyed. Gibbs handed him one of the shots and as he clinked his glass against Tony's he said "To Spence". Tony sat up and said "To Spence". The men downed the shot and Gibbs poured them another. Tony was on his third when Gibbs stood up and said "I am going to step outside and call Linda. You relax; I'm here to help you, Tone."

Tony looked up when Gibbs said "Tone".

Only Spence ever called him that but it felt natural when Gibbs said it.

Tony downed another shot and let his mind go numb. He needed to zone out for a while. Gibbs was there and would take care of him. Gibbs always took care of everything.

Tony took another shot of tequila and stared at the empty glass. Spence loved tequila. Tony thought about everything Spence loved. He also thought about everything that Spence would never, ever have a chance to do again.

No more gardening, no more movie nights together, no more concerts in the park or trips to the beach. No more playing basketball, one on one, until the day gave way to night. No more showers after those basketball games which led into nights of hot sex or tender love making. Never again.

All the things that they had wanted to do together would never happen.

Tony stifled a sob and poured himself another shot.

When Gibbs returned from making his call, he found an almost empty bottle of tequila and his SFA passed out on the couch.

Gibbs poured himself a shot and set the now empty tequila bottle back on the table.

He drank it down and watched Tony as he slept.

Gibbs felt his eyes begin to burn. When he felt the first tear roll down his cheek he tried to stifle his emotions. He had not cried since he had buried Shannon and Kelly. He didn't think crying made a man weak just out of control. Gibbs was a man who needed control.

He reached out and ran his hand through Tony's hair. He leaned in and kissed Tony's forehead.

He realized control was over rated.

He relinquished it and let the tears fall.


	6. Chapter 6

**Devotion Chapter Six**

Gibbs tears had long since dried when he heard his phone vibrating in his jacket pocket.

Tony was still deep in sleep so Gibbs grabbed the jacket and walked into the kitchen. He pulled out the phone and noted the caller ID. It was Abby.

"Hey Abs" He answered

"Hey, Gibbs. Is Tony with you?" She asked

Gibbs turned to make sure Tony was still asleep.

"Yep, we're at his house, Abby. He is passed out on the couch."

"Oh, too much tequila?"

Gibbs smiled and said "Yep."

"Good job, Bossman! Bringing out the big guns is the best tactic in this situation! So you got our boy drunk. Now what's the plan?" she asked.

"I didn't really mean to get him drunk, Abs. He just drank most of the bottle. I was out on the porch calling Linda and when I came back in, well, Tony was out like a light."

"Linda, huh?" Abby said with contempt. "What did she have to say?"

Gibbs knew Abby had seen Linda's dislike for Tony first hand. Tony would never say anything but Abby told Gibbs everything when it came to Linda and her tantrums. Spence and Linda had been divorced for a while before Spence and Tony ever got together but Linda was very jealous and spiteful. She was still in love with Spence and had a lot of anger so she directed it towards Tony.

Gibbs knew it wasn't that Tony was a man. Linda would have it in for anyone who ended up in Spence's life and bed. Linda had even accused Gibbs of taking too much of Spence's time when Linda and Spence first started dating. After their wedding he hardly saw Spence at all.

"What do you think she said, Abs?" he answered sarcastically "She's devastated for herself and for the kids."

"But not for Tony." Abby stated quietly.

Gibbs frowned but didn't answer.

They both knew Tony's feelings would never even register on Linda's radar.

Abby moved past the touchy subject of Linda saying:

"I asked Director Morrow for a day off. I will stay with Tony tomorrow. I already have a schedule to help. McGee, Kate, and Ducky are all on board. We will help anyway we can Gibbs!"

Gibbs loved that Abby was so resourceful. She was always the first to step up to help even if the person might not want help. He knew she meant well. Abby always meant well.

"Let me check with Tony when he is conscious, Abs. See what works for him, okay? I like the plan so far though. I will stay tonight and with you here tomorrow that would really help. But we will defer to what Tony wants, that okay Abby?"

"Of course, Gibbs! Whatever Tony wants! Call me if he doesn't want me to come over tomorrow, otherwise, tell him I will see him bright and early!"

Gibbs could hear the hurt in her voice. He hardened himself to the guilt Abby could bring out in him. Abby could be an overpowering presence. It was just who she was and Gibbs loved her with all his heart.

"Sounds good, Abs. I will tell him. See you tomorrow."

After they hung up, Gibbs put on a pot of coffee. Spence shared his love of dark strong black coffee. Gibbs wasn't disappointed to find the perfect grind where Spence always kept it-same place, pre-DiNozzo. He poured himself a large mug and grabbing the TV remote sat at the kitchen table.

Gibbs turned on the small TV Spence always had on when he cooked. The news of the robbery shootout and the death of a highly decorated cop played on every local channel. Gibbs checked to make sure Tony was still asleep. Tony had rolled over and was lightly snoring. Gibbs turned up the news a bit.

The story showed the convenience store with the yellow crime scene tape around the perimeter. There was footage from the inside of the store. It showed two gang members making their escape but not before one shot the clerk and the other pistol whipped a patron.

The reporter came back with breaking news that they had updated footage of the Officer involved shootout. The reporter warned that the footage was disturbing. It happened in seconds. Gunshots then two robbers and one cop went down. Gibbs was horrified to see Spence's body jerk and hit the pavement hard. Gibbs could see blood pooling around his body. Joe Alvarez was seen checking the suspect he had shot. It appeared Joe was satisfied the guy was dead. He moved quickly to handcuff the suspect Spence had shot and then he was with Spence trying to curb the blood flow. Joe was seen screaming for help and then Gibbs could see Joe had leaned down close to Spence. It must have been the exact moment Spence gave Joe the message for Tony.

Gibbs was startled when he heard Tony gasp behind him.

As Gibbs turned around he watched Tony stumble back and then stagger quickly down the hall towards the bathroom.

Gibbs followed him but stopped at the bathroom entrance as he heard Tony retching.

Gibbs didn't know how much Tony had seen. He could kick himself for even turning on the television.

As Tony's body purged itself of the tequila, Gibbs could hear Tony gag and then sob.

Gibbs leaned against the wall and ran his hand over his face in frustration.

He wanted to be able to help Tony but he was torn between honor and desire.

Honor needed to rule so Gibbs had to stay at a distance. He hated himself for his personal weakness.

It was going to be a very long night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Devotion Chapter Seven**

"Do you need anything Tony?" Gibbs asked from the hallway

"No, thanks, I'll be out in a minute." Tony replied

Tony heard Gibbs walk back towards the kitchen.

Silence fell within the house as Gibbs turned off the television.

Tony looked at himself in the mirror as he splashed water on his face. He pulled the towel from the towel ring and dried his face and hands. Looking down he realized he had puked on himself. His shirt and pants had been lightly spattered.

"Yuck!" he said aloud as he pulled off the offending garments. They smelled like bile and tequila. Tony's nose crinkled as he wrapped the clothes into a ball. Dressed only in his boxers, Tony carried them toward the laundry room that was right off the kitchen.

He was embarrassed Gibbs had seen him like this. He had a feeling Gibbs wouldn't care. Seeing Spence's last moments of TV was too much. Tony wondered if Spence's kids saw it too. Tony had never met Spence's sons but Tony knew how much they meant to Spence. Tony was pissed that the news station didn't take in to account that the family might not have been notified yet.

Tony wondered about Gibbs conversation with Linda. He was posed to ask that question as he passed Gibbs in the kitchen. Gibbs had been rummaging in the fridge when he turned to see Tony walking, partially clothed, through the room.

Gibbs could feel his face flush.

"Jesus DiNozzo! Put some clothes on!"

Gibbs didn't plan on that one sentence to come out sounding like he was disgusted and angry but it did.

Since Gibbs never apologized, Tony could only stand in shock and bewilderment. He recovered quickly.

"Uh, that was the plan boss. Just need to put these in the washer."

Tony dropped the clothes into the machine. He hurried back through the kitchen and not even looking in Gibbs direction, made his way up the stairs.

When he didn't come back in ten minutes Gibbs went upstairs to find him. He found Tony sitting on the edge of the king sized bed he and Spence had purchased the day they moved in together. The intricately carved headboard had been a gift from Gibbs the first Christmas Spence and Tony had spent together.

Tony had put on a pair of old sweats but had yet to put on a shirt. He had his face buried in an old shirt of Spence's. Gibbs recognized it as the USMC shirt Spence always wore on the weekends. Gibbs knew this because he had one just like it. They were old and soft and Gibbs could tell Tony was breathing in Spence's scent. He had done a similar thing when Shannon and Kelly died. It was a sad day when the house no longer had the scents that reminded him of his girls.

"Hey!" Gibbs said roughly

Tony looked up, red eyed. He then hurried to put the shirt on.

"I ordered us a pizza for dinner. You okay with that?" Gibbs demanded

"Not really hungry Boss."

"Tough, you need to eat DiNozzo. Pizza will be here in 20." Gibbs then turned and headed downstairs.

Tony took notice that Gibbs had taken to calling him DiNozzo, like they were out in the field. The affection he had heard earlier when Gibbs had called him "Tone" was gone. Tony usually was uncomfortable with a "nice" Gibbs but it had actually been comforting considering the situation. Tony wondered if Gibbs was fed up with him already.

Gibbs had lost his best friend and Tony had not asked him how he was handling that. Tony knew he was indebted to Gibbs. If it hadn't been for Gibbs playing cupid, Tony would not have had the two years of happiness he had with Spence. Gibbs probably thought he was an ingrate and his neediness annoying.

After they had dinner he would ask Gibbs to leave. He didn't want to burden the older man any longer.

The pizza arrived timely and Gibbs refused Tony's offer to pay. Tony got two plates from the cupboard as Gibbs grabbed them two bottles of water from the refrigerator.

The men ate in silence.

Tony was pleased Gibbs had ordered his favorite pizza-sausage, pepperoni and extra cheese.

The one thing Spence always got wrong was the pizza order. Spence always added mushroom for some reason. Tony chuckled at that which drew Gibbs attention. Gibbs right eyebrow rose in silent inquiry to Tony's reaction.

Tony smiled at Gibbs and said "I was just thinking how you always get my pizza order right and Spence never did."

Gibbs response was a slight smirk just before he took another bite of his slice of pizza.

Tony was not comfortable with the silence between them so he said "You talked to Linda?"

Gibbs nodded in the affirmative.

"What did she say? Was she upset?"

Gibbs put the uneaten portion of his pizza slice back on his plate and wiped his napkin across his mouth.

He looked at Tony like he was an idiot. Tony cringed and because Gibbs had no clue why, he ignored it.

"Ya think, DiNozzo? Of course she was upset! She said she had a lot of old paper work she and Spence had put together when they were first married that may contain a directive on how he'd like to be laid to rest. She said she would get back to me tomorrow."

Linda was a sore spot for Tony. He appreciated Gibbs made the call but Tony was incensed when Gibbs said Linda would get back to _him_!

"Back to you? What the hell?! She should be calling me!" Tony stood up and carried his dish over to the sink. He threw the remains of his pizza in the trash. He knew he was probably acting like a petulant child but he didn't care.

Gibbs sat back in his chair and studied Tony. He didn't understand why Tony was so upset. Gibbs tried to be sympathetic but a Tony/Linda tantrum pissed Gibbs off. He was determined not to have any part of it.

"Well I can direct her call to you if you prefer." Gibbs said coolly

Tony could see the flash of anger in Gibbs eyes. When Gibbs crossed his arms it just added to the insecure feeling Tony had that Gibbs was regretting having to deal with him.

Tony felt his face getting hot. He realized he was pissed at Gibbs. Gibbs looked like a smug son of a bitch sitting there with his arms crossed, judging him. Tony had lost so much more than his dignity over the past few hours but dignity was the one thing he could get back. He straightened up and said:

"Thanks for coming over, thanks for calling Linda and thanks for dinner, boss, but I got it from here."

Tony's response caught Gibbs off guard. He sat forward and he dropped his arms down onto the table.

"Do you want me to leave?" Gibbs asked

Tony did not want Gibbs to leave. He would like nothing more than to cling to Gibbs and sob like a little girl. It would be unbecoming for a grown man to act like that. That is what Tony's Father would tell him. Tony had always floundered when it came to dealing with his emotions. He knew he was an emotional cripple seeking help from a functional mute.

"You don't have to stay, Gibbs. I will look for Spence's papers tonight so I can deal with Linda tomorrow. When she calls you I would appreciate you directing her to call me. We can compare notes and honor Spence accordingly."

Gibbs knew Tony was putting up a front. Tony did not say "yes" when asked the direct question if he would like Gibbs to leave. This led Gibbs to believe Tony wanted him to stay so he said:

"I can help you with the papers."

Tony shook his head while saying "Thanks but I will take care of it."

Gibbs didn't want to leave. He could tell Tony was fighting to stay in one piece. He started to raise his hand to place on Tony's cheek but stopped. Instead he stood up and took his plate to the sink. He then walked into the living room to grab his coat with Tony following close behind.

Tony walked Gibbs to the door. Gibbs looked intently at Tony and Tony could see the confusion and hesitation in Gibbs eyes. He and Gibbs were usually so in sync that they could read each other without doubt. Not tonight. Tony felt lost and unsure. Gibbs was torn between going and staying. It made for an awkward goodbye.

"Okay, I will have Linda call you when I hear from her. Abby said she would like to spend the day with you tomorrow. She said to call her if you don't want her to come over otherwise she will see you early."

Tony nodded and smiled weakly. He felt his eyes begin to burn and he fought it with everything he could.

Gibbs walked a few steps and turning said "Call me if you need me."

"I will boss…and thanks again" Gibbs heard the break in Tony's voice. Tony cleared his throat and added

"Thanks for the two weeks off. I will talk to you in a few days when I have more information on Spence."

"_A few days?" _Gibbs thought sadly.

"Alright Tony, whatever you want." Gibbs said

The last image he had of Tony was of Tony closing the front door, the look of the lost little boy had returned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony took a deep breath as he closed the door on Gibbs. He steadied himself saying out loud,

"You can do this, DiNozzo" as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and carried it into Spence's study.

He sat at Spence's desk and opened the top drawer. He pulled out the small brass key Spence kept in the pencil tray and spun the desk chair around to the oak filing cabinet directly behind him. He knew Spence kept all his personal paperwork in this cabinet but Tony had never seen any of it.

He took a sip of beer and busied himself pulling out one file at a time and reading over each one.

Several hours later, Tony sat back in the desk chair and felt he may be sick. He had gone through every piece of paper in the file cabinet. When he had moved in with Spence, Spence had wanted Tony on the deed to the house. They had filled all the paperwork out adding Tony on as co-owner. Tony found all their original documents; they had never been filed with the county recorder so Spence was still listed as the only owner.

Tony had also found an outdated will and testament showing Linda as executrix of Spence's estate. Everything Spence had was left to Linda and the kids. Tony expected the kids to be left the bulk of Spence's estate but seeing Linda's name on everything gave Tony a sinking feeling. He had lost the love of his life and now he realized he was about to lose his home as well.

The last file gave Linda complete say in how Spence's remains would be handled.

It was like Tony had never existed in Spence's life.

That feeling was pure agony.

He wanted to fall apart but knew he couldn't. He had to act fast and he needed help. He set himself into survival mode. Looking at the clock he could see it was just past 11 PM.

He picked up the phone and made the call to the one person he knew would drop everything to be at his side. When the phone was answered Tony said:

"Sorry to call you so late, but I need your help, Abs."


	8. Chapter 8

**Devotion Chapter Eight**

Abby flung herself into Tony's arms when he answered the door thirty minutes later.

"I'm so sorry about Spence, Tony." She cried as she buried her head in the crook of his neck.

He hugged her tightly. Abby gave the best hugs. Tony could feel all the love and care and kindness she directed his way. He pulled back and holding her face gently between his hands, he planted a loving kiss on her forehead. Her eyes were glistening, so he used his thumbs to wipe away her unshed tears.

"Thank you Abby for getting over here so quickly." He said appreciatively

He then took in what she was wearing and had to laugh. Abby had on white flannel pants that were covered with black cats. Every cat was the same. Their backs were arched and their tails were bushy like they were hissing or scared. Her small black T-shirt had "Cat Scratch Fever" across the front in white letters and on the back was a series of what looked like cat scratches, also in white. The pony tails were absent; she had one long braid off to one side. Her beautiful face was devoid of any makeup.

"Oh, God, Abs! I got you out of bed! I'm sorry!"

She socked him in the shoulder as she walked into the living room.

"I hadn't even closed the lid of my coffin yet, Tony. Besides I would do anything for you, you know that."

She looked around and said "Where's Gibbs? He told me he would be staying with you tonight."

"I told him he could leave Abby."

"Why?" she asked somewhat surprised

Tony directed her to the couch and trying to deflect her question he said "You really sleep in that coffin with the lid closed?"

She smirked at him and said "Answer the question, DiNozzo! Why did you send Gibbs…..?"

As Abby asked the question she saw Tony's face pale and a deep sadness overcame him.

"What is it Tony?"

He looked at her and he said "Am I supposed to pick out a coffin for Spence? I don't have a clue what he wants, Abs. We never talked about it. I have no idea if he would want to be buried or cremated. If I had an answer to either of those questions there would still be the questions of, where to bury him or scatter the ashes!"

Tony dropped down heavily onto the couch and placed his head in his hands. Abby sat next to him and put her arm over his shoulder and hugged him tightly to her body.

"First things first. Why did you send Gibbs away and why did you call me to take his place? What do you need Tony?"

Abby had pulled back from her embrace to look at him. He looked up at her and the sadness in his eyes almost made her cry. She held the smile on her face and stood up. She put her hand out to him and when he grabbed it, she helped haul him to his feet.

"Let's get a drink first, okay?" he asked

"Tequila?"

She laughed as Tony turned a shade of green.

"God, not tequila! How about a beer?" he said

"Sounds good."

She followed him to the kitchen. He grabbed two beers from the fridge. After twisting off the caps he handed her one and pointing his bottle in the direction of the study they walked down the hallway.

She took a seat in one of the two recliners in the room as he took a seat behind the desk.

They both took a swig from their beers and Tony said "I could not have survived this day without Gibbs. He saved me this morning at the crime scene. The man literally took control and got me to Spence. I think I was in such shock I might have just gone off the deep end or ended up in a catatonic state if he hadn't had my six."

He took another drink and continued "There is something I never told you Abby."

Abby's eyebrows shot upwards at that but she remained quiet waiting him out.

Tony sighed and looking down at his hands said "I have been in love with Gibbs for years, Abs."

There were a few minutes of silence and Tony began to regret his confession. He couldn't look at Abby.

"I know." She said quietly

He looked up at her then. She looked sad but maintained her smile.

"You know?! How…?"

"Oh, please Tony! It was obvious several years ago. Ducky and I even had a bet as to which one of you would declare their love for the other!"

"WHAT?! You and Ducky! How the hell…?"

"Ducky figured it out a while ago. You are excellent undercover Tony, but you were transparent when it came to Gibbs. The need for attention, the way you looked at him, the jealousy when Gibbs brought Kate on board…"

"I was not jealous of Kate!"

"Uh huh…keep telling yourself that Tony…."

"Well, okay…maybe a little….it was nice when it was just me and Gibbs, Abs. Anyway, I was sprung on Gibbs and being drunk made me daring. I told him I loved him. We even felt each other up and made out in front of his fire…"

"Oh my God! Tony! Do you know what this means?!"

"What!?" He asked startled by her outburst

"Ducky owes me twenty bucks!' she laughed at his shocked expression, taking another drink of her beer.

"So you bet that I would tell Gibbs first?"

"Uh huh" she smirked

"Why?"

"Because Gibbs would never hit on his subordinate."

"FUCK!" he stood up quickly and paced around the room

"That is exactly why he stopped Abby! He said he was my boss and rule 12 and it would never work! It took me so long to get over that. We agreed to never talk about it again and things went back to normal after a while. Then he introduced me to Spence…I will be forever indebted to Gibbs for that. You know I love and adore Spence right, Abs?" Tony was conscious he was using the present tense when talking about Spence. He still couldn't wrap his mind around Spence being deceased.

"Of course Tony! I know you two were crazy in love!"

Abby used "were" and Tony felt a little sick at that.

"Well, when Gibbs showed up here this afternoon he was so nice. It's like I could feel he cared for me Abby, like he was holding back but he cared. He actually held me and let me cry and he kept me from falling apart. Then he got cold and distant and pulled away. I was getting mixed messages!"

He decided to leave out the information of seeing Spence on the television so he said "The tequila made me sick and I puked my guts out. I spattered my clothes so I took them off and brought them into the laundry room. I was practically naked but didn't give it much thought but when Gibbs saw me he became flustered and yelled at me to put some clothes on. I felt embarrassed in my own home Abs!"

"I felt I was losing respect in his eyes and I couldn't handle that. He called Linda for me and then I got angry when he told me she agreed to call him back tomorrow. I was pissed that she was calling him! Like he is the grown up handling things for my dumb ass."

"Tony! You know Gibbs better than that! He would do anything to help you!"

"That's just it Abby…I know he will do that for me but I can't shake the feeling he is disgusted that I can't handle things on my own."

He handed her the papers he had left out of Spence's files.

"This is the reason I called you tonight. When I moved in with Spence he insisted we fill out paperwork to add me as co-owner of the house. I signed and he was supposed to file. As you can see he never did."

As Abby scanned the documents he continued:

"I am financially invested in this property Abs but have no legal claim to it."

Abby gasped and looked up at Tony.

"Everything is in Linda's name and everything that Spence owns is to be inherited by his sons and his ex. Linda even has control on how to handle Spence's funeral!"

His voice broke at that truth. He looked down and Abby could see his body begin to shake. She dropped the papers on the desk and walked around and leaned down to meet his eyes.

"Tony" she said with a strength she didn't really feel "It will be alright. We just need a plan. Do you want to continue to live here?"

"I don't think I want to Abby." He said truthfully

"Okay…so we find you a new place to live. Do you and Spence have joint bank accounts?"

"Yes, we have one joint account and we each have our own."

"Are they at the same bank?"

"Yes"

"Why don't we go on line and transfer money from the joint account to yours?"

Tony sat and thought for a moment then said quietly

"It's not about the money, Abs."

"I know it isn't with you Tony but if you are about to lose the home to Linda you need to be a mercenary!" she said with contempt

Tony smiled and said "That's why I called you Abby."

Abby watched as Tony transferred all the funds, with the exception of one dollar, from the joint account to his own account. Abby saw what Tony had in savings and gave a whistle.

"Whoa! You weren't kidding that you don't need the money Tony! You might want to think about diversifying that large sum into something other than 2% interest from a bank."

"I have a large diversified account in trust, Abs."

When he saw she looked shocked he added "Inherited trust from my Mother."

She nodded and said:

"Well at least money is not a problem. You need to decide what you want to do. If you want to fight for the house or if we should find you a home of your own. You know you can always come and stay with me! Gibbs would probably let you stay…."

"I can't stay with Gibbs, Abby! I have to handle this on my own! I know I am insecure and needy…God, I can't lose his respect or my own for that matter. I am going to have to handle Linda tomorrow and would appreciate you having my six."

Abby got a gleam in her eye and with a wicked smile said "Oh, you can count on it, Tony!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony was reluctant to sleep in his and Spence's bed but Abby convinced him to. He said he would but only if she shared it with him. She had agreed and was sleeping deeply beside him as his mind raced.

He ran different scenarios in his mind on how to deal with Linda. None of them cast the outcome in a good light. Linda hated him and he knew she would be more than happy to take over and kick him to the curb. He remembered the first time they met. It was the weekend Tony moved in with Spence. Linda had been shocked when Spence introduced them.

_Flashback_

_Spence and Tony were standing out on the front lawn taking a short break._

"_Are you sure that piano will fit in the living room?" Spence asked Tony as they watched the piano movers struggle to get the large object into the house._

"_Yes, I measured it Spence. You will still have plenty of room to move or dance around." Tony joked_

"_Dance around? Hmmm….that sounds really nice knowing I have a permanent partner living with me."_

_Spence smiled at Tony and grabbed him around the neck bringing him close. Spence covered Tony's mouth with his own and claimed a deep kiss. They broke away when they were interrupted by the slamming of a car door._

_Tony watched as a petite brunette wearing Prada sunglasses and a pinched expression on her face stood next to a beautiful, two seat, navy blue, BMW convertible._

"_Shit" Tony heard Spence say under his breath as Spence released Tony and took a step back._

_The brunette stomped toward them and when she was right next to Spence she lifted her sunglasses up onto her head like a headband. She placed her hands on her hips and with disgust on her face looked Tony up and down and hissed at Spence:_

"_So, this is your new boy toy, Spence? What is this flavor of the month called?"_

_Tony noticed Spence's body go rigid and he bristled at her comments. Spence would not be baited._

"_Tony DiNozzo…this is my ex-wife, Linda."_

_Tony put out his hand saying "Nice to meet you Linda."_

_Linda did not accept Tony's hand. She looked from the hand up into Tony's face and just stared at him._

_Tony noticed she had pale blue eyes. They would have been pretty if they weren't filled with obvious hatred and contempt. Spence had warned Tony about Linda's jealousy but it was still hard to deal with in the flesh._

"_I am also the Mother of his two sons!" she said like it was a badge of honor_

_Tony lowered his hand and smiled kindly at her. He chose diplomacy and remained silent._

"_What do you want Linda?" Spence asked_

"_I need to talk to you" she said and then added "alone."_

"_I have no secrets from Tony, Linda. Anything you have to say you can and will say in front of him. I am guessing this is about money?"_

_Tony watched as Linda flushed a bright shade of crimson. Spence had hit his target._

_Trying to ignore the fact Tony was there she said "I need two thousand dollars!" _

_She then added "For the boys."_

"_What?" Spence said, anger beginning to show "I just sent you the final child support payment two months ago Linda! I have set up accounts for both Sam and Jacob! They have their debit cards and are both over eighteen! I over paid you as a courtesy, Linda. If the boys need cash they know they can call me directly. Why are you really here?"_

_Tony could tell Linda was about to come unglued. He said to Spence:_

"_Hey, I'll see you inside, Spence."_

"_NO! Tony I want you to stay!" Spence demanded grabbing Tony's arm in protest_

_Tony could see the growing fury in Linda's eyes. Tony stayed at Spence's side against his better judgment._

"_I will ask you one last time, Linda. Why do you need the money?"_

"_Dammit Spence!" Linda spat at him "I do not want to talk in front of your pretty boy!"_

_Spence's voice went up two octaves. Tony knew he was pissed._

"_Well Linda this "Pretty Boy" is my partner and he has an equal say in how the money ebbs and flows. I will take care of my sons, Linda, but I do not have any more monetary obligation to you. But as a courtesy, I will ask one last time…why do you want the money?!"_

_Tony saw Linda's lip quiver as she debated on what she should do. Pride took over and as she slammed her sunglasses down over her eyes, she walked back to her car hurriedly and in a rage._

_As she drove away Spence turned to Tony and said "I'm sorry you had to see that Tone. Thank you for staying with me." Spence gave Tony a quick peck on the lips and headed towards the front steps. Tony watched as Linda's car disappeared. In the pit of his stomach he knew he had made an enemy and he hadn't even tried._

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Tony looked at the clock and the digital reading said 2 am. He was still wide awake although he was really exhausted. He listened as Abby snorted in her sleep and then she turned over. He was happy to not be alone. He didn't think he would ever be able to sleep alone in this bed. If he had to move he didn't even think he would take the bed with him. He figured if he had to store his stuff he would get rid of the bed and store the beautiful headboard Gibbs had made for them. Tony raised his arm and ran his hand over the carved wood. The headboard was made of a rich walnut and Gibbs had carved out ivy vines throughout. He had even painted the leaves different shades of green. When Gibbs presented them with this special gift he had toasted their union saying:

"_Throughout the ages ivy has been regarded as the emblem of fidelity, and of old, Greek priests would present a wreath of ivy to newly married persons. I am well aware of the commitment you two share and felt this would be appropriate. I know you cannot legally marry but I have seen the devotion you have for each other. My love to you both. I wish you years of good health, wealth and happiness."_

Tony smiled remembering that speech. Tony was so touched by Gibbs display of affection.

After Gibbs was done, Tony had jokingly said "I think that is the most I have heard you say at one time in over a month boss!"

He had earned a head slap for that comment.

Tony yawned and rolled over on his side away from Abby. He thought about the first time he and Spence made love after they had attached Gibbs headboard to the wall. Tony was lying on his back and Spence was over him. They were kissing and Spence had pulled back to just look at Tony.

Spence had given Tony the most loving and satisfied look as he said in a lust filled voice:

"The green of the Ivy brings out the green in your eyes, Tone."

Tony felt a rush of desire ricochet through his body.

Tony and Spence were not hung up on who would top or who would bottom. They were in a natural sync and wherever the mood took them is how they would go.

Tony's lust for Spence raged inside him. Taking control, Tony rolled Spence over to where Spence was lying on his back and Tony now hovered over him.

Spence looked surprised but smiled acknowledging his submission. This was Tony's game and Spence was a willing participant. Tony placed a hand on each side of Spence's head. He lowered himself onto Spence's hard, warm body. Their lips met and Spence yielded to Tony's demanding tongue. Tony explored his lover's mouth as Spence took Tony into his arms pulling his body as close as he could.

Tony came up for air and smiling down at Spence he said "I want you to relax. Let me take care of you."

Spence's blue eyes were full of lust and desire. He had lost the ability to speak so he just nodded at Tony's request. Tony smiled at Spence's compliance. He kissed Spence hard. He then changed tactics and began to lightly kiss his way down Spence's jaw then to his throat. Tony knew all of Spence's weak spots and began to work Spence into a sexual frenzy.

Tony kissed and licked his way down Spence's chest until he reached a nipple. He licked and worked each one with his teeth, biting lightly to the complete arousal of his partner. Tony smiled against Spence's hot skin as Spence was reduced to a monosyllabic mess.

Tony ran his hand along Spence's hard stomach and kissed his way down to his navel. Tony inhaled deeply, the smell of Spence's arousal made Tony's erection even harder. Tony moved between Spence's legs and with a hand on each thigh Tony took Spence's hard cock into his mouth. Spence tasted so wonderful that Tony groaned around the hard shaft. This caused Spence to grab Tony by the hair and with total abandon Spence screamed that he wanted to fuck Tony's mouth.

Tony did not need a lot of encouragement. He loved deep throating Spence and driving him crazy. Tony massaged and pinched Spence's balls which elicited growls and groans from his lover.

"Oh God, I'm gonna come Tone…..I can't hold back…I…I…" and with that Spence exploded his climax inside Tony's throat. Tony swallowed every drop and licked and cleaned Spence, who had been reduced to a quivering, boneless lump.

Tony moved up Spence's body and whispered in his ear. "On your stomach, my love."

Spence complied immediately. Tony massaged Spence's shoulder as he reached for a tube of lube from their nightstand drawer. Spence was so relaxed and Tony was beyond aroused. Opening the tube Tony applied a generous portion onto his own hard and leaking cock. He heated the lube by rubbing his hands together and then moved his hands over Spence's tight ass. Tony leaned over Spence's spent body and as he rubbed his hard cock up and down along the crack of Spence's ass he said with heated desire:

"I want you, Spence. I am going to take you hard and I am going to empty my balls into you."

Spence could barely speak but Tony heard him whisper "Do it, Tone!"

That was all Tony needed to hear. With one swift plunge he was balls deep in Spence. Spence writhed under him. Reacting first to the immediate pain of impalement and then giving himself over to the pleasure as Tony hit his prostrate with every thrust.

Spence raised his hips, he wanted Tony as deep as he could go. Tony shifted his weight and grabbing onto the headboard he angled his thrusts to both please and tease Spence.

"Fuck me! Fuck me hard…harder!" Spence demanded

Tony felt sweat running down his chest and his back as he thrust harder into Spence. He could feel his balls tighten and the tingling at the base of his spine as his orgasm rushed to the surface. Tony clung to the headboard, his eyes mesmerized by the intertwined vines of carved ivy. With every thrust he felt his love for Spence grow but his mind wandered to another.

As he shot load after load deep into his lover's body Tony closed his eyes.

He screamed out Spence's name but the image in his mind was of Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony woke up in a sweat. The clock said 4:30 am. Abby was still sound asleep next to him. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed he got up and tip toed to the master bathroom. He splashed water on his face and just stared at his reflection in the mirror.

His memory of making love to Spence had morphed into a dream.

The last image of that dream was of Gibbs.

Tony sat on the edge of the bathtub and felt sick. Not physically ill but spiritually.

He loved Riley Spencer for two years. He loved the man and always would. Thinking of Gibbs, even unconsciously, made Tony feel like he was not being faithful to Spence. His partner had not even been dead 24 hours and Tony was thinking of another.

Tony knew that since he had admitted how he felt to Gibbs, he had had to snuff out the flame of desire.

But if Tony was completely honest, he knew he carried a torch for Gibbs and probably always would.

Tony knew that was a desire that would never be fulfilled.

He did have love in his life that was real and reciprocated but that love had been taken away. Spence was dead and Tony's life, as he knew it, was also dead. How was he supposed to live the rest of his life without Spence? He didn't have an answer.

Tony thought about what Joe had said were Spence's last words. "I will see you on the other side, Tone."

Tony wondered if there was another side. Do you really get to be with the ones you love? Tony hoped that was true. He had a true romantic love with Spence and it was taken away. He could not be angry at Spence for not filing the paperwork for co-ownership of the house. Tony really couldn't give a rat's ass about material stuff, contrary to what his lifestyle may indicate to others. The expensive suits and expensive tastes were not for show. Tony liked what he liked but what he yearned for more than anything else was to be wanted and loved. He had that with Spence and now he didn't.

Tony fought the tears but they won. He cried for his loss of Spence and he cried for Spence's loss of life. He even cried for Joe, Linda, Sam and Jacob. He stopped mid sob and thought of Gibbs. A tear ran down his cheek as he remembered how Gibbs had convinced him to meet Spence.

_Flashback_

"_Just come and meet the guy, DiNozzo. It's only dinner and drinks."_

"_Why are you setting me up, boss?" Tony had asked suspiciously_

_Gibbs had turned to him and sighed. _

"_I want you to be happy, Tony."_

"_What about your happiness, Gibbs?"_

_Gibbs shook his head but didn't answer._

"_Just be at my house by 7pm…okay?"_

Tony was there at 7pm.

A week later he was on the adventure of a lifetime.

Two years later his life felt over.

His hope was gone, his love was dead, and at this point he realized nothing mattered.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N-A special shoutout to NCIS Fan 10802-Guten Morgen! **

**Devotion Chapter Nine**

"_Enough of the self-pity"_ Tony thought as he stood up from his seated position on the bathtub.

He returned to the bedroom and looked at the alarm clock. It was almost 5 AM. He felt comforted watching Abby sleeping peacefully. He didn't want to disturb her so he changed his clothes and put on his running shoes.

He would keep his morning routine. He needed to clear his head before the stressful day got underway. Before he headed out he set the timer on the coffee pot for one hour. He wrote Abby a quick note telling her where he went. He placed it under the black mug with glow in the dark skulls he had bought especially for her a few years ago. He set the mug next to the coffee pot. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. When he turned off the kitchen light the skulls glowed in the darkness.

He grabbed his wallet, his keys and his phone zipping them securely in his running pants pockets. As he walked through the living room the crystal vase on the piano caught his eye. He noted the birds of paradise he had bought Spence last week were sagging and in need of replacing. Beside the vase that Spence cherished, there were three framed photos on the piano. The first was of Spence with his Mother and Grandmother. The second was of Tony and his Mother. These photos were taken when both men were little boys.

The third was of the two of them together. It was a photo Abby had snapped of them soon after they had moved in together. Tony remembered that day. Abby kept trying to get Tony to sit still as she tried to take a photo and Spence had walked up behind him. He rested his head on Tony's shoulder and had whispered "The sooner Abby gets the photo, the sooner she leaves, and the sooner we get to misbehave".

Spence had then kissed Tony's cheek and turned his eyes towards the lens.

Abby got her shot. Spence was smiling; his arms draped over Tony's shoulders a glint of mischief in his eyes. Tony's face was complete joy with a hint of surprise in his eyes. He wore a huge smile and had placed his hands up, holding Spence's arms down around him. It was his favorite photo of the two of them.

He rubbed his eyes determined not to cry. He headed to the door and exited. He locked up and inhaled the crisp cold air of an early D.C. morning. He would run without his IPod. Too many songs would remind him of Spence. He hit the pavement at a steady pace. The only sounds were his breathing, his footfalls on the asphalt and an occasional neighbor saying hello as they got their morning newspaper. Tony ran his usual path, keeping his pace even and his mind blank for about 30 minutes.

He slowed down as he reached the area in his neighborhood that had a few small businesses.

There was a coffee café, a news stand, a health food store and the small florist Tony frequented weekly. The owner, Giuseppe Manacuso, was directing his flower vendors where to place his daily flower orders.

"Anthony!" Manacuso greeted Tony with a smile and a wave of his hand.

"Mornin' Giuseppe" Tony greeted his friend "Hey, I know it's early but do you think I can pick up a bouquet now?"

"For my best customer?! Anytime Anthony! What would you like this week?"

"A dozen white roses."

Manacuso's brows furrowed at first but then he got a surprised look on his face and he laughed.

"Oh, Tony….you and Spence have a fight?"

Tony's eyes burned but he held Manacuso's gaze and shaking his head said:

"Spence was killed yesterday, Giuseppe."

Manacuso gasped as his hand covered his mouth "Spence was the cop killed in that shootout?"

Tony nodded as he said:

"I have always heard white roses represent loss and sympathy along with purity and love…."

Tony began to choke up so he stopped talking.

Manacuso stepped forward and pulled Tony into a tight embrace as he quietly said "I am so sorry Tony. Come in" he directed Tony into the shop "Let me arrange something for you in honor of Spence."

Tony watched as Giuseppe Mancuso took eleven beautiful white roses and arranged them with fern and baby's breath. He added a single blood red rose to the eleven white making it an even dozen.

"One single red rose is a sign of devotion, Anthony. I am so sorry about Spence." He said as he handed the bouquet to Tony. Tony had reached for his wallet and Manacuso shook his head saying "This one is on me. Spence was a good man. My condolences to you and your families, Anthony."

"Thank you, Giuseppe. These are beautiful." Tony said quietly as he inhaled the rich scent of the flowers.

He shook Manacuso's hand and accepted a hug in return. Tony said goodbye and walked back towards his home.

As he passed the news stand he caught the headline of the morning Washington Post:

"Decorated D.C. Police Officer Gunned Down by Los Muretos M C Initiates"

_What the fuck!? Spence was gunned down because of some gang banger initiation! _

Tony paid for the newspaper with a shaking hand. He folded the paper and put it under his arm. He would wait until he got home to read it. He began to feel light headed as he walked. Tony knew the world was full of senseless violence but he couldn't think of Spence dying such a senseless death. Spence had seen combat in two tours of Afghanistan and seen the worst the D.C. streets produced. To be cut down by a freak shot just above his vest by some gang banger initiate had Tony's blood boiling. Tony wished Spence's bullet had been true and he had at least ended the man who ended him.

Tony made a mental note to call Spence's partner Joe later in the day. Tony knew Joe would be on administrative leave pending the investigation of the shootout.

When Tony entered his house he heard music blaring in the kitchen. Abby must have found Spence's IPod and docked it into the kitchen speakers. Tony smiled as "Disco Inferno" reverberated off the walls. Tony and Spence both loved the movie" Saturday Night Fever" but Tony was not a big disco fan. Spence was only one of two people who could get him up to "boogie". The other person was Abby. Tony chuckled to himself as he threw the newspaper down on the couch and grabbed the vase off the piano and headed into the kitchen.

He set the vase and the bouquet down on the kitchen counter and stood back to watch Abby dancing around using a spatula as a microphone. She was very entertaining. When she noticed she was not alone she screeched and threw the spatula into the sink.

"TONY! You scared me!" she yelled, but soon broke out in laughter as she enjoyed seeing Tony laughing at her.

"Oh God Abs….the way you threw that spatula, like it caught fire in your hand…" he was almost in hysterics.

They roared with laughter until the song ended and Tony realized the next song had started. It was Chaka Khan singing "Ain't Nobody". Tony pulled the IPod out of the speaker dock and turned it off. Tony could not handle a love song at the moment especially one he knew Spence favored. Very few people knew what a romantic sap Spence was. Tony wondered if he could ever listen to another love song and not feel empty.

He smiled at Abby in lieu of an apology. She understood and pulled Spence's chipped USMC mug out of the kitchen cupboard and poured Tony a cup of coffee. She handed it to him after adding sugar and hazelnut creamer. He took a drink and gave her a wink of approval.

She picked up the roses and buried her nose in them.

"God, these smell incredible Tony! They are so beautiful…Spence would have loved them."

_Would have loved them…past tense... Fuck…._

Tony set down the mug and busied himself replacing the old flowers with the new.

Abby watched him silently. When Tony had them arranged he wiped the bottom of the crystal vase and returned it to its place on the piano. Abby had followed Tony carrying both of their coffee mugs. Tony set the vase down and stood back to admire the roses for Spence. He accepted his mug from Abby and she tapped his mug with hers.

He smiled at her and said "Thank you Abby, for being here for me."

She returned his smile saying "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else Tony."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs drove to the naval yard bleary eyed and sleep deprived. He had a 32oz coffee in his hand. It was his second of the day.

When Gibbs had arrived home the night before, he couldn't get over the feeling he had abandoned Tony. He had promised Spence he would watch out for Tony and he couldn't help but feel he had failed both men.

A night of working on the boat and downing bourbon after bourbon was not a smart substitute for a good night's rest. Gibbs could not rest. He could not stop thinking about Tony and Spence.

Tony had seemed decisive. He said he would handle things and get back to Gibbs. Gibbs needed to honor that request. It was the look on Tony's face that got to Gibbs. That little boy lost look. Gibbs would only admit it to himself but Tony's vulnerability was one of the things he found most attractive about Tony.

Tony was physically very attractive. No one could deny that. Gibbs was not immune to that aspect of Anthony DiNozzo. But it was really Tony's heart, his inner beauty that appealed to Gibbs. Tony's empathy, his intelligence, his wit-though at times infuriating-made Gibbs laugh and really brightened his days. Tony was loyal and brave and dependable.

Someone, most likely his father, had broken Tony at a very young age. Yet Tony had emerged from childhood trauma a highly capable and loving human being. That was to Tony's credit. Gibbs knew when they first met that Tony was searching for someone to believe in him. Tony's ability to handle Gibbs moods and call him on his shit made Tony invaluable to Gibbs. They had the perfect working partnership.

Gibbs thought back to the night Tony made his move. The kid had guts even if he was drunk.

When Tony had confessed to Gibbs he was in love with him, Gibbs felt a rush of desire he tried to extinguish. He remembered the fear in Tony's face as Tony pulled back after he had leaned in and gently kissed Gibbs on the lips. Gibbs remembered being shocked but he choose not to speak. Instead he leaned towards Tony and rewarded Tony with a tender kiss of his own.

That one simple kiss washed over Tony and his fear vanished. He placed his hand behind Gibbs neck and pulled Gibbs in for a deep exploratory kiss. Gibbs battled Tony's tongue for dominance as they fumbled like teenagers on a first date. Fingers ran through strands of hair, hands explored hard muscles. Tony moved to lie down on the couch pulling Gibbs hard body down to cover his own. Each man's arousal was evident as Tony gasped feeling Gibbs hard cock pushing down against his own.

That gasp snapped Gibbs back to reality. He had to stop this. He was Tony's boss. He couldn't jeopardize their working relationship.

He stood up abruptly saying "NO! We can't. I can't do this Tony. I'm your boss!"

Tony just lay on the couch looking up at Gibbs. Tony's eyes clouded in disbelief as he yelled:

"I know you want me as much as I want you! Don't shut the door on something that could be really fantastic!"

"_God, Tony was so erotically beautiful in that one moment. Eyes filled with an equal mix of wanton lust, hope and desire and I destroyed it!" he thought _

Tony had broken down and cried for their lost moment.

Gibbs shook his head trying to clear that image from his mind.

He often wondered if he had just allowed the moment to play out how his life and Tony's might be different.

He shelved his feelings as he pulled into his parking space. He would give Tony a few days but if he didn't hear from him soon he didn't think he could stay away.

Gibbs knew he wanted Tony and he would not throw away another opportunity if it might present itself.

Gibbs would give Tony time to grieve. He would pay Spence and Tony's relationship the respect it deserved. Gibbs would look for an opportunity to tell Tony the truth of his feelings for him. If the opportunity didn't arise on its own, Gibbs knew that when the time was right he would do what he needed to do to make Tony his own. He just hoped he still had a chance. He hoped Tony wouldn't reject him and the way Gibbs had hurt Tony in that one moment may have destroyed any romantic future the two of them might share.

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs got out of his car and headed into the office. His coffee had grown cold but it didn't matter. He slammed it down as he walked. He crushed the empty cup in frustration.

Waiting for the next few days to pass was going to be agonizing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Devotion Chapter Ten**

Tony and Abby had breakfast together and then Tony went up to take a quick shower.

He knew he would break down if he showered in the master bath so he used the guest bathroom instead. He had way too many memories of time spent with Spence in the shower of their master bath. He needed to stay together to get through the day.

He dried off and dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a one of Spence's USMC T-shirts. He was barefoot as he walked down the stairs. He walked into the living room and found Abby coming in from outside. She had left her bag in her hearse and had gone to retrieve it.

"Showers open, Abs" he said

She walked past him and ruffled his damp hair.

"I won't be very long."

"Take your time, Abby. I'm going to read the paper."

She headed upstairs and he grabbed the newspaper off the couch and headed into the kitchen. He poured himself another cup of coffee. He was just stirring in the hazelnut creamer when the home phone rang.

Tony looked at the clock. It was just 7:30 am. He wondered who would be calling so early. When he answered he was surprised it was his friend and frat brother Steve Adler.

"Tony! I just heard about Spence. I wanted to see if you are okay and if you needed anything!"

"Thanks, Steve. I'm okay" he lied "Um, how did you find out about Spence?"

Steve Adler had moved back to Ohio over a year ago and Tony doubted Spence's death would have been covered locally.

Steve was quiet for a minute and said "It's all over the news, Tony. ZNN has been running the story continually."

"What?! Why?" Tony stood up and walked into the living room.

He grabbed the remote and pointed it to the flat screen TV over the fireplace. With the remote set to mute he clicked through various stations while listening to Steve explain.

"ZNN reported members of Los Muertos M C tried to kill Spence's partner last night in retaliation for killing one of them."

Tony froze in place.

"Joe Alvarez? No way! Is he dead, Steve?!"

"No Tony, he isn't dead but they did wound him. ZNN reported he is at Bethesda."

"That's where the dirt bag that shot Spence is!"

"I know. ZNN also reported Los Muertos tried to rescue him from the hospital. There was a shootout and two gang members, including the one who shot Spence, were killed."

"There was a shootout at the hospital! Christ!" Tony yelled in disbelief.

He finally had ZNN on screen.

There was a reporter standing in front of Bethesda Hospital and there were several cop cars behind her, lights flashing in the darkness. This had all happened over the last twelve hours. It was hard to grasp.

Before Tony turned up the volume he said "Thanks for calling Steve but I have to go!"

"Okay Tony but please, please do not hesitate to call me if you need me. I will be on the first flight I can get!"

That warmed Tony's heart. Steve Adler was more than just a fraternity brother. He was the closest thing to a real brother Tony had. Steve had bestowed Tony with the nickname "sex machine" during their frat days at Ohio State. Steve was the only one who knew that Tony was bisexual. Steve was straight and did not have a homophobic bone in his body. Tony knew Steve loved him. Steve was one of the few people in Tony's life he could count on without question.

Tony sat back on the couch and just stared at the TV. The reporter was giving a recap of the early morning events. Tony was relieved that Spence's killer was dead but he was worried about Joe. He picked up the phone and called Bethesda. The lines were busy so he called a friend of Spence's at the Police Station.

Lt. Hal Murray picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Hal…its Tony DiNozzo. I was calling to see how Joe Alvarez is doing?"

"Tony!" Hal seemed happy to hear from him but then Hal's voice got very serious.

"Joe is in critical condition. Those motherfuckers shot him when he was leaving for the night. Shot him right out in the open as he was heading to his car. Brazen fucks! Docs at Bethesda say Joe should recover. We have a protection team on him. Make sure you take your badge if you go to see him. I'll make sure your name is on the list."

"Thanks Hal" Tony replied

Hal then said quietly "I'm sorry about Spence, Tony. We got the autopsy results back if you want to know the final report."

Tony took a deep breath, stood up and said "Yes, I would like to know."

"The M.E. confirmed the bullet hit the axillary artery under the right arm pit. Spence didn't have a chance even if he had immediate care. "

Tony closed his eyes and he felt his throat constrict. He fought down the bile that wanted to rush up from his stomach. He cleared his throat and said:

"Thanks Hal. I will call back today with instructions on what mortuary to have Spence moved too."

Hal didn't respond so Tony wondered if he was still on the line.

"Hal?"

"Tony, Linda submitted instructions to claim Spence's body last night. His body is being transported to Virginia this morning at 10 am. She has plans to have him buried on his family's estate."

Tony could not speak. The shock of what Hal had just told him was just too much. Hal's words just looped repeatedly in his brain. Things were happening all around him but he had no ability to respond.

He could hear Hal calling his name and he could hear Abby asking him what was wrong. He felt Abby take the phone from his hand and he heard her speaking to someone.

He heard Abby scream "THAT FUCKING BITCH!"

He heard Abby say thank you and good bye. He felt her hands on his shoulders and he obeyed her command to sit down. He felt the comfort of the couch beneath him.

He heard Abby cussing and crying but he wasn't sure who she was directing her anger towards. Surly it couldn't be him, could it? His mind wandered and he wondered what he might have done to incur her wrath.

Abby was suddenly sitting in front of him. He could see her lips moving and she looked scared and concerned. He felt her hands cradling his face as her eyes darted back and forth seeking some kind of reaction from him. He was conscious of what she was doing but did not let it concern him. He looked past her and focused on the roses on the piano. He zeroed in on that one blood red rose and shut down.

He heard Abby scream "FUCK!"

She was silent for a few minutes and then he heard her panicked voice pleading:

"GIBBS! I need you to come to Tony's house…..NOW!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Devotion Chapter Eleven**

Gibbs walked into an empty bullpen. Kate and McGee were temporarily assigned to Balboa's team due to the change at yesterday's crime scene. They could not break the chain of evidence so Gibbs team, at least part of his team, had to remain.

Gibbs checked his phone messages and spoke briefly with the Director. He knew Abby was going to be with Tony today so he relaxed knowing Tony was not alone. He made a quick trip to the coffee kiosk and then worked on the load of paper work he always seemed to accumulate.

He would be doing the tedious requisition forms Tony usually did for at least the next two weeks.

He hated paperwork. One nice thing about being the boss was the power of delegation. Unfortunately for Gibbs, the paperwork Tony did was at SFA level or higher. Gibbs had not had to do SFA work in years. Another reason Tony was invaluable to him. He hoped Tony was doing okay.

He had just taken a sip of coffee and was rubbing his tired eyes when he heard the familiar "ding" of the elevator. He looked up to see Ducky exit and head his way. Ducky looked tired and Gibbs noticed he had his coat on and his hat in his hand. Gibbs could tell Ducky was not arriving for the day but was just about to leave.

"Been here all night, Duck?"

"I have indeed, Jethro. Thankfully Gerald and I were able to complete the four young men who were shot execution style. The other two fellows will take a while longer I'm afraid. I am on my way home for a bit of rest."

Gibbs smiled at his friend and said "You look like you need it Duck."

"You look like you could use some rest as well, Jethro. I wanted to check with you and see how Anthony is faring?"

Gibbs was about to respond when his cell phone rang.

"Abby" he said aloud so Ducky would know

Gibbs felt his gut begin to stir as he answered the phone.

"Hey Abs" he greeted her.

He was not quite prepared to hear the panic in her voice.

"GIBBS! I need you to come to Tony's house…NOW!"

Gibbs stood up quickly saying "What's wrong Abby?!"

"It's Tony, Gibbs! I...I..I don't know what's wrong with him! He seems to be in shock and he is not responding to me!"

Ducky looked very concerned so Gibbs put the call on speaker.

"Was he like that when you got there this morning?" Gibbs inquired

"No, it just happened. I have actually been here since late last night. We had a few drinks and I spent the night with him."

Gibbs was surprised at that revelation and a bit hurt. He shrugged those feeling off as Abby continued

"He seemed to be doing okay but then he found out what Linda did and…"

Gibbs gut exploded at the mention of Linda.

"Hang on Abby. I will be right over…"

"I will accompany you, Jethro" Ducky volunteered

"Ducky and I will be right there Abby. Don't panic. Just keep an eye on Tony."

"Okay…but hurry Gibbs!"

Gibbs drove like a bat out of hell and he was happy to see that Dr. Mallard had kept up. The two men arrived at Tony's house at the same time.

Abby met them at the door. Her face was flushed and her eyes were red and puffy. She led them to Tony.

"He hasn't moved" she said softly "He has just been staring at those roses on the piano."

Tony was sitting on the couch. His body was stiff and unmoving. He was staring towards the piano. The only movement they could see was the slow rise and fall of Tony's chest and the occasional blink of his eyes.

Gibbs decided to defer to Ducky.

Ducky moved in front of Tony and sat on the coffee table facing him.

"Oh, my dear boy" he said soothingly "Let me take a look at you."

Ducky reached out and took ahold of Tony's wrist. Gibbs and Abby knew Ducky was checking Tony's pulse so they remained quiet. Tony didn't move.

Ducky frowned. He then raised his right hand and waved it in front of Tony's face. Tony did not respond.

"Anthony?" Ducky said quietly

No response

"Look at me Tony!" Ducky said forcefully

No response.

Ducky looked closely at Tony's eyes and found them to be dilated.

"Hmmm" Ducky said as he sat back

"What's wrong with him Ducky?" Abby asked fearfully

She had beaten Gibbs to that question.

Gibbs could tell Abby was stressed so he pulled her close as they watched Ducky examine Tony.

"Tell us what transpired up to the point Anthony stopped responding to you, Abigail."

"Well, Tony was up early this morning and he went for a run. He stopped and got that bouquet of roses for Spence. We had coffee and breakfast and he took a shower and said he was going to read the paper. I went up to shower and when I came down a few minutes later he was just standing here holding the phone. I could hear someone on the line calling Tony's name. I had to pry the phone out of his hand Ducky!"

"Go on, Abs" Gibbs encouraged her

"The man on the phone was a friend of Spence's from the police station. He told Tony that Linda put in a claim for Spence's body last night. She is having him moved this morning at 10 am to Virginia to be buried at the family plot!"

Abby pulled away from Gibbs and yelled "Tony told me what happened last night Gibbs. He told me he was angry that Linda told YOU she would call YOU this morning. She didn't contact you did she?"

"I haven't talked to her since yesterday afternoon, Abs." Gibbs confirmed solemnly

Gibbs could tell Abby was getting furious. He fought the urge to join her.

"So she has chosen to completely disregard Tony and his feelings!"

She pulled away from Gibbs and headed towards the front door.

"I need some air!" She yelled as she opened the door, stepped outside and slammed the door behind her.

"What do you think Duck?" Gibbs asked as Ducky stood up and the men moved a few steps away from Tony.

"Tony looks sedate but his heart beat is racing. His pupils are dilated, which can occur with any type of anxiety but are most common during periods of intense anxiety."

"Like PTSD or panic attacks?"

"Precisely" Ducky confirmed then continued

"Spence's violent, untimely death and then the brutal disregard of Tony's love for him may have been too much. I think Tony is just disassociating."

"Disassociating?" Gibbs looked at Tony and frowned

"Yes, Jethro. Disassociating is somewhat akin to an out of body or out of mind experience. There is simply too much stress for the mind to handle. A bipolar response would be - to get angry, manic, or anxious or depressed…."

"DiNozzo is not bipolar Duck! Hell, anyone would respond to the news Tony just got with anger!"

"True, but in some people the mind reacts by bolting from the scene."

Gibbs took a few minutes to think about what Ducky had said. He sat down across from Tony and looking at Ducky said:

"Give me a couple of minutes with him Duck."

Ducky nodded and said "I will go check on Abby."

When Gibbs and Tony were alone Gibbs said:

"Okay DiNozzo, enough is enough! You have our attention!"

No response.

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs yelled

No response.

"Dammit Tony!" Gibbs said giving Tony a light head slap

Tony blinked but he still did not respond.

A feeling of fear seeped in to Gibbs mind when Tony did not respond to the head slap. He thought that one act would work if all else failed. He wasn't sure how to proceed. It seemed too early but Gibbs wondered if the opportunity he was waiting for had arrived.

Gibbs reached out and cradled Tony's face in his hands.

Speaking quietly he said "Tony, you need to snap out of this. Talk to me, Tony…Please!"

Gibbs didn't know what it was exactly that made Tony's eyes shift to his own.

If Tony could tell him it was that Gibbs had said please.

Gibbs kept his grip on Tony's face and the two men just stared at each other.

Gibbs could see the empty, haunted look that Tony's eyes had held begin to fade as the light of recognition set in.

A single tear ran down Tony's cheek as he said "Spence is dead, Gibbs."

It was said as a simple statement of absolute truth.

Gibbs used his thumb to wipe away Tony's tear. He then released Tony's face but never losing eye contact; Gibbs sat back and confirmed "Yes Tony. Spence is dead."

A few minutes of silence passed between them until Tony spoke.

"Why?" Tony asked with barely a whisper

Gibbs refrained from saying the cliché _"Perhaps it was just Spence's time"._ He always thought that statement was bullshit. He could see the need to understand in Tony's eyes but Gibbs did not have an answer.

"I don't know, Tony."

Tony looked away from Gibbs, shaking his head from side to side as he leaned back against the couch; he placed his hands on his knees.

He looked up at Gibbs and said "I can't do this anymore. "

The hurt in Tony's beautiful green eyes took Gibbs breath away. Gibbs was almost afraid to ask.

"What? What can't you do Tony?"

"Love someone..."

Gibbs closed his eyes and tried to fight his immediate emotional reaction. He opened his eyes and found Tony had hung his head and was staring at his hands. Gibbs reached out with his right hand. He wanted to touch Tony and tell him….

The moment was broken when Abby and Ducky entered the room.

"TONY!" Abby squealed as Gibbs dropped his arm, his eyes to the floor.

Tony looked her way and wiping his eyes said softly "Hey Abs."

She flopped down on the couch next to him and threw her arms around him saying:

"God, Tony, you scared the hell out of me!"

He held her tight as he watched Gibbs get up from the coffee table.

Gibbs stopped when he got to the piano. That's when Tony noticed Gibbs was not alone.

"Ducky?" Tony said, noticing Ducky for the first time "What are you doing here?"

"Just checking up on you, my boy. I am so sorry about Spence, Tony. How are you feeling?"

"Thanks, Ducky. I'm fine" Tony said automatically hugging Abby closer.

"Right" Ducky said looking at Gibbs. Ducky noticed a deep sadness in Gibbs that had not been there before.

Ducky looked back at Tony and said "Since all seems fine I will take my leave." Ducky gathered up his coat and hat and turning towards Gibbs said "Would you walk me out, Jethro?"

"Sure Duck" Gibbs replied following Ducky to the door.

Ducky just waved when Tony and Abby called after him saying in unison "Thanks Ducky!"

Abby was giggling at something Tony said as Gibbs closed the front door and walked with Ducky towards his car.

"Thanks for coming with me Duck." Gibbs told his old friend as Ducky unlocked his door.

Ducky ignored Gibbs comment saying:

"You know Jethro, Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, suggested that mourners pass through five stages of grief-denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance."

"I've heard that Duck." Gibbs brows furrowed wondering what Ducky was getting at.

"Where do you think Anthony is at this moment?"

"Gee Duck; you're the doctor…since Spence was literally killed less than 36 hours ago you tell me?"

Ducky frowned at Gibbs.

Gibbs relented and said "I think Tony finally grasps Spence is really dead."

"Then denial is vanquished."

"So now what?" Gibbs asked

"That depends on what Tony does now. Does he want to confront Linda for not consulting him before she decided to have Spence's body moved without his knowledge?"

"I don't know?" Gibbs said. He remained silent as to the words he would like to shower on Linda if given the opportunity.

"I suggest you find out, Jethro." Ducky said patting Gibbs shoulder with affection

"I also suggest you allow Anthony time to work through the other stages I mentioned. Grief and loss are different for us all but telling the young man you are in love with him right now would be too soon."

Gibbs jaw dropped as he yelled "WHAT!?"

The shock on Gibbs face brought forth a deep chuckle from the M.E.

"Abigail confided in me that Tony disclosed he professed his love for you well over two years ago. It is very admirable that you loved the boy enough to find him a suitable replacement since you could not allow yourself happiness and denied Tony what he desired."

"Ducky!" Gibbs growled in anger "What in the hell are you…"

"Tsk tsk, Jethro, who is in denial now?"

Gibbs face paled and he looked down, ashamed.

"Do not fret my dear friend. Time heals all. Be there for him and be easy on yourself. You have suffered a deep loss as well, Jethro."

Gibbs smirked at Ducky and said "Thanks for kicking my ass Duck."

Dr. Donald Mallard got a mischievous twinkle in his eye and gave Gibbs a knowing smile as he got behind the wheel of his Morgan.

He waved to Gibbs as he headed home, happy to see the heavy sadness gone from Gibbs face.

He did not share with Gibbs that he was leaving Tony's home twenty dollars shy.

Abby always collected on a bet.

**A/N-Would love to get some more feedback on this story. I am very pleased I have so many readers and am forever thankful to those who comment. In fact, just to see how many people will actually comment, I pose this challenge. Using 20 words or less tell me why you love the Gibbs/Tony slash dynamic. Sorry there is no prize for your participation, although I will send you a cyber red rose as a parting gift. **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N-As promised a cyber-rose to all who participated in the challenge! I loved all the comments and agree with everyone. I will say my personal favorite is: They are the alpha and the omega... the yin & the yang... the bow and the arrow... they are what love should be: passionate. (Thank you Classical E. Centric for your quote). I like this because it sums up my feelings of Gibbs and Tony as well. Even though they are fictional who wouldn't want to have someone who loves you unconditionally, has your best interests at heart and watches your back! Of course, it doesn't hurt that they are absolutely yummy. Thanks again to everyone…your comments are awesome and so greatly appreciated! Hope you continue to enjoy this story…there will be more sorrow before ultimate joy!**

**Devotion Chapter Twelve**

"Oh my God, Abby! What the hell happened that Gibbs and Ducky ended up here!?" Tony asked trying to keep the panic from his voice. Gibbs had just walked Ducky out to his car.

"It was like you were in a trance, Tony, like you were catatonic! Do you know what made you snap out of it?"

Tony thought for a few minutes.

"I remember Gibbs saying please…and then I saw him in front of me."

"What else do you remember?" Abby asked tentatively

Tony bolted upright and said "I remember Hal saying Linda arranged to bury Spence's body…..without me!"

"Damn her, Abby! She didn't even have the decency to ask for my input." He cried

"Do you want to go duke it out with her?" she asked excitedly

"Yes! I think I do!" he said with conviction

"Well then, finish getting dressed and let's go." Gibbs said from the doorway.

He had walked back in and caught the tail end of their conversation.

While Abby went to get dressed, Tony grabbed a pair of socks and put on his tennis shoes. Gibbs had grabbed a mug of coffee from the kitchen and sat on the piano bench watching Tony. When Tony finished lacing his shoes he looked at Gibbs and said "Thanks again from being here boss."

Gibbs nodded in reply and said "Did you find anything in Spence's papers that gave you a clue as to how he wanted to be buried?"

"No. I didn't find anything except some old documents giving Linda control over his remains." Tony choked on the word "remains". Abby had just come down the stairs and Tony shot her a glare. Gibbs was looking at the photo of Spence and Tony on the piano so he did not see their visual exchange. With one look, Abby got the message from Tony to stay quiet about anything else regarding Spence's estate.

She understood and gave him a shy smile.

"No use in bringing that document with us then, Tony. Without legal papers to stop her we are going to be at her mercy. I've known Linda a long time. Maybe I can talk some sense into her."

Gibbs looked at his watch. It was almost 9:30 am. Gibbs pulled out his phone and called Linda. It went to voice mail. He hung up without leaving a message. He looked at Tony and said:

"We will be too late if we drive to the station. Linda may not be there anyway. Chances are she is going to be at the Spencer Estate. Do you want to drive out there?"

Tony hesitated. He had only been to Spence's family estate once and it had been ugly. Spence was the eldest of four brothers. Their mother had died young so the four boys had been raised mainly by their Grandmother. Their Father lived under the same roof but was a distant parent. He was interested in maintaining the family name and income. He had passed away a year ago and the estate was currently maintained by Spence's brother, William. Tony really didn't know Spence's brothers but he did know that Spence and William did not get along. The two men had a blow out when Spence brought Tony home to meet his family. There was screaming and name calling and grandstanding that verged on violence.

It was so awful and awkward, Tony and Spence left within 30 minutes. In that short time, Tony had met William and Spence's two younger brothers, James and John Jr. They were not as rude as William but their indifference was apparent. At least they met Tony. Spence's father was at the estate but refused to even attend their visit.

Spence's father, John Spencer, hated that his son had chosen to be a marine and then a cop. Much like Tony's background, Spence was raised in affluence and chose a profession that was deemed unbecoming-"too blue collar" is what both their Father's said.

Add a divorce, due to his son being gay, and John Spencer never spoke to Spence again. He had no use for Spence let alone Spence's "partner".

"We can give it a shot, Boss, but last time I was there things were less than welcoming."

Gibbs thought a moment. He knew Spence's family better than Tony. He knew the family would rally around Linda and her sons, leaving Tony out altogether. But, he would do his best to fight for Tony and for Spence.

"What is it that you want from all of this Tony? Are you okay with Spence being buried with his family?"

"I think Spence would be pleased to be with his Mom and Grandmother. I would like the opportunity to be at the funeral and would just like to have the ability to visit his grave periodically and bring him flowers." He answered quietly.

"I think that is very reasonable." Gibbs agreed

"Let's go make it happen!" Abby said exuberantly

Her optimism was wonderful but Gibbs felt she may be giving Tony false hope.

They took Gibbs Challenger. It would take them about an hour to get there. The three of them drove in silence all wondering what they would soon be facing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Linda Marshall Spencer was heartbroken when she heard Spence was killed. Her boys had lost their father and she had lost the only man she truly loved.

It took her only ninety minutes to realize what a wonderful opportunity arose in his early demise.

Her crocodile tears evaporated into a smile when she realized she could milk the role of "grieving widow." She made the appropriate calls and found out she was main beneficiary to Spence's life insurance, police pension, and military pension and there would probably be a nice death benefit since Spence was cut down on the job. She even saved with funeral expenses having Spence buried in the family plot. Linda had always gotten along with William Spencer and he was more than happy to assist her in bringing his brother, Riley, home. William may not have approved of his brother's lifestyle, feeling he was wayward and misguided, but they were blood and Riley belonged with his family.

Though Spence and Linda had been divorced for years, Spence's family and most of their mutual friends did not know the whole picture. Linda was still madly in love with Spence. It wasn't her fault Spence "turned gay" and didn't want to be married to her anymore.

She knew Spence would not have set anything in writing to help his boy toy. Linda had practically had to hold a gun to Spence's head to have him sign a last will and testament or get life insurance and death benefits filled out for her and the kids. She stayed on top of the legal game. She had to. She had a lot to lose and since she didn't have much to her name she would make sure if something happened to Spence she and their boys would be taken care of. Linda had even stayed up hours after Gibbs had called her with the news of Spence's death searching property records. She was pleased to find the bungalow Spence had purchased a few years ago was solely in his name. That meant she and the kids would inherit. She would delight in taking the boy toy's, whatever his name is, home right out from under him.

"_Serves that bastard right for stealing Spence away!"_ she thought as she perused County property records.

She remembered the night she first met, Tony something or other. Spence had said his name but Linda didn't care. She figured he would be gone within the month. That seemed to be Spence's record. Linda was patient and waited for Spence to be alone again. She always regrouped and made another move to reunite them. But this Tony didn't leave. He stayed and Spence seemed like a man reborn.

Linda hated this boy toy with every bit she could muster. He was a home wrecker and he was going to pay for that transgression. She would make sure of that, if it was the last thing she ever did.

She chuckled to herself at how cliché those thoughts were. Too bad this boy toy didn't have a bunny she could boil. She laughed out loud at that.

Feeling secure in what she could get away with she made the call and arranged for Spence's body to be transferred to the family estate. She would be there with her sons to welcome their father home. Linda had decided to forgo a funeral and would allow the Police Department to honor him since he had fallen in the line of duty. She had even begun to think about what she would wear to the ceremony. She had to look her best when they folded up the American Flag and presented it to her as she stood there stoically, behind dark sunglasses with dignity and contained grief.

She opened a new window on her lap top and Googled, Jackie Kennedy, images. She scrolled through the various pictures of Jackie O. at the funerals of her husband and his brother.

"_1960's grief chic it is!"_

She made a note to check out some vintage stores to hunt for the proper attire.


	13. Chapter 13

**Devotion Chapter Thirteen**

As luck would have it, the hearse bearing Spence's casket was pulling onto the estate grounds as Gibbs whipped the Challenger down the last portion of highway. He slowed his vehicle as he followed the hearse onto the property.

He noticed the estate was now surrounded by a high fence and there was an intercom right before the front gate. These were new. Gibbs had accompanied Spence to the estate about five years ago and at that time there had only been hedges and a very welcoming driveway to the main house. Gibbs wondered if William had these new features installed after Spence's father died.

The two-story, red brick, Georgian Style mansion was directly ahead but the hearse took the fork to the left towards the separate building behind the main house. Gibbs knew the family cemetery was back there and to the far left of the property. The cemetery could actually be seen from the highway.

Gibbs proceeded up the drive to the main house.

"Whoa!" Abby had leaned forward from the backseat and was admiring the stately home in front of them.

"Spence never said he came from money!" She said in wide eyed shock.

"Spence never really cared too much for money." Gibbs said as Tony shook his head in agreement.

"He also wasn't impressed by family name or lineage." Tony added

He turned towards Abby and said "Spence ever tell you they are related to the British Spencer's?"

"You mean as in Lady Diana Spencer?" She asked with a raised eyebrow

"Yep…somehow they are cousins so many times removed. I was impressed but Spence couldn't care less. It was his brother, William, who actually told me about the family connection when I met him two years ago. We didn't talk for very long but he made sure to throw that information around. I remember Spence told him to "Can it! No one gives a shit we have some connection to some British royals. Our family came here to escape that oppressive bullshit."

Gibbs chuckled, saying "That sounds like Spence."

Tony laughed at the memory and added "William turned beet red when Spence said that. God, the dude was pissed at Spence. We left shortly after that."

The three companions were silent for a few minutes.

Turning to Gibbs, Tony said "Boss, I don't think this visit is going to end well."

Gibbs said nothing but his gut was churning. He had a feeling Tony was right.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs maneuvered the Challenger around the circular drive, parking next to a large fountain displayed prominently in front of the house. The three of them got out and headed for the front door. Tony spied Linda's Navy Blue BMW amongst several other cars. At least he knew for a fact she was here.

Tony's stomach felt queasy and he was happy Gibbs and Abby were with him for moral support.

Gibbs rang the doorbell and after several minutes the door was answered by Spence's brother James.

He was a much younger version of Spence with the same sandy blood hair and muscular build. The only difference was where Spence's eyes were blue, James' eyes were hazel.

"Gibbs?!" James said, looking surprised but happy to see Spence's old friend. Gibbs stuck out his hand towards James and as the men shook hands Gibbs said "Sorry about Spence, Jimmy. You have met Tony right?" Gibbs nodded towards Tony who was standing to his right.

"Of course!" James said putting his hand out to greet Tony. Tony shook hands with James hoping things may turn out okay after all. Tony was trying to think of something to say when James said:

"Who is this?" he said staring at Abby. His interest in her was obvious.

"Abby Scuito, James Spencer" Gibbs said introducing the two "James is Spence's younger brother."

Abby grasped James hand and smiled.

"I see the resemblance. Sorry about Spence, James."

"Thank you, Abby. Call me Jimmy, please." He said opening the door wider so the three of them could enter the house.

They entered a large black and white tiled foyer that had a staircase to the left that curved up towards the second floor. A round marble table was off to the right. There were several bouquets and flower arrangements sitting on the table. Tony noted the sentiments of sympathy had begun to flow for the family. He couldn't help but feel a bit left out.

James guided them through the foyer, past a large separate dining room into the great room in the back. Gibbs noted the house had been remodeled. Where there had been a separate sitting room and a separate kitchen, walls had been knocked down opening up the space giving it a more modern, inviting atmosphere.

The television was on and there were two young men sitting on the couch, eating bowls of cereal while watching some kind of animated show.

When James said "Jake, Sam" the boys heads turned towards them.

Gibbs was Godfather to Jacob and Samuel Spencer but he had not seen them since they were little boys. They were in their twenties now. Tony and Abby had never met them.

Turning towards Abby, James introduced them.

"Abby, these are my nephews, Jake and Sam. Riley's kids."

Abby waved and said "Hello."

"Hi, hello" they responded without much enthusiasm.

Gibbs could tell James was angry with the boys as he said "You remember, Gibbs? YOUR Godfather?"

The boys looked at each other and then at Gibbs. Gibbs felt bad for them so he said:

"I haven't seen you boys in years."

An uncomfortable silence settled around them.

"And this is Tony." James stated.

That got their attention. Setting their bowls on the coffee table in front of them, they stood, united.

"Dad's Tony?" Sam said venomously

Tony hesitated for only a second and then said with conviction "Yes."

Jake Spencer looked like he was about to blow a gasket. Tony realized neither of Spence's sons favored him in either looks or disposition. They were definitely their Mother's sons.

"You have some fucking nerve coming here!" Jake said his fists clenched.

"HEY!" James yelled "Show some respect!"

"FUCK THAT!" Jake said as he stormed towards the back door. His brother Sam obediently following.

Tony could see the brothers were furious simply through their body language. He had a clear view of them through the large bay window that looked out from the great room into the back yard. He could see they were engaged in a heated conversation out near the swimming pool. They were yelling back and forth and then looking back at the house. Tony felt sick. He didn't blame the kids. They had probably been conditioned by their mother to hate. Tony felt for them. Spence's sons had missed out getting to really know their dad and now it was too late.

"Sorry about that Tony." James said with sincerity.

He then added sarcastically "Their Mother has done a bang up job in raising those two."

Gibbs could see the hurt in Tony's eyes but Gibbs found a possible ally in James so he said "We came here to talk to Linda, Jimmy. We wanted to know why she didn't confer with Tony regarding Spence's last wishes and…"

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence when a cold voice was heard behind them.

"That's because it is none of Tony's fucking business!"

They turned towards the foyer and noticed Linda standing there, her sons flanked in position behind her.

She looked like she had been working out in the garden. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and the knees of her Capri pants were dirty. She had smudges on her face and she held gloves in one hand and a pair of gardening shears in the other.

Gibbs noticed time had not been kind to Linda. The phrase "Ridden hard and put away wet" came to mind.

"What are you doing here?" Linda asked glancing between Tony and Gibbs "You have no right or no business interrupting a family's time of grief."

Abby couldn't contain herself.

"You fucking cold hearted bitch." She said with a deadly calm

_SHIT!_

Tony appreciated Abby defending him but he knew she had just lit a very short fuse and that fuse was burning quickly towards a powder keg.

Tony took the initiative and stepped forward. He tried to retain his dignity and appear not to grovel as he said:

"Linda, I think Spence would like to be buried with his Mom and his Grandmother. I don't object to that. I would just like to be able to attend his funeral and maybe visit his grave, bring him flowers, pay my respects…"

Linda's smile was cold. She set down her gloves and the pruning shears as she looked at Abby. She completely ignored Tony and what he had just said.

"A cold hearted bitch? Is that what you said?"

"Uh, yeah," Abby added dripping with sarcasm "Are you a hard of hearing bitch as well?"

Gibbs watched as Tony closed his eyes and lowered his head. James Spencer snorted in laughter at Abby's comment. Linda was about to explode as Gibbs tried desperately to defuse the situation.

Gibbs turned to Abby and said "ENOUGH! You are not helping this situation Abs!"

Abby frowned at Gibbs but kept quiet.

Gibbs turned to James and said "Jimmy would you give Abby a tour of your estate? She is very interested in the royal family connection."

James Spencer was sad to miss the fireworks about to go off but he understood what Gibbs was trying to do. He offered Abby his arm. She hooked her arm with his and he guided her towards the back door. They could hear him saying "This house was built in 1740…." just before the door closed and Abby looked back at Linda and gave her a death glare.

"Can we talk, alone?" Gibbs said to Linda.

Linda nodded in agreement towards Gibbs and then turned to her sons and dismissed them. They reluctantly went up the stairs to the second floor. If looks could kill, the looks they gave Tony would have him dead and rotting in the ground.

"Why don't we take a seat?" Gibbs proposed.

The three of them moved to sit at the kitchen table. Not looking at Tony, Linda said "I will talk to YOU ALONE, Gibbs."

Tony had just began to pull a chair out when her words crashed over him. He realized she would not be acknowledging him anytime soon so looking at Gibbs he said quietly. "I'll be outside."

Tony noticed Gibbs eyes held deep regret for him. He also knew that if anyone could salvage this situation it would be Gibbs. He resigned his position to that of outcast and walked out the front door.

He could see Abby and James walking off to the right of the property. Tony thought that was where the stables were. He remembered the cemetery was to the left. He decided to head that way and see Spence's final resting place. He knew it may be the only time he would get too.

He walked the quarter mile towards the cemetery. There was an old growth of trees in this area of the Spencer land. Beyond them was nestled a peaceful old family cemetery with a large mausoleum and several graves scattered around. Tony saw the hearse had parked near the mausoleum. He could just make out Spence's Brother, William, directing a couple of men as they removed the casket and carried it towards the open door of the mausoleum.

William and the two men disappeared into the marble building. William came back into view and Tony saw him get into a vehicle and drive away. William was heading in the opposite direction further behind the estate. Tony couldn't believe his eyes. Were strangers just going to place Spence in the crypt without a proper send off? How could they do that? He started running towards the mausoleum, all rational thought escaping him.

He needed to get to Spence to make sure he wasn't alone. He fought to bring air into his lungs as sobs of grief tried to take over. He had just made it to the entrance of the mausoleum when he thought he heard Abby call his name. Ignoring her he stepped into the marble building.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Abby and James were just heading towards the cemetery, walking on the road behind the estate, when a vehicle passed them. James waved as his brother William drove by. William ignored them both.

"My brother, William." James informed Abby with a heavy sigh.

"Not close, huh?" Abby observed

"Nope. I'm only here because of Spence. I live in New York City. Came in on the red eye early this morning. Jake and Sam picked me up. They are good kids when their mom isn't around. Linda has fucked them up. I hate this place Abby. Spence and I shared that in common."

Abby could tell James Spencer was hurting but Tony was her priority.

"Linda has hurt Tony deeply, Jimmy. I should have kept my mouth shut but Tony won't defend himself the way he should when it comes to her. He respects Spence's kids so he feels he must respect their mother. I would like to slap that smug cold smile right off her face!"

Jimmy laughed loudly at that remark.

"You know, Abby, I'd pay good money to see you do that!"

They were sharing a laugh when Abby noticed Tony running towards the mausoleum in the cemetery.

She instantly panicked and called out to him "TONY!"

He disappeared into the crypt.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carl Dixon and Matt Carver had been employed by the Spencer family for just over a year. The two men had both served time in prison for a variety of petty offenses. They had tried to stay on the right side of the law by legally selling their "services". These services encompassed the maintenance and caretaking of the grounds, the stables and the cemetery. The two friends lived on property and were invaluable to William Spencer when he needed a bodyguard or some intimidating thugs to seal a business deal.

Their job today was distasteful to them but they were getting paid a bonus. They were joking around and laughing so they didn't notice when Tony entered the building. Tony watched them from the shadows. Tony could tell the men were freaked out a bit working in a crypt and handling a casket. He got it. He knew his comments at the most hideous of crime scenes could be insensitive and inappropriate. Gallows humor is what got him and the team through a lot of the gruesome shit they saw, sometimes on a daily basis.

This was different to Tony. This was his family, his Spence, and nobody was going to disrespect Spence if he had a say in it.

Tony assessed the men were in their forties and they had that hard "inmate" look he had seen in so many ex-cons. Both men were well over 6 feet tall and had a prison yard physique. Tony waited and observed.

He could see a space had been opened in the wall of the mausoleum. Tony cringed inwardly thinking about Spence's body being shoved into that open space to be sealed up in darkness for eternity. He knew his thoughts weren't rational but he couldn't bring himself to really care.

"This place really creeps me out, Dix!"

"I hear ya, Matt. Especially all these old corpses just inches behind these walls." The man named Dix said, visibly shuddering.

"Don't you think it's kinda weird they are just putting this guy in the wall without a funeral?" Matt asked

"I heard the guy was a cop killed in that shootout yesterday."

Matt laughed and said "One for our side!"

Tony winced as the two men enjoyed their laugh and a high five.

"His ex, that bitchy broad out in the garden this morning, I heard her talking on the phone with some lawyer. Way she talked she is on the warpath. I heard this guy was a fucking queer!"

"No Shit!"

"And a fucking ex-Marine!"

"No way!"

"There are NO EX MARINES!" Tony said stepping fully into the room.

The two men looked shocked but quickly recovered.

"Who the fuck are you?" Dix sneered crossing his arms.

"What did you mean when you said there wasn't going to be a funeral?" Tony asked, the coldness in his voice seemed to lower the temperature in the room.

Dixon paused for a moment. He wondered who the hell this guy was. He seemed authoritve so he didn't want to screw up the cush job he and Matt had.

"Our job is to just put him in and seal him up. His old lady said the cops will give him a wake or something."

"So that's it?" Tony asked "You just shove him in, seal him up and walk away?"

Dixon shrugged and said "Pretty much."

Realizing he may be dealing with one of William Spencer's Family, Dixon pointed at the casket and said "You one of his brothers?"

Tony thought about how he should answer that question.

"I'm his lover." Tony stated as a matter of fact his eyes narrowing in anger.

Dixon's eyes got wide and he looked at Matt and said "His lover!?"

Matt Carver's eyes mirrored his friends. He laughed nervously knowing Carl Dixon could be a very cruel man. It didn't surprise him when Dixon opened his mouth and said:

"Well lover boy, you here for one last fuck before we toss this maggot meal into permanent storage?"

Tony heard a gasp behind him but it didn't really register in his mind.

He had heard of the term "seeing red" but had never had an experience that would give him a reference point to that level of anger.

He had it now. Tony felt rage explode throughout his body. He had no other thoughts then to damage the man in front of him.

He could see Dixon's twisted grin fade as Tony stepped forward and clobbered him. Dixon staggered back but righted himself before he went down.

"You are gonna pay for that boy!" Dixon said venomously as he threw himself towards Tony. Tony side stepped in time, tripping Dixon as his body moved past. Dixon hit the ground, his face breaking his fall.

Tony let out a cruel laugh. He was now aware of Abby and James Spencer just staring at him, their mouths agape in surprise.

Tony heard Abby say helplessly "Tony?!"

He didn't answer. He watched as blood poured from Dixon's nose as he goaded the man to get up and fight.

As Dixon struggled to his feet Abby pulled her cell phone from her pocket. Trying not to panic she dialed Gibbs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs had watched as Tony headed outside so Gibbs could talk to Linda alone. Linda's smug expression and Tony's devastated look had Gibbs so angry he had a hard time masking it. He had to though. Linda had all the cards and Gibbs would do his best to bring peace to the situation.

"I know you are angry things didn't work out between you and Spence but is it really necessary to take it out on Tony? You have been divorced for over 3 years, Linda."

Linda ignored Gibbs question and instead said. "You remember where you were on July 4, 1982?"

Gibbs sighed but knew he had to play along.

"Of course, it was the day you and Spence tied the knot."

"Exactly. When I said "I do" I meant that for life Gibbs. Of course a man who goes through marriages like underwear would not understand such things."

The smile she gave him let him know she was enjoying every bit of the power she held.

He restrained himself thinking only of Tony and his need for this to work out.

"You got me there." He said uncharacteristically.

"Really? That seems to almost be an apology Gibbs?" she twisted the emotional knife.

"Is that what you want Linda? You want me to apologize? If I do will that make it okay for Tony to be at Spence's funeral and be able to visit his grave every now and then?"

She sat back in her chair and not breaking eye contact said "There is not going to be a funeral."

"What!? Why?" he asked, floored by her revelation.

She shrugged saying "Spence is being interned into the crypt right now. The police will be honoring him with a ceremony sometime in the near future. Tony can say his goodbyes then."

Gibbs shook his head not sure he had heard her correctly.

"Wait a minute! Spence is being buried right now? Why isn't the family there to witness it...or friends?"

"I have the legal documents trusting me to act on Spence's behalf. This was my choice as Spence's wife to bury him as I deemed appropriate. He is home, on his family's land with his FAMILY! Now if Spence had other wishes that he put in writing, documents that I am unaware of, then Tony only has to produce them. Spence is being placed in the mausoleum and it would be very easy to move him if a court of law requires it."

Gibbs was not sure how to react. Her explanation went against everything Gibbs believed in. Spence was a decorated Marine and Police Officer. He could have had full military honors and been buried at Arlington. He should have had some type of sendoff, with his body present that honored his service to Country and to the District of Columbia.

Gibbs was speechless.

Linda stood up and walked to the fridge.

"Would you like something to drink, Jethro?"

He wanted a glass of bourbon but said "No."

William Spencer entered the house at that moment. He walked up behind Linda and gave her a kiss on top of her head. Gibbs noticed his hands moved lightly down her body before she turned into his embrace saying "We have company William."

"Yeah, I know, I saw James walking with that weird looking girl behind the house."

She smiled up at him and then tilted her head over to the kitchen table. William turned and realized they were not alone.

"Gibbs!" he declared trying to recover

"Hello, William" Gibbs responded automatically as William Spencer looked at his watch.

Gibbs predicted what William would say next.

"Well, I best be going, I have a business meeting in a few minutes." he nodded towards Gibbs and left.

Linda carried her iced tea back to the table and sat down.

"You and William?" he asked

She shrugged "None of your business."

Gibbs had had it with the games.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Linda?! When did you become such a vindictive, petty person? You know, Tony made Spence very happy. They were in love Linda and I MEAN REAL LOVE! Oh, you may think I wouldn't know love if it jumped up and bit me but I did. I loved Shannon and we would still be together if she had not been murdered! You and Spence had some good years and you had two kids together. If you ever truly loved Spence quit blaming him, and quit blaming Tony and move on!"

Suddenly, Linda threw her glass of tea against the wall. She leaned over, jammed her index finger into Gibbs chest, and getting into Gibbs face she screamed:

"I DON'T BLAME SPENCE! I BLAME YOU! YOU INTRODUCED THEM JETHRO! SPENCE TOLD ME ALL ABOUT IT! YOU RUINED MY CHANCES OF RECONCILLIATION! SO, FUCK YOU! AND FUCK PRETTY BOY! I HOPE WHAT YOU HAVE SAID IS TRUE! I HOPE TONY LOVES SPENCE WITH EVERY OUNCE OF HIS BEING AND THAT IT KILLS HIM A LITTLE INSIDE EVERYDAY HAVING TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE!"

Gibbs stood and headed for the front door. He walked out into the sunshine in a daze. He had blown it. He had let Tony down. How would he explain what he had just heard? No funeral for Spence? How would Tony even handle that?

Linda had caught him off guard with her accusations that he was to blame. The woman was psychotic! He glanced around looking for any sign of Tony or Abby. He had just opened the door to the Challenger when his phone rang.


	14. Chapter 14

**Devotion Chapter Fourteen**

Seeing the call was from Abby, he answered saying "Hey Abs, where are you?"

"GIBBS!" Abby sounded like she was in an echo chamber "Tony is losing it! We need you at the mausoleum!"

Gibbs was behind the wheel of his car in seconds. Firing up the engine he said "Losing it? How is he losing it Abs?" He could hear what sounded like scuffling and Jimmy Spencer scream "MATT DROP THAT CROWBAR!"

Abby moved the phone from her mouth so she wouldn't scream in Gibbs ear.

"HE IS A FEDERAL AGENT!" she yelled

"SHIT! I'm on my way Abby!" Gibbs snapped his phone shut as he sped down the road towards the cemetery. His mind was racing. He wondered what kind of trouble Tony had gotten into now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"GET UP ASSHOLE!" Tony screamed at Carl Dixon as Tony had again sidestepped the older man's onslaught. Tony had landed a punch to Dixon's side before he went down again. Dixon sat panting on the floor of the mausoleum, his face bloody but his eyes determined to end Tony.

Things had escalated so quickly the three other people in the room with Tony and Dixon had frozen in place, shocked at what they were seeing. Dixon could see the girl was on her phone but he ignored her. He looked to his partner Matt and with a nod of his head Matt Carver moved into action. Carver picked up the crowbar they had used to open the crypt and swinging it like a bat brought it full force against Tony's back.

"MATT DROP THAT CROWBAR!" James Spencer yelled

The realization of what Carver was about to do compelled him to act. It was too late. Carver hit Tony as hard as he could. Tony's body sailed forward as Spencer grabbed Carver pulling him away so he couldn't take another swing.

The look of surprise on Tony's face delighted Carl Dixon. Dixon moved to the left as Tony crashed down to the floor on Dixon's right. Dixon took advantage Tony was down and winded. Turning Tony over onto his back, Dixon sat down heavily on Tony's chest pinning his arms to his sides. He leered at Tony as Tony struggled to simply breathe.

Dixon heard the girl scream "HE IS A FEDERAL AGENT!" Dixon didn't give a shit if the kid was the fucking President of the United States. He wrapped his hands around Tony's neck and began to squeeze. He pulled Tony up and slammed his head down against the hard marble floor. Dixon repeated the action. He heard the girl screaming for him to stop and then he felt her lithe body fighting him from behind. It didn't stop him. He slammed Tony against the floor for a third time watching Tony's eyes flutter in pain as he tried to cling to consciousness.

Dixon leaned down and whispered in Tony's ear.

"Well lover boy, how about I reunite you with your boyfriend? There is plenty of room for the two of you in that hole!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs was out of his car in a flash and in the mausoleum in seconds.

The scene before him was chaos.

James Spencer was struggling with a man wielding a crowbar. Abby was trying to pull a man off of Tony. She had her arms around the man's neck applying all the strength she had but it was to no avail. The man had Tony pinned to the floor and he was strangling him. From where Gibbs was standing Tony looked dead. That fear moved him forward. He pulled Abby up and to the side as he yelled:

"Back off, Abs! I got this."

Gibbs did not catch Abby's look of relief that the cavalry had arrived.

Gibbs grabbed Dixon from behind in a choke hold. He pulled the man up and flung him to the side like he was a rag doll. If Tony had been conscious he would have enjoyed Dixon's look of surprise. Gibbs forced Dixon into a seated position against the crypt wall. Gibbs hand was around Dixon's throat and he squeezed. Looking Dixon in the eyes he hissed "That Federal Agent better be alright!"

Dixon finally seemed to comprehend the trouble surrounding him. He had never killed anyone before but looking at Tony he realized that is what he may have just done. Gibbs released Dixon so he could check on Tony. As Gibbs checked Tony for signs of life, Dixon scrambled to explain:

"He…he started it! We were just doing our job!" Dixon looked around frantically seeking support from the others that had been witness.

"He hit you because of the horrible thing you said!" Abby said coming to Tony's defense.

Gibbs was not interested in what had transpired. He had his fingers at Tony's throat at his pulse point. Gibbs was relieved to feel a steady beat. Tony's breathing was steady but shallow. Gibbs ran his hand under Tony's head searching for injury. He found a goose egg sized lump on the back of Tony's head. The lump felt damp. Gibbs pulled his hand away and looking down he found traces of blood.

Frowning, Gibbs opened Tony's eyes to check his pupils. They reacted to the light. Gibbs felt relief wash over him. Tony was severely injured but it appeared at the moment he was just unconscious. Gibbs was concerned about the lump on his head. He needed to get Tony to a hospital.

Gibbs stood and helped Abby up off the floor. Gibbs looked at James and asked "How close is the nearest hospital?"

"Next town over there is a small medical clinic. Closest hospital is Bethesda."

It would take too long for an ambulance to get to them and then get back to Bethesda.

Matt Carver stepped over to Dixon and helped him off the floor. The two men looked worried.

Gibbs gave them a disgusted look. He could see the worry in their eyes and thought they were worried for themselves not that they may have killed Tony.

Gibbs was trying to decide the best course of action when Tony groaned.

He kneeled down and said "You with me, DiNozzo?"

Tony opened his eyes slowly, grimaced with the pain and promptly shut them.

"I feel like I've been hit by a bus Boss." He said through gritted teeth.

"Do you think you can stand?" Gibbs asked

"I'll try. May need some help."

Gibbs leaned down and pulled Tony into a sitting position.

Tony moaned again and holding his head in his hands said "Give me a sec."

Carver and Dixon looked at James Spencer and said "Can we leave?"

James looked at Gibbs who shook his head in the affirmative.

"Go ahead. Matt, drive Carl over to the med clinic. I'll let William know where you are."

The men moved quickly to make their escape.

After a few minutes Tony said "I think I'm ready."

James moved next to Tony across from Gibbs. Together they hauled Tony to his feet.

He swayed a bit so Gibbs and James held on to him.

"I'm good." Tony stated still keeping his eyes closed. Abby stepped up and put her arm around Tony, comforting him. While she attended him Gibbs stepped away and signaled for James to join him.

Gibbs looked around the mausoleum then looking at James asked:

"Did you know they were interning Spence without any ceremony?"

James looked genuinely surprised at that statement.

"No, I was under the impression Spence would lay in state in the building closet to the cemetery while Linda decided what kind of service to have. You mean to tell me William's two goons were just going to stick him in here and close him up?"

"It appears that way. Linda told me there would not be a funeral. She expects the police department to honor your brother in the weeks to come."

"I don't understand her!" James replied with disgust.

Gibbs pulled out his wallet and handed James his card.

"Jimmy, will you call me if anything changes regarding Spence? I appreciate you were hospitable to Tony. He loved your brother very much."

James choked up a bit at that. "I know Spence loved Tony, too. Spence and I are the black sheep of our family, Gibbs. We stayed in touch and shared each other's lives but neither of us was close to William or John Jr. Spence and I didn't see each other much and I'll always regret that now. I want to make sure Linda does right by Spence's kids but other than that I don't care if I ever come back here."

Gibbs nodded his understanding.

Abby had started to help Tony to exit the mausoleum when Tony stopped abruptly and said "Spence! We can't leave Spence, Abs! They were trying to just shove him in a hole and seal him in! Just Spence and two strangers! I can't leave him alone Abby!"

Tony pulled out of her grasp and the quick turn back towards Spence's casket had the room spinning around him. He swayed and as he began to fall Gibbs caught him.

"Thanks Boss" Tony whispered "Can you ask the room to quit spinning?"

Gibbs didn't have a chance to reply when Tony passed out. James helped Gibbs carry Tony out to Gibbs car. Gibbs was thankful Jimmy was there. He didn't think he could have handled Tony's dead weight by himself.

They placed Tony gingerly in the front seat and as Gibbs secured Tony with the seat belt Abby gave Jimmy a big hug.

"Thanks for defending Tony, Jimmy! I hope I get to see you again."

"I would like to see you too Abby. Take good care of yourself and Tony."

Abby pulled back and opening her purse pulled out a business card and handed it to him.

Jimmy's eyes got wide when he saw she was the Forensics Specialist for NCIS. She kissed his cheek before entering the backseat behind the driver's side.

Gibbs shook Jimmy's hand and got behind the wheel.

The Challenger was out of site in minutes.


	15. Chapter 15

**Devotion Chapter Fifteen**

Gibbs sped down the highway as fast and as safe as he could. They were about an hour out from Bethesda. He would do his best to get there before 60 minutes passed.

He looked over at Tony every few minutes to make sure he was breathing comfortably. Tony's chin rested on his chest. He was out cold but his breathing was not labored. It was a small comfort but Gibbs held on to it.

He glanced in the rear view mirror to check on Abby. She was paler then usual and the sadness in her beautiful eyes was hard to see. She had been looking out the window but turned and met his gaze in the mirror.

"Tell me what happened, Abs." Gibbs asked

Abby took a deep breath and said "We saw Tony running towards the mausoleum. I called to him and I thought he heard me but he didn't stop."

She thought for a moment and asked "Why was he alone out there anyway? Where were you and where was the witch?"

Gibbs ignored the witch comment but said "Linda wanted to talk to me alone. Tony went to wait outside. Guess he wanted to check out the cemetery."

"She chose to talk to you and ignored him yet again?! GOD, what is her fricking problem? Does she not understand Tony has lost the equivalent of a spouse? "she choked back tears and said "She hates him that much?"

Gibbs didn't want to discuss what he and Linda talked about so he steered Abby back to the original question:

"What happened when you got to the mausoleum?"

She wiped her eyes and looking thoughtful said:

"Right, Jimmy and I entered and heard Tony yell "There are no ex marines."

Gibbs smiled at that, glancing at Tony. Gibbs wondered what transpired that made Tony say that. Gibbs knew Tony was quoting him. He was proud of Tony for defending Spence.

"Then we heard one of the men say "Who the Fuck are you?" and Tony asked what they meant when they said there wasn't going to be a funeral. Is that true Gibbs? There isn't going to be a funeral?" Abby looked appalled.

Gibbs shook his head and said "Linda has decided to just bury Spence. She said the Police will have a service for him."

He could see Abby's rage building so he said:

"Then what, Abs?"

"Hmmm….Tony asked if they were just going to shove Spence into the hole in the wall. The man you pulled off Tony asked if Tony was one of Spence's brothers. Tony responded with "I'm his lover!" God, Gibbs, I was so proud of Tony but then the guy said the cruelest thing!"

She hesitated and Gibbs could see she was blushing so he looked away as she continued:

"He said "Well lover boy, you here for one last fuck before we toss this maggot meal into permanent storage?"

Gibbs head shot up to meet her eyes. He was livid.

"Tony went ballistic and punched the bastard."

"_Good" _Gibbs thought

He looked over at Tony and saw blood was trickling from his nose.

"Abby! See if you can wake Tony! He has a nose bleed. He might have a concussion."

Abby leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Tony and shook him lightly. She spoke into his ear  
"Tony? TONY! Wake up Tony!"

Tony didn't move. Abby pulled a tissue from her purse and leaning over wiped the blood from Tony's nose. She placed her hand on his forehead and cried:

"Gibbs! He is really cold and clammy!"

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs yelled.

Abby was startled but Tony remained still.

Gibbs and Abby shared a look of fear.

"Hang on Abby!" he advised, as she sat back, he accelerated.

Gunning the Challenger to over 100 miles an hour he prayed he would reach the hospital in time. He couldn't even fathom losing Tony, not now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs pulled the Challenger up to the Bethesda Emergency entrance and jumped out of the car running to the passenger's side. Abby leapt from the back seat and ran into the emergency seeking help. As Gibbs unbuckled Tony from the front seat two hospital personnel, accompanied by Abby, wheeled a gurney up to the car.

Gibbs helped the two men lift Tony and place him on the gurney.

As they wheeled him into emergency the EMT's asked Gibbs a series of questions.

Gibbs ran down the chain of events and advised them Tony had been unconscious for almost an hour.

Gibbs and Abby were left in the waiting room as they took Tony to the triage unit. The intake nurse came into the waiting room and asked for Riley Spencer. Gibbs gut clenched at that. He had been Tony's medical proxy but Tony must have changed to Spence within the last 6 months. Gibbs was relieved when the nurse found he had been listed as second proxy if Spence was unavailable. He spent about 30 minutes filing the paperwork on Tony's behalf.

Ninety minutes later, Dr. Travis Jessup found them and advised they had moved Tony to a separate room.

"Can we see him Doc?" Gibbs asked

"Yes, but he may be unconscious. He does have a concussion but we were able to wake him and we were able to test his motor skills. Everything seems to be fine. The x-rays did not reveal anything life threatening. That lump on the back of his head is very swollen but we were able to alleviate the pressure. No more nosebleed but he has a hell of a headache. We couldn't give him sedatives or strong pain medication for obvious reasons. We have staff waking him every two hours. The bruising on his back is intense but no broken ribs. We want to keep him overnight for observation. I request you only spend about fifteen minutes with him. He is in room 204."

"Thank You." Abby said as Gibbs shook the Doctor's hand.

Gibbs and Abby were pleased to find Tony awake.

Tony smiled as they entered the room but he soon grimaced and closed his eyes.

Even smiling was painful.

"Hey, Tony!" Abby greeted him with a soft hug "How are you feeling?"

"Like crap."

Gibbs was surprised by Tony's answer. By this time he would be saying he was fine and chomping at the bit to go home.

"You look like crap too, DiNozzo."

He opened one eye looking at Gibbs, somewhat annoyed.

"Love you too, Boss."

Gibbs smirked at that. He felt relief wash over him. Tony should be fine, physically at least.

Gibbs and Abby pulled up some chairs and Abby held onto Tony's hand. They sat in comfortable silence then Tony asked Gibbs "So Linda tell you she was not having a funeral for Spence?"

Tony saw the sad look in Gibbs face and knew right then he would not like Gibbs response.

"She is counting on the police department to give his service. She chose to bring Spence home and intern him with his family." Gibbs had wanted to be truthful but to also cushion the blow.

Tony looked anguished as he said quietly "I have no say in any of this, not legally, and obviously Linda has absolutely no regard for me or my feelings. Obviously Spence doesn't rate with any of his damn family. They couldn't even be present when he was laid to rest!"

"Jimmy didn't know, Tony." Abby said, defending James Spencer.

"That's true, Tony." Gibbs confirmed "He was stunned at Linda's actions as well."

Tony seemed inconsolable even with this additional information so Gibbs added:

"She said if you have anything in writing that could prove your legal rights she would abide by that."

Tony frowned as he looked at Gibbs. He knew his boss was trying to be kind but Tony was pissed and he took it out on Gibbs as he said coldly "Well, we both know I don't have shit to show her. Did you tell her that?"

"Tony!?" Abby said surprised

Both Gibbs and Abby were shocked at Tony's anger. Gibbs tried not to take it personally when he responded:

"No Tony. I did not tell her that."

"So what did the two of your talk about?" he said accusingly

Gibbs frowned and his brows furrowed, his own anger beginning to build.

"Well, I tried to get her to consider your feelings, DiNozzo!" Gibbs said harshly

Tony turned away from Abby and Gibbs, closing his eyes. He felt ashamed at his reaction. He was mad at Linda, not the two people who had his back since he learned of Spence's death.

"I'm sorry" he whispered "I have no right being angry at either of you. Thank you both for being there for me and for Spence. Thanks boss for taking on Linda for me, and thank you Abs for trying to stop that asshole from strangling me."

He turned towards Gibbs and Abby and could see their reactions to his outburst had softened. Tony could tell they were concerned for him. He sighed and said "Dr. Jessup says he is keeping me overnight for observation. You two should head home and get some rest. Thank you both again for your help today."

Tony gave them a weary smile, relaxed back into the bed and shut his eyes.

Gibbs and Abby looked at each other with a stunned expression. Tony always fought a stay in the hospital. He never, ever accepted what he had been medically advised without a pout or a display of annoyance. He was always "fine" and ready to bolt from the confines of a hospital room.

"We can stay with you Tony." Abby offered.

"Yeah, DiNozzo" Gibbs added lightly "This isn't like you at all to just accept a stay overnight for observation."

Gibbs hoped Tony would find some humor in that statement but Tony turned on his side, away from them facing the opposite wall. His hospital gown was loosely tied at his back and the bruising from the crowbar was ugly.

Abby reached out her hand to touch Tony but Gibbs stopped her, grabbing her wrist. She looked at him and tears filled her eyes. Gibbs just shook his head saying "We'll be back tomorrow to get you then, DiNozzo."

"No need boss. I can handle it from here. Thanks again for everything. I'll see you both in a week or so."

"Tony! A week or so? You don't mean that…you can't mean…"

"Please Abby; I need some time to think. I just want to be alone for a while." He said his voice breaking slightly.

"Tony…" Gibbs started but Tony cut him off.

"Please, boss" he pleaded "I'm so tired….please, just let me be for a while."

Before Gibbs could answer, a nurse walked in and said too cheerfully "Fifteen minutes are up."

Tony breathed out a silent "thanks" for her perfect timing.

"Okay Tony" Gibbs said hesitantly "Call us if you need us."

Tony feigned sleep, his eyes tightly shut. He fought the tears beginning to form as he heard Abby and Gibbs say goodnight and leave the room. He knew he had treated them poorly. They deserved better. He would distance himself to give them a break.

When the nurse was done taking his vitals and left him to rest he opened his eyes and rolled onto his back. His whole body hurt but it didn't come close to how he was hurting inside. He reached for the bedside table and rummaged around until he found his cell phone.

He scrolled his contacts and when he found the person he wanted, he hit call.

Steve Adler answered with a concerned "Tony? Are you okay?"

"Hey Steve, I'm okay" He lied "You still have your license to practice law in the district?"

"I still maintain my license there. You need an attorney?" Steve joked

"I do, bro, but this may be a wild goose chase. I don't really think I have a legal leg to stand on. I would like to take you up on the offer of coming here. I can give you my credit card number so you can book your flight. I don't think I will be able to pick you up at the airport but I'll pay for the cab fare. Can you meet me at my house when you get here?"

"Of course I'll come, Tony! I'll be there ASAP. As for the ticket and the cab fare…please! I still owe you a small fortune in beer money!"

Steve said he'd call Tony back in the morning when he arrived. They said good night and Tony lay in his hospital bed thinking. Somewhere here in the hospital Joe Alvarez was being protected. Tony wondered how Joe was doing. He decided then and there he would find out. He rang for the night nurse. She was quite upset when she found him fully dressed and sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Mr. DiNozzo! What are you doing? Where are you going? You need to rest sir…your concussion…"

Tony waved his hand and said "I'm fine. I need the paper work to check myself out. I then need to know what floor I can find Joseph Alvarez."

"It is getting late Mr. DiNozzo….I will need to check with your Doctor…"

Tony glanced at her name tag and said "Nurse Amy….I am leaving in 10 minutes with or without the paperwork. I will find Joe on my own if I have too. I would appreciate your assistance but if you choose to refuse...well…"

He stopped mid-sentence when he saw her scowl and placing her hands on her hips she said "Fine! But wait here a minute."

She was back in less than five minutes. She had brought him a wheelchair.

"Get in. I will take you to Mr. Alvarez. I'll get the paperwork but I think Dr. Jessup will be talking to you before you leave."

Tony rewarded her with a mega smile. She did not return his peace offering. She wheeled him to the elevator and they rode to the 7th floor. Tony could see uniformed officers sitting outside room 705. He knew one of the officers.

Mark Jensen's eyes widened as he recognized Tony. He stood up and walked towards them.

"Jeez Tony…what the hell happened to you? You look like…"

"Crap? Yes, I have been told." Tony laughed

"How's Joe doing, Mark?" he asked with a serious tone.

"It is pretty bad, Tony. Docs think he will pull through but he may never be a beat cop again."

Tony's face fell at that statement. Joe and Spence had been partners for years. Tony use to joke with Spence that if he knew Joe was gay he would be worried. Spence and Joe were just like Tony and Gibbs. In total sync with each other, no words needed. Like two halves working as one whole. Tony was well aware Joe was lost without Spence. He also knew Joe would be lost working behind a desk. Joe and Spence loved the street action. They were adrenaline junkies. Tony hoped Joe didn't lose the career he loved along with the partner he loved as well.

Mark Jensen wheeled Tony into Joe's room. He set the brakes on the wheelchair and before leaving Tony to sit with Joe, he said quietly "Sorry about Spence, Tony. You know the bastard that took him out was killed today, here at the hospital."

"I heard" Tony said "and thanks Mark. I was hoping to talk to Joe about Spence. I will just sit with him for a while."

Tony sat and watched Joe breath. Joe was pale and his breathing was labored. He looked so vulnerable.

Tony was about to leave when Joe opened his eyes. They were clouded with pain but as they began to clear, Joe said "Tony? Is that you?"

Tony leaned forward and grasped Joe's hand.

"Yeah, it's me Joe. How are you feeling?"

"Like some bastard shot me in the back!"

Tony chuckled and said "Well, yeah, I guess that is a very accurate statement."

Tony watched Joe tear up and he said "I don't think I want to do this job anymore. Not without Spence."

Tony understood that. He could not think of staying at NCIS if anything happened to Gibbs. It just would not be the same. Tony squeezed Joe's hand and said "Worry about getting back on your feet, Joe. If you need anything I am here for you."

"When are you burying Spence, Tony? I want to be there."

Tony looked down and debated if he should tell Joe that Spence had by now already been interned.

He decided he would be honest, he told Joe what had transpired that afternoon.

Joe winced and struggled to catch his breath. The machines he was attached to began to beep and Tony worried he had been wrong to tell him.

"God, Joe! I'm sorry; I didn't mean to stress you out."

A nurse came in and adjusted a few things and added something to Joe's IV. It only took seconds for Joe to relax and the beeps to cease. Joe's eyes began to glaze over and Tony said "Rest Joe. I'll come see you again soon, okay? Just get well!"

Joe shook his head in the affirmative as his eyes closed and he was fast asleep.

Tony wheeled out of Joe's room and found the night nurse with his AMA paperwork. He signed them and she said "I'll be right back with a copy for you."

"Thank you, Nurse Amy."

While he waited Mark Jensen said "Tony, take care will ya? Keep your eyes peeled for trouble!"

Tony raised a brow to that and asked "What do you mean Mark?"

"Are you kidding me?" Mark looked pissed but added "No one warned you?"

"Warned me! About what?"

"Los Muertos M C. They have sworn vengeance against Joe and Spence. Joe is still alive but with Spence dead they are threatening to hurt his loved ones."

Tony was shocked at that.

"Seriously? Where did that information come from?"

"One of Joe and Spence's C.I.'s. He saw the news of the shootout and did some digging. Seems the leader of Los Muertos is the older brother of the kid that killed Spence. The kid Joe killed was a cousin. Seems those vicious kids were trying to earn their place in the gang".

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Across Town-Earlier in the Day  
**

Hector Zegarra, aka "El Segador" (The Reaper) sat inside Los Muertos clubhouse, in the dark, beside himself in grief. As he drowned himself in alcohol, he wept for those he had lost.

His youngest brother, Jaime, and their cousin, Julio, had been shot down on their first run at membership. The boys had made Hector proud, planning and executing the perfect robbery. Shooting and pistol whipping their way out had not been part of the plan, but it did add to the daring of the duo.

They would have gotten away except for those fucking cerdos (pigs).

Hector had been so proud Jaime had killed the gringo cop but when his men had tried to rescue Jaime, he had been killed while trying to escape. At least they had gotten to Julio's killer. Hector was pissed that Julio died at the hands of a Latino cop. Hector would make sure Alvarez would suffer. The gringo may be dead but he had loved ones out there somewhere. Hector would find them and he would make them pay.

He had exacted revenge many times.

So many he had lost count.

He was devoted to his family and his gang.

He would seek vengeance and he would not fail.

He had a reputation to uphold.

**A/N-Thanks to everyone who has fave'd, reviewed, alerted, followed etc. Sorry I have not been able to thank everyone who has commented personally.  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**Devotion Chapter Sixteen**

Tony looked at his phone to check the time. It was just after 9 pm. He was currently sitting in a wheelchair near the hospital entrance waiting for his cab. Nurse Amy was explaining the circumstances of his foolish decision to leave before talking to Dr. Jessup. He humored her by nodding and saying "Uh huh" when appropriate. He did not mean to be rude it was just he had heard the speech before and really didn't care. He hated hospitals and he was determined to leave.

When the cab arrived he refused her assistance and climbed into the back seat on his own. He thanked her for the papers and her care and concern. He leaned back, gave the cabbie his address and closed his eyes avoiding the annoyed glare the nurse threw his way.

He had fallen asleep, startled awake when the cabbie informed him they had arrived.

He paid the driver, adding a generous tip. The cabbie asked if he needed help to the door. Tony just waved him away and said "Thanks, I'm fine" as he slightly weaved towards his house. He missed seeing the concerned look on the driver's face.

Tony shivered at the cold. He did not have a jacket, being dressed only in jeans and a t-shirt. The cold kept him awake so he was happy for it. He unlocked the front door, entered, toed of his sneakers then flipped on a lamp near the couch.

Keeping his eyes down, he focused on getting to the kitchen. He placed his Sig on the piano as he walked past. He did not want to look around. He knew it may sound nuts but the less he saw things that reminded him of Spence the better. He grabbed a beer from the fridge before heading towards the stairs.

He had been advised to not indulge in alcohol but he had had a concussion before and knew his limits. A few beers would not kill him. He had refused the pain med prescription he was offered at the hospital. He didn't need them. He would have just added them to a medicine cabinet already chock full of bottles of narcotics he had never used.

His memory of Spence bitching at him for the ever growing pharmacy in their bathroom made him smile. In the two years Tony had been with Spence he had been hurt at least 8 times. Spence use to call it "Tony's quarterly bad luck curse". Like clockwork, he tended to be hurt every three months. Tony use to counter that claim by saying at least he survived each and every one so he had quarterly good luck as well. That earned him a head slap from Gibbs and Spence had said "If you were a cat, Tony, you'd only have one life left!"

That conversation had been at Bethesda three months ago when Tony had been grazed by a bullet meant for Gibbs. Spence had arrived at the hospital with Joe Alvarez in tow. He remembered the look on Spence's face-worry that turned to relief, which turned to sarcastic comments about the quarterly curse.

Gibbs took Joe for coffee to give Spence and Tony a few minutes alone. Tony remembered how Spence's body shook as they held each other. Tony blew it off not wanting to give it much thought. He just held Spence tight and relished the care and love Spence showered on him.

Tony had not thought about how Spence must have felt getting the call from Gibbs telling him Tony had been shot-again. He realized in that moment he did not really think about his mortality. He wondered how many years he had left to live, to live without Spence. He also realized he felt like a selfish, needy jerk.

Shedding his clothes as he walked into the master bedroom, he only spent enough time in there to get a clean pair of sweats and a sweatshirt before heading out towards the guest room bathroom.

He turned on the water letting it get hot and the room get steamy, as he drank down his bottle of beer.

He tossed the bottle in the trash can under the sink.

The overhead light hurt his eyes so he turned on the nightlight, shut off the overhead and stepped into the shower.

The hot water and steam felt like heaven as it enveloped his aching body. He had caught a glimpse of his back. The bruising was a heinous mosaic of purple, black and blue. The same colors had made their appearance around his neck. He had looked closely at those on a bathroom break at the hospital. He was convinced he could actually make out a handprint.

Tony sighed and tried to clear his mind and think of nothing. That worked for about a minute. He relived everything that had happened over the last day and a half, over and over. He was thankful to know when he talked to Mark Jensen, that the police had had the foresight to contact the Spencer family regarding the threat of Los Muertos. He was a bit miffed and hurt that they had not contacted him. He realized that few knew of his relationship with Spence so he let it go. He would take precautions but didn't really think those Los Muertos dirt bags were much of a threat.

When the water began to cool, Tony turned off the shower, grabbed a towel and dried off. He slipped on his black sweats and red Ohio State sweatshirt and headed downstairs. He was really exhausted but felt too tired to sleep. He grabbed another beer and sat on the couch. He didn't want to watch anything on TV. He decided he would like a fire so he got up and turned it on. He and Spence had upgraded the fireplace, changing it to gas instead of wood burning.

He turned off the lamp near the couch and watched the flames as he drank his beer.

As the firelight danced around the room, Tony came to understand he would not be living in this house much longer. He felt in his gut that Steve would not be able to find a loophole and he would have to relinquish his home of the last two years. Even if there was a loophole and Tony got the house, he would probably just sell it anyway.

He finally looked at the roses he had tried so hard to ignore. They were breathtaking.

Tony took a swig of beer as his thoughts grew dark.

"What's the fucking point" he said aloud to no one "They'll begin to fade, die and then the vase will be empty, like my fucking heart!"

He shook away the drama and focused on the business at hand.

He had to start again. Spence expected him to. Spence had told him to have a wonderful life.

He would not let Spence down.

He began to take stock of what he would like to keep when he left. Naturally, he would take what he brought. Mainly the piano, his clothes, a few knick knacks, photos, and his DVDs, CDs and books.

Everything else they had purchased together or Spence already had when Tony moved in.

He would leave most of that behind.

He would keep the beautiful headboard Gibbs had made for them.

He hoped to use it again someday.

The one thing he wanted most was the vase Spence cherished. Tony decided he wanted to carry on his tradition of placing flowers in the vase every week to honor Spence's memory. If he was going to be denied visiting Spence's grave he would keep his memory alive….wherever Tony's new home may be.

He got up and went to the kitchen. He was going to have one more beer before he hit the sack. He returned to the living room and instead of sitting back on the couch he sat down at the piano bench.

Placing his beer on the floor. He cracked his knuckles then interlaced his fingers and pushed his palms outward. Feeling his hands stretched and loose he placed his fingers on the keys. He thought for a moment what he should play. He smiled as he thought about the last time he had played at Spence's request. He knew most of the songs Spence liked to hear him play by heart.

"This is for you Spence!" He said out loud looking directly at the photo of the two of them, Spence's smiling face resting on Tony's shoulder, his arms lovingly draped around Tony.

Tony began with Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles". He then played "My Immortal" by Evanescence, Bon Jovi's "Always", "Passion" by Utada Hikaru, some Beethoven, Chopin and finally "Numb" by Linkin Park. Tony loved that Spence had such eclectic taste in music.

Tony played with eyes closed, letting his love for Spence flow from his heart through his hands onto 88 keys that filled the room with music.

When he stopped playing he sat in the silence enjoying the euphoria he always got from playing the piano. He felt warm and at peace as he reached down and grabbed his beer. He took a long pull, enjoying the warm liquid.

"_I must have been playing a long time for my beer to reach room temperature."_ He thought as he returned the empty bottle to the floor.

He glanced at the roses and then gazed once more at the photo of himself and Spence. He took a deep breath and as he released it he realized his Sig was missing.

His body went rigid and at that moment he heard the familiar sound of a Sig's rack sliding to manually cock the hammer.

Before Tony could turn around he heard a voice from the shadows say venomously, "Looking for this?"


	17. Chapter 17

**Devotion Chapter Seventeen**

Gibbs wrapped his arm around Abby as they left the hospital together. They walked in silence but Gibbs knew they were both worrying about Tony. When they reached Gibbs car he opened the passenger side door allowing Abby to get in. When he was behind the wheel she broke their silence saying:

"Gibbs, what are we going to do about Tony? I really don't like leaving him alone."

Gibbs sighed and replied "We have to give him some space, Abs" as he put the key in the ignition and started the Challenger.

He turned towards Abby and added "I'm worried about him too."

She nodded and gave him a soft smile. Her eyes were bright with tears but she held them back.

They rode in a comfortable silence until Abby asked:

"How are you holding up, Gibbs? I just realized I have not asked you that. I mean, Tony's loss was huge but so was yours. I know how much Spence meant to you."

Gibbs had not really allowed himself to grieve for Spence, instead placing all his focus on Tony. Abby watched as the stoic look on Gibbs face changed to a deep sadness and as fast as that pain appeared it was gone.

"I'm okay, Abs." He said, but she knew he wasn't.

She felt bad she had mentioned it to him. He and Tony were so alike. They both masked their pain-Tony through humor, Gibbs in controlled, determined silence.

He was their fearless leader. He took care of his team like a papa bear. When you counted on the strongest person to carry you, it was easy to forget they needed to be carried or cradled sometimes.

When they reached Tony's house, Gibbs walked Abby to her hearse. He kissed her cheek and said:

"Go home and get some rest Abby. Try not to worry too much about Tony. We just need to give him a bit of space."

"Alright but YOU get some rest too, Bossman!" she chided him, pushing her index finger playfully into his chest. She kissed his cheek, got into her car and gave him a small wave as she drove off.

Gibbs watched Abby drive away until her taillights faded away into the night.

He turned his attention to the bungalow.

It stood there dark and cold, the streetlight casting eerie shadows all around it.

Gibbs reflected on the day he helped Spence move in. Spence was so excited to have his own house. He didn't have a lot of stuff to unload so after about an hour; they sat together on the back porch and shared a six pack.

Spence told Gibbs how he wanted to turn the backyard into a huge vegetable garden. He had it already planned out. Gibbs volunteered to help him build the wooden planters to house the garden. Spence's excitement turned to melancholy as he finished off his third beer. He confided in Gibbs it was great to have a house but he hoped he could meet someone special to make it a home. Linda had kept his sons from him. He had gone to court many times to fight for joint custody but his job worked against him. He had limited visitation so his relationship with his boys suffered greatly.

Getting back into his car he wondered if Tony would want to live in the house without Spence.

Gibbs was being sucked down into a pool of emotion. He needed a distraction.

He usually didn't listen to the radio but decided to turn on the news. The drone of the newscaster allowed his mind to wander. His attention was grabbed when the story of a shootout at Bethesda earlier that day had left two gang members dead.

_WHAT?_

He didn't get the whole story and was pissed he had not paid attention. He thought back remembering an intense police presence when he had brought Tony to Bethesda. He was preoccupied so it didn't really register at the time.

He pulled into his drive way and immediately turned on his TV after he entered his house. He turned the channel to ZNN. They were talking weather at the time so Gibbs went to his kitchen and grabbed a beer. He grabbed some left over Chinese food too and threw it into the microwave, setting the timer for 2 minutes. He discarded his coat, toed off his shoes, and hit the head. The ding of the microwave drew him back to the kitchen.

Beer cap on the counter, Chinese food hot and steaming, he grabbed some chop sticks and sat down on his worn but comfortable couch.

He took a large swig of beer and rooted around in the carton searching for the cashew chicken, avoiding the vegetables, while he waited for the financial report to end.

A commercial break allowed him to get another beer and toss the vegetable laden carton into the trash.

Finally, the story he had been waiting for played out. He learned that Los Muertos M C members had tried to break out the kid who killed Spence from Bethesda, only to be killed himself while trying to escape. He also learned that Joe Alvarez had been shot in retaliation for the gang member he had killed. The reporter had not mentioned Joe by name but it was easy to figure out. The reporter confirmed the police officer was at Bethesda and security had been increased.

Gibbs sat back and wondered if Tony knew about Joe. He also wondered about Tony's safety. He got up and turned off the TV. He debated if he should drive over and check on Tony and Joe. His mind said no, give Tony his space but his gut screamed go, go, go!

He always trusted his gut.

Gibbs put on his shoes and grabbed his jacket, gun and keys. He was out the door and on his way back to Bethesda within minutes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs arrived at the hospital quickly, parked his car and headed in. He decided he would check on Joe first then check on DiNozzo. He figured if Tony was awake he would be able to tell him about Joe and how he was doing. If Tony was asleep he could watch over him and make a quick escape if Tony woke up.

He flashed his badge and asked for Joe's room number. He headed to the elevator and hit the button for the 7th floor. When the doors opened Gibbs saw the uniformed Police officers down the corridor. One of the Officers looked familiar. Seeing Gibbs walking towards what was obviously Joe's room, the officers stood and one of them approached Gibbs, his hand held up indicating to Gibbs that he should stop.

Gibbs read the body language and came to a halt.

"Can I help you sir?" The officer asked suspiciously

"I'm Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS. I know Joe Alvarez and wanted to see if he was okay."

The cop's expression changed to a smile.

"Tony's boss! Yes, I remember you from the basketball games Spence organized last summer."

He offered his hand to Gibbs and said "Mark Jensen."

The name clicked as Gibbs shook his hand.

"Right! Nice to see you again Mark. How is Joe doing?"

"He is currently sedated but you can visit awhile if you'd like."

"I'd like to see him at least" Gibbs agreed as Mark guided him into Joe's room.

The two men stood across from each other as Gibbs watched Joe sleep.

"The doctors expect him to recover but he may be permanently riding a desk, I'm afraid." Mark whispered.

Gibbs just nodded watching Joe breathe. This whole incident had been a total cluster fuck.

The next comment from Mark brought Gibbs head up with a snap.

"I warned Tony before he left that he should watch his back. Spence and Joe's CI found out Los Muertos could be gunning for their families in retaliation. We called the Spencer family earlier this evening to warn them. We have Joe's family in a safe house."

Gibbs shook his head not sure he heard right.

"Tony was here?" Gibbs demanded

"Yes." Mark responded wondering what had changed Gibbs demeanor.

"And he left? Left to go back to his room?"

"Uh, no, he checked himself out AMA…."

Mark stopped speaking, looking confused.

Gibbs had just rushed out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Getting back on the elevator Gibbs slammed his fist against the button that would take him back to the main floor.

"_Goddam idiot!" _

Gibbs fumed, cursing Tony's stupid decision to leave and cursing himself for leaving Tony to his own devices.

He knew better than to trust DiNozzo to stay put.

When the elevator door opened he looked around and noticed the nurse who had cared for Tony. She was carrying a bottle of water and looked like she was just getting off a break.

Gibbs approached her and was about to flash his badge when she greeted him "Hello, Agent Gibbs."

He did not acknowledge her greeting but said "I just heard Agent DiNozzo checked himself out. Can you tell me when he left?"

She could see he looked really stressed so she quickly answered "I called him a cab at his request. It finally arrived about 90 minutes ago."

"Thanks" he yelled back to her.

He had already started running when she got to the 90 minutes part of her statement.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs roared out of the hospital parking lot heading back to Tony's house. He tried to calm himself. He was so furious he wanted to just rip into DiNozzo for being so reckless with his health. If he was really honest with himself the reason he was so damn mad was because he was actually scared that Tony may be in real danger.

The protective feelings he had for Tony had dialed up with Spence's death. He knew they were irrational but where Tony was concerned Gibbs did not have a lot of rational thoughts.

He slowed his car as he turned down Tony's street. He drove slowly past the bungalow, noticing muted light from the first floor. A black van was parked in front of Tony's house so Gibbs pulled into the drive way.

He took a few deep breaths and debated what he should do. It didn't take long to decide. He flung open the car door and trying not to stomp his way up the steps and kick in the door, he commanded his mind to calm and relax.

When he got to the front stairs of the house he stopped. He could hear beautiful music and knew it was Tony at the piano. Gibbs was not really into music but it was not hard to hear and feel the emotions behind every note Tony played. Gibbs quietly moved to the top stair and sat down. The music washed away his anger. Tony was safe and Gibbs just knew Tony was playing for Spence. Gibbs closed his eyes and just listened. It was truly cathartic.

Gibbs believed Spence when he raved about Tony's musical talent but Gibbs had never been patient enough to really sit and listen to Tony play. In fact, the few times Spence had goaded Tony to play for Gibbs, Tony always appeared embarrassed and would find a way to get out of it.

Gibbs now knew he had really been missing out all these years. Tony was extremely gifted musically. Spence always boasted that Tony was a man of many talents. Gibbs had always been curious about that statement since Spence would just smile and refuse to elaborate.

It took a few minutes for Gibbs to realize it was quiet. He waited but when the silence dragged on he stood and walked to the door. He hesitated. Should he knock or should he just leave. Obviously Tony was okay.

"_Well not obviously"_ Gibbs said to himself.

Feeling foolish but needing to know Tony was actually alright, Gibbs made his way to a side window. He peered in and saw Tony sitting at the piano. He seemed to be looking at the photos. Gibbs watched as Tony's body stiffened and he began to turn to look behind him. Something had drawn Tony's attention. Gibbs followed Tony's line of sight. Gibbs could make out a figure in the shadows.

His blood turned to ice.

Tony was in danger.

The question was from whom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs quickly made his way to the back of the house. He knew this house and this property as well as his own. He toed off his shoes and climbed the few stairs to the back door. Gibbs pulled his lock picks from the breast pocket of his jacket and put them to use. He had the door unlocked in seconds. He put the tools back in his pocket, pulled out his Sig and entered the house. He avoided all the spots on the hard wood floors that may creak under foot. He made his way towards the front room and when he had a bead on the figure he stopped. Like the highly trained sniper he was, he lay in wait until he had the perfect shot.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Tony heard the voice say "Looking for this?" he knew he had underestimated Los Muertos M C.

He turned and saw a man he had never seen before step forward holding Tony's gun. Tony had been so tired he had not locked up his weapon immediately upon entering his home. He had the same routine everyday….walk in and secure the Sig. Of all days to break that routine.

Being killed with your own gun was embarrassing.

Tony thought about asking the usual questions "Who are you?" and "What do you want?"

But Tony already knew this guy was here to kill him.

The man did nothing to try and conceal his identity. Tony could clearly see his face and the man was defiantly wearing his Los Muertos M C leather vest.

In fact Tony noticed he even had a name patch. It said Segador.

"Reaper?" Tony said sarcastically, than added "Somebody's parents were creative!"

Hector Zegarra stepped forward, a cruel smile on his face.

He remained silent as he calmly approached Tony.

It had been so simple to find Riley Spencer's home-public records were a wonderful thing. Hector was upset to find the house empty. He had rushed to sober up and was now pissed he ruined a good buzz. He had just decided to leave when he saw the cab pull up to the Spencer home. He did a U-turn and parked his van in front of the house. He broke in again and was pleased to hear the shower running upstairs. He moved to the shadows and like a spider in a web, he waited for the fly.

His patience had really paid off.

He had enjoyed the musical production and now he got to indulge in a favorite past time-terror and lots of physical violence.

As Tony began to rise, the man said "Sit the fuck down and keep your hands on the piano!"

Tony did as he was told. He never broke eye contact as he took in every detail of the man threatening him.

If he survived this ordeal he would need to be able to identify this man. He was 5'10 or 5'11, Hispanic, shoulder length black hair and dark eyes. He had a very muscular build and Tony knew he would be hard to beat if it got physical between them. He noticed the man had very white teeth as he leered at Tony. Tony made a mental note to remember the man had one gold tooth, a canine.

He also had an impressive scar that ran from his hairline to his chin. Tony really wanted to ask the man how he got it but figured that was probably not a good idea at the time.

Hector Zegarra stopped in front of Tony and looked down on him. He then glanced at the photo of Tony and Spence. He kept the gun level to Tony's head as he pointed at Spence's picture.

"This cerdo (pig) is the reason my brother is dead."

Tony should have remained quiet. He knew that logically but it just wasn't in his nature.

"Well, that happens to assholes who try to commit robberies. Nature of the business don't you think?" Tony said the sentence dripping with sarcasm.

Hector's eyes narrowed as Tony gave him a big smile.

Before Hector could respond Tony lost the smile and said "Your brother deserved to die for killing one of the best men I have ever known."

Hector's response was to pistol whip him.

Tony's head snapped forward as he had took a blow to the right side of his skull. As he tried to raise his head he saw blood drops falling onto ivory piano keys.

They looked surreal.

Gibbs held his breath. He wanted to just shoot the fucker who hit Tony but the gun barrel was again too close to Tony's head. Gibbs was afraid Tony may be killed if he acted in haste. So he waited and hoped Tony would shut his trap.

Hector pointed to Tony's image in the photo and said "This is you?"

Tony had a hard time seeing what Hector was pointing at. He had a lot of blood running into his eye. He moved his hand off the piano and tried to wipe the blood away. Hector slammed his head down on the piano screaming "It is YOU. You a fucking maricon (fag)?"

Tony responded in Spanish "Chinga usted, pendejo!" (Fuck you asshole)

Hector was surprised. His eyebrows shot up and he replied "Que chingados?" (What the fuck)

"You speak perfect Spanish white boy!"

"Yeah? Well kiss my white ass, cabron (motherfucker)!"

"_Shut up DiNozzo!"_ Gibbs thought.

Hector grabbed Tony at the back of his sweatshirt and pulled him to his feet. Tony gagged and instinctively raised his hands to pull the fabric away from his bruised neck.

Hector dragged Tony back with him towards the front door, as he spat out what he wanted to do to him.

"I should just stomp your hands until the bones are dust, maricon! Cripple you so you can never play another song or never shoot another gun!"

Hector laughed loudly, amused at what he thought to say next.

"Useless hands so you can never hold your dick to take a piss or jack yourself off or some other joto (gay)! Only thing you'd be good for is to throw you down and fuck you. Maybe get one of my boys to fuck your mouth while I'm doing it. In fact, I think I want to play with you a bit before I stomp those talented hands and put a bullet into your pretty head!"

As Hector was ranting, Tony tried to get his footing so he could swing around and fight back but his chance never came. Hector had twisted the sweatshirt around his hand, effectively tightening it like a noose around Tony's neck. As Hector pulled him back, Tony would stumble, he would gasp for breath and dark spots began to appear before his eyes. He began to panic praying he would not lose consciousness and fall prey to this fucking psycho.

Gibbs had had enough. He didn't have a clear shot but he could not wait any longer. He stood from his dark corner of the room and with all the authority he could command he screamed:

"NCIS, FEDERAL AGENT! RELEASE SPECIAL AGENT DINOZZO AND DROP YOUR WEAPON!"

The stunned look on Hector's face was equally mirrored by Tony. Hector still had a hold of Tony's sweatshirt in one hand and his gun in the other. Tony had his hands at the neck of his sweatshirt trying to prevent strangulation. The shock of Gibbs voice froze them in place like a grotesque statue.

Gibbs took that moment to move forward. That action got a reaction from Hector. As Gibbs got close Hector shoved Tony forcefully into Gibbs. Gibbs caught Tony and as they tumbled back, Hector made his escape.

Gibbs moved with the motion of Tony's body but sidestepped in time to allow Tony to fall towards the floor. Gibbs cushioned the descent so by the time Tony made it to the floor he was placed there gently. Gibbs ran to the front door and burst outside taking cover to the left. The man had run to the van but stopped and took a couple of shots at Gibbs.

Gibbs fired back and Hector ducked. He slipped into the driver's seat of the van and shoved the key into the ignition. Shattered glass rained towards him as Gibbs took out the passenger side window. As the van sped away, Gibbs pulled out his phone and called 9-1-1. He reported the van and the direction it had taken off. He had caught 4 numbers of the rear license and advised a BOLO alert be placed immediately. He could kick himself for not checking out the van before he went to Tony's door. He knew it was suspicious, especially since it did not have a front license plate.

He hurried back to Tony and kneeled down next to him on the floor. He grimaced as his knee popped and a familiar pain shot through his body.

Tony was wheezing and clutching his throat. He had his eyes closed but he sensed Gibbs was there with him. As he struggled to sit up, a strong arm cradled his back and helped lift him up into a sitting position.

When he was steady, the arm pulled away and Tony heard Gibbs walking towards the kitchen. He heard the water go on at the sink and he heard Gibbs open a drawer. Then the drawer was closed, the water was shut off and then the sound of a knee pop. He tried to open his eyes but a warm wet cloth was placed on his forehead as Gibbs gently tried to clean the blood from Tony's face. Tony had been startled at first but then leaned into Gibbs comforting hand.

"Boss? How the hell did you know I was here?"

"Saw the report about the gang shootout at Bethesda on ZNN. They said a cop had been shot in retaliation for the robbery the day before and was there at the hospital. Figured it was Joe and thought you didn't know. Went to check on him and your friend Mark Jensen told me you checked out AMA. You know DiNozzo; if you weren't currently bleeding and suffering from a possible double concussion, I would head slap you into next week!"

Tony merely sighed letting Gibbs take care of him.

The blood was still flowing from the cut over his eye and he felt dizzy.

"I think I need to take you back to Bethesda, Tony. This cut is bleeding pretty badly. I think you need some stitches."

Tony grabbed Gibbs by the wrist which pulled his hand with the towel away from Tony's face.

Tony looked at Gibbs with desperate eyes.

"No Boss, NO! No hospital! Can't you call Ducky and have him come over!?" Tony pleaded pulling Gibbs arm against his body. It never ceased to amaze him that Tony could face countless killers, sustain a calm bravado in a shootout, laugh during a beating but when it came down to a trip to the hospital he whined, begged and pleaded like a little kid not wanting to go to bed early.

It angered Gibbs but at times Tony's neediness was part of his charm.

It was Gibbs turn to sigh. He pulled out of Tony's grasp and took out his phone. He placed the call to Dr. Mallard.

As Gibbs hung up with Ducky, D.C. Metro arrived.

For the next few hours statements were given and evidence was obtained and catalogued. Since Gibbs knew that retaliation was directed at Tony only because of his connection to Spence, he deferred to Metro to handle the case.

He would personally take charge of keeping Tony safe.

Ducky arrived in the midst of all the chaos.

He entered the front door and looked around.

"Oh my!" he stated to no one in particular.

Removing his hat and trench coat he laid them on the piano bench.

Carrying his doctor's bag he went in search of Tony and Gibbs.

He found them sitting at the kitchen table. Ducky smirked to himself as he heard Gibbs gruff voice telling Tony to sit still. Ducky arrived just in time to see Tony squirming in a chair as Gibbs tried to hold two ice packs at different positions of Tony's skull.

Tony tried to snatch them out of Gibbs hands as he yelled "Just give them to me! I can handle it myself!"

"FINE, take them then you stubborn idiot!" Gibbs countered shoving the packs into Tony's hands.

Tony pouted and looked wounded by Gibbs words as he raised the packs to his head and closed his eyes in relief.

Their argumentative banter lessened the worry Ducky had on his drive over. Gibbs had only said Tony had been attacked and was bleeding and Ducky needed to come over as fast as he could and then he had hung up.

Ducky needed to remember to advise Gibbs he was getting a bit too old to handle the stress of calls like that.

Gibbs stood up from the table and greeted the older Doctor "Hey Duck, thanks for coming so fast."

Ducky simply nodded and moving over to take a look at Tony, said "So Anthony, my dear boy, what kind of high jinx have you gotten into now?"

Ducky had pulled up a chair to meet Tony at eye level. Gibbs sat down across from them, facing Ducky.

Tony put the ice packs on the table and turned to face Ducky. When Ducky got a good look he held back a gasp. Tony had the cut over his eye that was bleeding profusely. He had another large bruise on his forehead and the bruises around his neck were now joined by a few bloody strips of ripped flesh where his sweatshirt had rubbed it raw.

Ducky could not refrain from exclaiming "MY GOD, Anthony! You should be in hospital!"

"NO HOSPITAL DUCKY!" Tony's look was frantic and determined. He picked up the ice packs and placed them back on his head. He had his head down and was muttering to himself about not going to a hospital.

Ducky reached out and patted Tony's shoulder and said quietly "Alright my boy, alright. No hospital."

Ducky looked at Gibbs and said "I need a quiet room. Can you help me get him upstairs?"

"Sure Duck. Metro is almost done here."

Gibbs stood and moved in front of Tony.

He pulled the ice packs out of Tony's hands and grabbing both of Tony's arms he pulled him up and out of the chair.

"Hey!" Tony protested, _God he just wanted to lay down and sleep for a week._

"Shut it DiNozzo! You don't want to go to the hospital, fine, but you will obey every order we give you, you hear me?"

"Got it boss."

Gibbs could see anger in Tony's eyes-it was like it was seething right under the surface.

"_Tough!"_ Gibbs thought pulling Tony forward.

Tony let them lead him to the stairs and help him get up them. It was slow going. Ducky and Gibbs exchanged worried looks as Tony dragged one foot after the other up to the second floor.

When they were outside the master bedroom Tony tried to pull back and head down the hall. Gibbs was unaware of Tony's need to avoid this room, this bed. He knew Tony was suffering both physical and emotional trauma but he had had it with the whiney bullshit.

"On the bed, NOW!" he pulled Tony roughly away from the door frame but gently shoved him down into a sitting position on the king size bed.

Tony's demeanor changed instantly. Where he had only moments before been argumentative and angry he now just looked despondent. He hung his head and stared at his hands.

Gibbs was confused and wasn't sure how to handle this sudden change. He looked at Ducky who simply shrugged and said "Give us about thirty minutes, Jethro."

Gibbs looked at Tony and back at Ducky and said "Sure Duck. Just call me if you need some help."

Before he closed the door he turned back and said quietly "You'll be okay Tony. Just let Ducky help you. I'll be back in a little while."

Tony didn't respond to Gibbs. He didn't move.

He followed every order Ducky gave him as Ducky poked and prodded every inch of Tony's numb body.

He heard Ducky talking to him. His voice was full of care and comfort. Ducky explained everything he was doing or needed to do. He watched as Ducky threaded a needle and proceeded to stitch the cut above Tony's eye. Tony didn't move just stared at Ducky and watched him work. He could feel the needle as it cross stitched his flesh together. He usually had a fear of needles but for some reason it didn't cross his mind as Ducky completed his ministrations.

Tony accepted the two pills and glass of water Ducky gave him without protest. He popped the pills and swallowed them down. When Ducky asked him to lie down on the bed Tony rebelled. He refused and actually stood up and headed out of the room.

He had made it to the hallway when he simply passed out.

"JETHRO!" Ducky called to Gibbs from the top of the stairs.

Gibbs took the stairs two at a time. He was followed by two Metro officers.

Gibbs took in the scene and without words he motioned for the two officers to help him pick up Tony and carry him back to the bed.

As Ducky lent a hand, Gibbs said "Dammit Duck what the hell happened?"

"He was completely compliant until I asked him to lie down. In fact he was much too compliant, Jethro. He didn't speak at all and never flinched when I stitched the cut over his eye. He even took the pills I handed him without protest."

Gibbs knew that was not the actions of their Tony at all.

Making sure Tony was lying comfortably in his bed, Gibbs waved his hand towards the bedroom door and the four men made their way downstairs.

The Metro officers were posted on protection detail for the night. Gibbs had been making them a pot of coffee when they were distracted by Ducky's anguished call.

When the cops left to take up their positions outside, hot mugs of coffee in hand, Gibbs asked Ducky to sit at the kitchen table. He set a freshly steeped cup of Earl Grey in front of the Scotsman, much to Ducky's delight.

"Thank you, Jethro" Ducky said after taking a sip of the strong beverage.

Gibbs took a drink of his coffee and set the mug down on the table. He sat back and looking at Ducky he said exasperated "I don't know what to do with him Duck. He has been through so much shit the last couple of days."

Gibbs caught Ducky up on all the things that had happened to Tony that he didn't know.

Ducky sat across from Gibbs holding his tea cup in midair; mouth slightly agape at the unbelievable events that had happened. It would have looked amusing if not for the dire circumstances of the story.

"…and then tonight…. After pistol whipping Tony and slamming his head into the piano, the bastard nearly strangled him as he tried to kidnap him. He actually threatened to break every bone in his hands, sodomize him and put a bullet in his head!"

"Good lord Jethro! Do they know anything about this, this….beast that attacked Tony tonight?"

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee as he shook his head in the affirmative.

"Hector "The Reaper" Zegarra, leader of Los Muertos M.C. The brazen bastard was hell bent on killing Tony tonight in retaliation against Spence. Spence was killed by Zegarra's brother and the bastard wants to seek revenge against a dead man! He is the worst of the worst. At least we know who he is and Metro will get him."

"I shudder to think what would have happened to Anthony had you not gone to the hospital, Jethro. It is surprising Anthony has been able to function at all, really. He is going to need special handling."

Gibbs looked at Ducky wondering exactly what the good Doctor meant by that. Ducky's face held no tell, just pure concern for Tony's well-being.

Gibbs observed Ducky glance at the microwave's digital clock so he said "Do you want to stay the night Duck?"

Ducky shook his head and said "I must get back to Mother. I will see myself out Jethro and see you at work tomorrow. I will check on Anthony one more time before I leave. You must remember to wake him every two hours. If he does not respond I encourage you to immediately call an ambulance. Tony should be in a hospital. Our soft spot for that boy is not doing him any favors."

"He's not a boy Duck"

Ducky smiled "Perhaps not to you my dear boy…but to me, well, I could be his Grandfather you know!"

Gibbs smirked at that.

"Well go check on your boy then and get out of here Ducky."

Gibbs busied himself cleaning up the kitchen as Ducky went to check on Tony.

When Ducky returned to the kitchen he was smiling. Gibbs gave him an inquiring look.

"I am happy to report I was able to wake Anthony and get him back to sleep after he was able to answer a pertinent question."

"What was the answer?"

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs!"

"What was the question?"

"Who is your favorite bastard?"

"Nice Duck, goodnight."

**A/N-My longest chapter yet and no cliff hanger…not my usual style but it is getting late and it is time for bed. Thank you everyone who read and commented on the last chapter. I really loved writing Tony at the piano. I selected the music via you tube. I knew all the songs except Passion by Utada Hikaru. I suggest looking for it under "Utada Hikaru Passion (Kingdom Hearts) for piano". I played it continually as I wrote the last chapter-simply divine-this beautiful Japanese-American girl is so very talented and I am happy to have discovered her while writing chapter 16. If you check her out let me know what you think! Have a great weekend everyone! P.S.-thanks to all the followers, alerts etc...I really appreciate that you are interested in my first slash story. For those of you who think it isn't slashy enough…all I can say is I like a lot of foreplay…makes the pay off so much more spectacular!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Devotion Chapter Eighteen**

Gibbs walked Ducky out to his car carrying a pot of coffee.

He watched Ducky safely drive away, and then checked on the Metro officers guarding Tony for the night.

He refilled their empty mugs and making one final sweep of the perimeters he walked back into the bungalow. He locked the front door then checked the back door off the kitchen. He poured himself a mug of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.

He sat quietly, just listening.

Nothing broke the silence.

Satisfied, Gibbs indulged in a sip of the dark roast. He glanced at the microwave clock. It was after 2 am. He didn't want to disturb the Director at this hour so Gibbs placed a call to Morrow's office phone and left him a message letting him know he would be in to work in the late afternoon.

Kate and McGee were still working with Balboa's team so he didn't worry about contacting them.

Taking another sip of the cooling coffee he ran a hand over his tired face.

Now that he had time to think about all that had happened, he could feel the fear of what might have been crawl up and settle under his skin. He shuddered, what would have happened if Hector Zegarra had managed to render Tony unconscious and taken him in the van?

He wondered if they would have ever found Tony's body if the gang leader had been successful.

He would have lost both Spence and Tony. Losing Spence was so hard but if he lost Tony he didn't think he could go on. He would probably just quit NCIS and head to Mexico. Take shelter with Mike Franks and hope his old mentor could help him from drowning in bourbon.

He had to shed the morbid thoughts. He replaced the "what ifs" with the "what is".

He took comfort knowing Tony was upstairs and he would eventually be okay.

Gibbs looked at the time. He would need to wake Tony in about an hour. He was exhausted so he got up, poured the last of the coffee in his mug, and made his way back to the living room. He had no interest in the TV so he scanned the bookcase for something to read.

He and Spence shared a love of all things military and they both loved westerns. Gibbs laughed as he remembered Spence telling him how Tony had decided to put his own touch on shelving their books and movies. He found with every book Spence had on the shelf Tony had added the movie adaptation on DVD. He found his best friend and SFA had quite a collection.

Gibbs settled on "True Grit", the book, not the movie. He had seen the John Wayne movie with Spence years ago. He had never read the book so he took it off the shelf and carried it over to the couch. He set his coffee down and looked at the paperback novel. It felt weird in his hand, uneven and strangely bulky. He flipped through several pages and found two Polaroid photos tucked near the back, wrapped in what looked like a letter.

He set the letter aside and looked at the photos. The first one was of Spence, Gibbs and Shannon. She was standing behind the two men as the three of them leaned in towards the camera. They were all laughing.

_God, we look so young…and so happy! _

Gibbs was caught off guard but the memory of that day came back to him. Linda had taken the photo. It was on a rare occasion the four of them got together. Linda was so jealous and controlling she was hard to be around and was definitely a "buzz kill" as Abby would say.

He stared at Shannon's beautiful face. He felt his eyes begin to burn. It dawned on him that this photo was taken on the day Shannon had told him they were pregnant. He closed his eyes and fought the grief. Taking a deep breath he looked at the next photo.

Shannon, standing sideways holding her sundress close to her body, peered down at Gibbs as he kneeled in front of her. He was looking up into her eyes after he had just kissed her belly. She had not yet begun to show. The picture was fading and the colors were off but Gibbs relived that moment in full Technicolor in his mind.

He had been so happy that day. They were both "over the moon" to borrow the words his Dad said when they called him with the news. Shannon's parents were as excited and Spence and Linda had them over for dinner that night to celebrate their wonderful news. Spence was honored and overwhelmed with emotion when Gibbs asked them to be Godparents. He remembered he tried to overlook Linda's annoyed response to that request. Spence's enthusiasm made up for it.

Gibbs set the photo down and picked up the letter. It was not complete and parts of it had been crossed out and other words had been added. The paper was yellowed and had been written in pencil. It looked like a rough draft really but the message was one of solidarity, concern and friendship.

It was dated a month after Kelly and Shannon had been murdered.

Essentially it read:

_Gibbs,_

_I know you are going to find the bastard who did this to your beautiful Shannon and our darling Kelly. If I could be there with you I would help you hunt that motherfucker down. I would ask you to wait for me, let me cover your six. If you cannot wait for me, then I ask that you proceed carefully my dear friend. _

_You know Shannon would not want you to throw your life away for revenge._

_Semper Fi_

_Spence_

Gibbs read it three times before he lowered it and then turned it over.

He set the letter down amazed that of all the books he could have chosen he picked this one and it contained these treasures.

He looked at the back cover of the book reading the description of the novel. It was not lost on him that the book was about a girl who sought revenge for the death of her beloved Father. He had always identified with the John Wayne character, Rooster Cogburn. In reality he was like the girl, Mattie Ross. She had been hell bent on revenge, obtained it and had grown up to a life of solitude.

She had achieved her goal but had ended up alone.

Gibbs wondered why Spence placed these items in this book and why had he not sent Gibbs the letter. Since Gibbs did not believe in coincidences, he knew Spence had done it with purpose. He just wished he could ask him.

Spence had still been overseas at the time and was unable to attend the funeral. When they next saw each other Gibbs had confided in Spence that the killer had been taken out. Gibbs was a mess then.

He didn't lose a moments rest killing Pedro Hernandez but the grief of losing the girls took its toll.

Spence had been there for him. Helped keep him sane and encouraged Gibbs to join the NIS when Mike Franks recruited him.

He wondered if Spence had ever confided in Tony the details of Gibbs early life.

His guess was that Spence had not. Spence was more than a good friend, he was a brother and he could keep a secret.

Gibbs returned the photos back in the letter and folded it. He placed the repackaged letter back in the book and standing, went and picked up his jacket and slipped the book with its secret gift inside his breast pocket. He would make sure it was okay with Tony that he could keep it.

Gibbs heard movement upstairs. He reacted as if Tony was in danger. Pulling his Sig and checking the clip he made his way to the stairs.

He would do anything to keep Tony safe.

Gibbs was determined neither of them would end up alone.

**A/N-Hey y'all…sorry this is a short one. I have been real life's bitch of late and have only had a little time today to get out this chapter-will try to have more soon. Thanks to everyone who is reading, faving and reviewing. You guys give me the desire to continue. I do apologize not being able to respond individually….I am working on that too. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Devotion Chapter Nineteen**

Tony woke up not knowing where he was. He knew he was in a bed but was not sure whose.

The room was very dark; the only light shining was from the LED of the alarm clock. It was almost 3 but Tony didn't know if it was afternoon or early morning.

His head and throat were just killing him, both throbbed a steady beat of sheer pain.

_FUCK!_

He remembered he had been in the hospital but this was no hospital room.

He felt around as the fog began to clear from his mind.

Pillows and bedding were familiar.

His hand roamed up and along the head board.

Hand carved Ivy vines.

His hand froze as the realization hit him he was in his own bed.

Could the last few days have been a simple nightmare?

He brought his hand down to his chest. He lay there on his back for several minutes listening for the familiar sounds he usually heard at night lying next to him. The room was too quiet.

Tony rolled over to Spence's side of the bed. As he did he swept his arm up in an arch with the hope he would be bringing it down lightly onto Spence's side. When he had that connection he would pull Spence back, tight against his own body. He would hold him for dear life and thank the powers that be it was only a horrible dream.

When his hand landed on a cold empty space, the events of the past few days flooded his brain like a tsunami.

The adrenaline rush drove him up and out of the bed, pain be damned.

Unfortunately, due to his injuries, Tony lacked the coordination to execute a clean exit. His feet tangled with the bedding and he tripped, sending his body crashing down to the hardwood floor. His shoulder took the brunt of the fall sparing him the possibility of splitting open the stitches on his forehead. He lay there breathing heavily wondering what he should do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was the sound of Tony hitting the floor that drew Gibbs attention from below. He had pulled his gun ready to shoot any intruder that may have found their way past him and Metro.

Gibbs ran up the stairs as quietly as he could.

Standing to the left of the master bedroom door Gibbs could hear heavy breathing.

"Tony?" he called out, the concern evident in his voice.

He was rewarded with a muffled "Yeah, Boss?"

Gibbs felt relief sweep through him. He holstered his gun and stepped into the dark room. He felt for the light switch. Flipping it on he saw Tony off to the left of the bed, the bedding twisted around his legs.

"Jeez, Tony!" Gibbs said as he moved quickly to help Tony up.

"Are you alright?" he inquired as he pulled Tony from his sheet and blanket web.

"I've been better" He answered quietly as Gibbs helped him to the edge of the bed. Sitting down, Tony held his head in his hands and groaned.

"What can I do to help?" Gibbs asked

"You have your Sig?"

"Uh, yes"

"Then just shoot me please."

Gibbs smirked at that. A small part of Tony's humor was back. It was a good sign.

Gibbs knelt down to look at Tony and knew if Tony felt as bad as he looked, shooting him would have been merciful.

"Here" Gibbs said compassionately "Let me take a look at you."

Gibbs moved Tony's hand away from his head and cupping Tony's chin, he lifted his head to check for further damage.

Tony sat quietly just watching the concern and care Gibbs eyes held as he studied Tony's injuries.

Gibbs touch was gentle and caring and…

"_Loving?" _ Tony thought _"No, that can't be true. I must be imagining it." _

Tony could not believe he saw loving concern in Gibbs eyes.

He shut his eyes to that fantasy and allowed Gibbs to finish what he was doing. Tony tried to sit still but couldn't help himself as he leaned into Gibbs warm hand.

Tony missed the full smile that blossomed on Gibbs face when Tony responded to his touch.

"_Maybe, just maybe…..but not yet"_ Gibbs thought as he finished making sure stitches were still in place and there was no bleeding going on.

Satisfied Tony was still in one piece, he sat back on his haunches.

Tony held back a whimper when Gibbs removed his warm hand.

The painful pop of Gibbs knee drew Tony's eyelids to an open position.

"Ouch…you okay boss?" he asked, a pained look on his face.

"Yeah, I'm good." Gibbs smiled as he stood up. He sat next to Tony on the bed.

Tony did not miss that Gibbs chose to sit very close, their hands almost touching. Tony looked down at their hands and then up at Gibbs face. Meeting Gibbs eyes he felt mesmerized.

Gibbs had the most beautiful blue eyes. Right now they appeared like two pools of crystal lapis.

Tony broke eye contact looking to his right.

"_What the fuck!"_ he thought

It had happened so fast Gibbs wasn't sure what had just gone through Tony's mind. Gibbs had noticed Tony's moss green eyes glaze over and his pupils dilate before Tony turned away.

He could see Tony had tensed so he stood up and said:

"You need to get some rest Tony. Before you get back to sleep let me give you two pain pills Ducky left for you and he also said to put some antibiotic salve on those rips on your neck."

Tony had turned back to Gibbs and was fascinated to find Gibbs looking nervous. He had never seen that, ever. Because it was a new phenomenon, Tony figured it must also be his imagination.

He watched as Gibbs eyes darted around the room and then he had actually pantomimed applying the salve on his neck.

Gibbs could sense his own nervousness and fought to keep it under control. He knew this was not the time or place to let Tony know he had any interest in him other than friend helping friend. He steadied himself and walked over to the nightstand to pick up the salve. He thought about applying it to Tony's neck for him but he honestly thought it may be too erotic. He helped Tony get up and guided him towards the bathroom mirror so Tony could apply it himself.

Gibbs helped steady Tony as he stood at the mirror. When he felt Tony was sturdy on his own two feet He opened the tube of antibiotic gel and squirted a bit of the thick substance onto Tony's extended fingers. As Tony applied the ointment, Gibbs picked up the sheet and blanket off the floor and began to put the bed back together.

Tony couldn't stomach looking at his reflection. He looked like shit and he hurt even worse. As he applied the salve he watched Gibbs move around the room.

Tony was stymied. What the hell was happening? He had the strangest feeling of static sexual electricity bouncing around the room. He shook the feeling away. He must have taken more of a beating then he remembered.

He washed his hands and dried them. He felt his body sway a bit and before he began to fall to his right he noticed Gibbs in the mirror. He was running towards Tony and caught him just before his knees buckled.

"Okay DiNozzo…back to bed!" Gibbs said with authority.

"_DiNozzo?!…oh yeah, imagined it all!" _Tony thought as Gibbs helped him to the bed.

Tony sat down and accepted the pills and the glass of water Gibbs had mysteriously produced out of thin air. Tony almost laughed out loud thinking about Gibbs as a magician. If Gibbs had those kinds of skills, interrogation would be much more interesting.

Tony could feel himself getting loopy. It wasn't from the pills. He had bad reactions to pain pills but he had just taken two and they were not absorbed that fast. He was giddy with pain and exhaustion and every ounce of adrenaline had left his body.

"I'll be downstairs Tony if you need me. I will be back in two hours to wake you again." Gibbs stated as he pulled the covers back so Tony could lie down.

Tony just nodded his approval but before Gibbs could turn away Tony grabbed his wrist pulling him back.

"Boss…can you help me to the guest room?" he asked

Gibbs brows furrowed as he asked "Why?"

Tony looked slightly embarrassed as he said "Um, I don't want to sleep alone in this bed. I, uh, well Abby stayed with me the night Spence was killed and I had no problem being in here. I just….I just don't want to be alone in here…it's just too hard for me."

The light bulb went on over Gibbs head. He finally realized why Tony had tried to go down the hall when they brought him upstairs earlier that night. Gibbs felt remorse as he remembered forcing Tony into the room and yelling at him to get on the bed. He had not even thought about how sleeping alone might bother Tony. He should have known better. He slept on the couch after Shannon died. He didn't sleep in a bed again until he married Diane.

"Sure Tony. Let me help you up."

"K" Tony slurred as he got to his feet.

He gave Gibbs a mega-watt smile and took a step forward.

With the second step Tony passed out in Gibbs arms.

"Dammit, Tony!" Gibbs said struggling with Tony's dead weight.

He got Tony back on the bed and pulled the covers over him.

Gibbs looked around trying to decide what he should do.

He left Tony for a few minutes running downstairs to turn out most of the lights. He left one on near the couch so the Metro officers could have a clear view into the home from the side window. He grabbed "True Grit" from his jacket. Before he headed upstairs he removed the photos and letter placing them back in the jacket pocket.

He made his way back to Tony's room and set his phone's alarm for two hours. He turned off the overhead light after he had turned on the bedside lamp near the empty part of the bed.

Spence's side of the bed.

Gibbs hesitated when he thought of that.

He looked at Tony who was out cold and then he looked at the door.

Tony probably would not wake up in the next two hours but Gibbs didn't want Tony waking up alone.

He placed the book and his Sig on the side table and took off his shoes.

He looked at the headboard he had made for his two friends.

It mocked and shamed him.

He ignored the inanimate object, fluffed the pillows and sat back on the bed.

He would read for a while and then wake Tony when the alarm went off.

That was the plan.

Before Gibbs could reach for the book he was out like a light.

**A/N-Getting my mojo back readers! Hey, I know a lot of folks are reading and I am happy for that…thank you all very much. Comments are always welcome but never expected. I understand the desire to stay anonymous but I have a request. I have just really paid attention to the traffic graph associated to a writer's account that lets me know how many readers or visitors I have had and the countries from which they are connected to FF. It has completely blown my mind that I have readers in places as far away as Croatia, Kuwait, Estonia, Egypt and Romania to name just a few. **

**WOW! It gives me a better understanding of how truly powerful the internet is! Anyway…the request is that if you do not mind would you simply let me know where you are in the world after you read this either by PM of review. It would also be cool to know what town or area of your country you live. Just a little social experiment...your participation is more than appreciated!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Devotion Chapter Twenty**

Tony woke up needing to pee.

He lay in bed trying to gather the strength to get up.

He was on his back, his left arm thrown over his eyes shielding them from the light in the room.

His body ached all over, especially his head, his back and his throat.

He knew he would need to move soon, the call of nature was persistent.

Throwing back the covers he struggled to get up. He got both feet placed firmly on the floor as he cradled his aching head in both hands. Taking a deep breath, he stood.

Eyes tightly shut, he shuffled to the bathroom.

Bladder emptied, he yawned as he made his way to the sink.

He turned on the water and kept his hand under the cool liquid as he waited for it to heat.

He balanced the water faucets and when he had the perfect temperature, he washed his hands and splashed water onto his face. It was when he grabbed a towel and was beginning to dry off that he opened his eyes and looked in the mirror.

The bruises around his neck and the stitched forehead were still as gruesome as he remembered so he blinked and looked away. It was as he turned back to the bedroom he noticed Gibbs asleep on his bed.

_What the hell!? _

He placed the towel on the counter and walked quietly back and around the bed until he was looking down at Gibbs. Tony took in the full scene.

Gibbs was lying on top of the covers and was fully clothed except for his shoes. He was propped up on two pillows against the headboard almost in a sitting position. His legs were crossed at his ankles and he was leaning towards the nightstand, his right arm across his chest. It almost looked like he had been reaching for something when he just collapsed into sleep.

Tony looked at the nightstand and saw Gibbs' gun, phone and the book "True Grit". He remembered Spence had mentioned that book reminded him of Gibbs. Tony did not know why.

Gibbs looked peaceful and so much younger. He was so deeply asleep all the stress lines had relaxed on his face. Tony wanted nothing more than to let him slumber.

He picked up Gibbs phone and realized the alarm was set to go off in 5 minutes. He turned it off.

Looking back at his boss Tony thought about the conversation they had the night before. Tony remembered Gibbs was trying to assist him to the guest room but obviously they had not made it. He had confessed to Gibbs he did not want to sleep in the bed alone and count on Gibbs to make sure he didn't.

Tony knew he could always count on Gibbs.

The man had saved his life, twice, in the last 48 hours. Gibbs had lost Spence, too, but he had made Tony his first priority. Tony did not know if he could even come close to repaying Gibbs for everything he had ever done for him. He had given Tony a job, friendship, his NCIS family and he was directly responsible for giving him Spence. Gibbs was the reason Tony had found love and had two of the best years of his life.

He reached out to touch Gibbs, his love for the man warming his entire body. He pulled back his hand before making contact. Knowing his touch might cause the inner marine sniper to strike out, Tony moved back. He had already sustained enough injuries to last for at least another three months.

"_Better to let sleeping marines lie"_ he thought, smiling down at his friend.

As Tony reached to turn off the lamp, letting Gibbs sleep in the comfort of darkness, he thought back to one the most humiliating situations he had ever experienced. It was when he and Spence were just really getting to know each other. It was their fourth date…

_~Flashback~_

_It was a Saturday and Spence had asked Tony to go to a Washington National's game and then to dinner. Spence had picked Tony up from his apartment and drove the two of them to the game. They had a fantastic time…the National's won and the restaurant Spence took him to later was phenomenal. _

_Leave it to Spence to remember Tony mentioned on their second date he wanted to try the new French Bistro, "Savoir Faire", which had just opened at DuPont Circle. It was almost impossible to get a table there on a weeknight so you could forget it on the weekend. _

_But Spence got them in at 7pm on a busy Saturday night. Tony was very impressed although he was a bit concerned they were underdressed._

"_Damn, Spence….if I had known we'd be coming here I wouldn't have worn jeans!"_

_Spence had just furrowed his brows and shaking his head said "Don't sweat it Tony. We're here to eat and enjoy each other's company. Let the D.C. suits gawk, I couldn't give a crap."_

_Tony laughed at that. He loved that Spence was so unpretentious. Tony knew he really couldn't care less. Spence was comfortable in his own skin and comfortable to be with. He was gregarious and fun. He had a brilliant mind and his sense of humor was both charming and challenging. His wit kept Tony on his toes and his love and knowledge of movies were actually more extensive then Tony's. _

_Tony DiNozzo knew he had met his match._

"_Besides" Spence said "Those jeans are tight and they wear you very well. I am looking forward to seeing them discarded on my bedroom floor later tonight."_

_Tony had been sipping his water, looking around at the décor, as Spence had whispered that seductively. _

_Tony had to fight the spray of water that wanted to rush through his front teeth and up and out his nose. _

_He choked it down as Spence smiled innocently, casually picked up his menu and proceeded to peruse the extensive food selection._

_Tony's smile grew so wide his face almost hurt. _

_They had shared a chaste kiss on their first date. _

_The second date they had enjoyed making out like teenagers._

_On the third they incorporated the actions from the previous date and added some heavy petting._

_Tony was ready to see his jeans on Spence's bedroom floor._

_Spence had selected the escargot to start and they each had a chateaubriand with petite pomme frites._

_Spence agreed with the wine sommelier that the 2007 California Cabernet Sauvignon would be the perfect wine to go with their steak._

_Tony had made a joke about a California wine being found in an authentic French Bistro but had to join the Sommelier in raised eyebrows when Spence explained:_

"_It makes perfect sense they would carry wine from California, Tony. The event of the Great Wine Blight in France in the 1900's required grafting of vines from both European and American vineyards. California was thee place at the time to get those vines. Almost every bottle of wine from France now carries a little bit of the Golden State." _

_The sommelier seemed impressed as he poured them each a glass._

_Tony was really surprised at how truly sophisticated Spence was. _

_Tony smiled humbly and simply raised his glass in salute to the wonderful world of wine. _

"_Well then, cowabunga dude!" Tony said doing his best impersonation of Jeff Spicoli from"Fast Times at Ridgemont High"._

_The two men tapped their glasses together and Spence laughed loudly at Tony's impression._

_When they made it back to Spence's house Tony was buzzed. Spence had only had one glass of the delicious red wine leaving Tony to polish off the rest. _

_Not being the driver had its privileges._

_It was the first time Tony had been to Spence's home. He loved the small comfortable bungalow the minute Spence led him through the door._

_It reminded Tony of Gibbs place. _

_As Spence threw a couple of logs in the fireplace and got the fire started, Tony looked around. Spence had an impressive collection of books, music and movies. __A crystal vase with pink and white carnations sat off to the side and there was a photo of two women with a little boy. Tony squinted looking at the child, it must be Spence. There were several pictures of Spence and Gibbs on the top shelf of the bookcase. There were also photos of Spence with his two sons.  
_

_Tony turned as he heard Spence behind him.  
_

_Spence had gone off to the kitchen and had come back with a bottle of water for Tony. _

_Tony thanked him as he opened the bottle and took a swig of the cold beverage, and then he asked:_

"_How long have you known Gibbs?"_

_Spence sat down on the couch and taking a drink of his own water said:_

"_A long time, Tony, my whole adult life really. Many people have come and gone over the years but Gibbs has been the one constant. He is simply the best friend I have ever had." _

_Tony nodded in agreement and moved over to the couch to sit next to Spence when he heard Spence pat the leather material in invitation. Spence turned off the lamp next to the couch leaving them bathed only in firelight._

_Tony was a bit startled that he was actually nervous. _

_Tony could never be considered virginal but Spence was a force unto himself. _

_Just like Gibbs. _

"_Strong, capable, self-assured, commanding and totally hot!" he thought _

_Spence was only an inch taller than Tony but the man's presence made Tony feel small. Not inferior or less than, just that he would defer to Spence like he would to Gibbs. It might be their age difference. Tony figured both Spence and Gibbs had at least fifteen years on him._

_Both men made him feel very safe. He knew that stemmed from his childhood and his inability to trust or count on his Father to protect him. Tony was not trying to find a father figure but he found it hard to trust many men. _

"_Great" Tony thought "I guess I'm the chick in all this."_

_Spence laughed and said "Oh no Tony, you are all man."_

_As Tony wondered if all marines were mind readers or if he had actually spoken his thought out loud, Spence reached over and took the bottle of water from Tony's hand and placed it next to his on the coffee table. He then placed his hand gently behind Tony's neck and squeezed. Tony turned towards Spence as Spence leaned in to kiss him._

_Tony responded immediately allowing Spence to take control. When Spence felt Tony submit to him he ran with it. Spence's tongue demanded entrance as he kissed Tony forcefully. Tony complied gladly as his lips parted allowing Spence access. Spence tasted like wine and Tony drank him in._

_Spence explored Tony's mouth as he moved his body, pushing Tony down underneath him on the couch. Spence was careful not to crush Tony beneath him. He was pleased as Tony moaned into his mouth as he lowered himself onto Tony, taking a dominate position. _

_Tony threw his arms around Spence and pulled him close. Exchanging hungry kisses like two men starving for each other. When they came up for air, Spence sat back on the couch and pulled Tony up and onto his lap. _

"_Straddle me" he demanded and Tony quickly complied._

_As Spence leaned back, Tony placed his hand on either side of Spence's head on the couch and leaned in taking Spence's lips like a prize. He did not miss the look of surprise on Spence's face as Tony took control. _

_Spence seemed happy to let Tony take it._

_Tony kissed and licked and nipped at Spence's throat. His hands roamed over Spence's hard body working up and under Spence's shirt. Spence moaned when Tony's warm hand passed over his muscular stomach making its way up to pinch each nipple. Tony took his time and he paid close attention to what actions turned Spence on._

_Tony could feel the older man's erection growing beneath him as his own cock strained against the confines of the denim. Spence pulled Tony close and with his lips close to Tony's ear he whispered "I want you Tony .I have wanted you since the moment we met. I want to taste you and then I want to fuck you. May I have you?"_

_The hot breath against his neck and the desire to be taken overwhelmed him._

_He bucked against Spence and leaning down he whispered back, almost breathless:_

"_God Yes" _

_Spence flipped Tony to the side as he moved to sit in front of him on the coffee table. Spence placed his hands on Tony's knees and spread his legs, slightly. He ran his hands up Tony's thighs stopping just shy of his groin. He ran his hands back down and then placing his fingers under the outside of Tony's knees he pulled Tony forward. As Tony's body slid down the couch he couldn't help but lick his lips. The anticipation of what was about to happen made him shiver. _

_Tony groaned as Spence slowly unbuttoned his jeans and unzipped his fly. In the firelight, Spence's blue eyes were now glowing black with lust. Tony was almost panting as Spence slowly pealed the jeans from his body._

_Spence gasped when he found Tony was going commando but then smiled wickedly as he pulled the denim down and Tony's hard cock sprung up at attention._

_Spence gazed from Tony's hard cock up into Tony's eyes._

"_Beautiful…."Spence whispered appreciatively_

_Spence ran his palm up and down the hard shaft as it jerked up towards Tony's stomach. Spence leaned in and inhaled the musky scent of Tony's arousal. It was simply intoxicating. _

_Tony lay back into the soft leather his eyelids partially closed. He watched as Spence brought his cock forward to eager lips. Spence's hand was warm and when his tongue fluttered along the head and then slowly licked around the circumference Tony almost shot his load right then and there._

_His response was a guttural moan of ecstasy as he moved a hand to the top of Spence's head. Tony ran his fingers through Spence's hair and his palm gently caressed Spence's face. Spence leaned into Tony's touch as he took all of Tony deep into his throat._

_Spence worked Tony into a sexual frenzy._

"_Oh God…Spence…I am not going to last if you keep doing THAT!" Tony yelled._

_His words only seemed to encourage Spence to continue. Tony closed his eyes and smiled. Spence was proving to be a master in the art of the fellatio._

_Tony gave himself over to the pure pleasure of it all._

_The warmth of the fire, the smell of leather, the feel of the room…his mind carried him away to fantasies past. _

_The stimulation was too much. He felt the familiar tingle at the base of his balls and then the forward rush as his orgasm exploded into the hot mouth sucking him to completion. _

"_JETHRO!" _

_Tony screamed as he rode out the waves of pleasure cascading throughout his body._

_It took him a minute to realize all stimuli near his crotch had ceased. _

_In fact, he felt cold and wet and exposed. _

_Tony felt hands on his knees so he opened his eyes._

_Spence looked debauched as he stared into Tony's eyes. He cocked his head and said:_

"_Jethro?"_

_Tony's brows furrowed as he looked at Spence not understanding what he meant. _

_When Tony realized what he had done he felt a volcanic rush of blood flush his cheeks._

_He brought both hands up to his face to hide the shame and embarrassment. He wished he could just disappear. He could not believe he had just called out another's name after receiving the best head he had ever had._

_He stammered "Oh God, Spence, I am so sorry. I…I….oh Jesus…."_

_Tony stopped when he felt Spence take him by the wrists and pulled his hands away from his eyes._

_Tony looked up sheepishly. He expected to see fury in Spence's eyes and hear Spence demand that Tony_

"_Get the fuck out" and that he never wanted to see Tony again._

_But Spence just smiled. His eyes contained a look of amusement and understanding, not the contempt Tony had expected._

_Spence must have sensed Tony's devastation because he said "Relax Tony. I know you have a thing for Gibbs."_

_Tony just stared at Spence for a minute and finally finding his voice said "Uh, I um am not sure what…."_

"_Oh please! I saw the looks you gave him the night we were introduced. You have it bad but he is not interested. He is your boss."_

_Tony sighed. Spence was right. He waited for Spence to tell him to leave so it came as a surprise when he heard Spence say:_

"_Lucky for me."_

_Tony stared at Spence in confusion and disbelief._

_Spence stood and held out his hand. When Tony grasped it Spence hauled him up. As Tony pulled up his pants, Spence leaned in to kiss Tony and said "I'd still like to see those jeans on my bedroom floor. Are you still game?"_

"_Yes" was all Tony could say._

"_Fantastic!" Spence said enthusiastically as he held Tony by the hand and headed towards the stairs._

"_Before the sun rises I will make sure you never scream Jethro's name again." _

_~End Flashback~_

Spence had been right. He had replaced Jethro in Tony's affection that night, but looking down at Jethro now, as he slept, Tony knew he still had it bad.

**A/N-Thank you everybody who shared a comment or PM letting me know where you are in this world. It was very interesting and for the guests I couldn't respond to individually…THANK YOU! **


	21. Author's Note

**Author's Note for Devotion**

**I have not been able to sit and write at length this weekend like I wanted to but will try my best to have a few chapters soon. In the meantime, I have come across a movie that so encompasses what I have tried to express in this story. It is called "Bridegroom" and for those of you that have access to Oprah Winfrey's OWN network you can see this unbelievable documentary there or you tube.**

**_"BRIDEGROOM tells the emotional journey of Shane and Tom, two young men in a loving and committed relationship - a relationship that was cut tragically short by a misstep off the side of a roof. The story of what happened after this accidental death - of how people without the legal protections of marriage can find themselves completely shut out and ostracized - is poignant, enraging and opens a window onto the issue of marriage equality like no speech or lecture ever will. On May 7, 2012, the anniversary of Tom's death, after a year of documenting his own grief, Shane decided to make a video tribute to his partner entitled "It Could Happen To You." This film, posted on YouTube, received over 3.2 million hits and inspired over 50 thousand e-mails and comments on YouTube and Facebook. The impact of Shane's original film and the raw nerve it touched, tells us this is an important story that needs to be brought to the world stage." From IMBd_**

**Ciao for now...love and happiness to all!**

**And thanks for reading….**


	22. Chapter 22

**Devotion Chapter Twenty One**

Tony closed the bedroom door with care. He would let Gibbs sleep as long as he could.

He made his way down the stairs as dawn's light began to fill the house. Every step was agony.

He looked around the room taking in the mess Metro had made while investigating the break in. They had torn up his house more than Hector Zegarra. Tony felt a chill run the length of his body. He knew it was due to the fact he had escaped a certain death at the hands of that loco gang leader and not that it was a very cold morning.

Tony turned on the fireplace and made his way to the kitchen. He started the coffee pot and sat carefully down at the kitchen table. He tried to remember what he had planned for the day. He held his head in one hand as he leaned against the table. He realized Steve was coming sometime that day. He needed to make sure he had his cell phone handy.

He listened to the drip, drip of the coffee pot as the rich aroma of it filled the room.

Tony vaguely remembered hearing Metro say they would post a protection detail for the night. Not knowing if officers were outside, Tony realized he felt naked without a weapon.

Since his Sig had been stolen he got up and headed into Spence's office. Spence had a gun safe with a variety of weapons he had collected over the years. When Tony opened the safe he just stood back and looked at them. Like most ex-military turned law enforcement, Spence was a gun enthusiast and a collector. Every gun in here had a story and Tony had heard every one.

He selected the nickel plated Smith & Wesson SW1911 hand gun and made sure it was loaded. Spence had carried this as his sidearm in Desert Storm. Tony knew this gun had saved Spence's life on two occasions when he was trapped behind enemy lines in Kuwait.

Tony set the gun down on the desk, closed the safe and spun the safe's dial. He had been groggy when he first woke up but he was wide awake now. He realized he could smell the cheap cologne Hector Zegarra left behind on his ripped sweatshirt. The scent, a cross between amber and patchouli, made him sick to his stomach.

He pulled the ripped Ohio State sweatshirt over his head and threw the remains of it into the waste bin next to the desk. He liked the scent of amber but now thought whenever he smelled it he would always think about "Reaper".

Tony could only guess how the bastard got that name.

"_And that fricking scar…"_ he thought heading over to the office closet.

This closet was only used by Spence, so when Tony opened it, the strong musky scent that was all Spence hit him like a bolt of lightning.

Tony stood for a moment and just inhaled the musty air. Wanting to keep the scent alive in the closet for as long as he could, he grabbed Spence's cardigan and quickly closed the door.

The sweater was actually too big for Tony but it didn't matter, Tony knew Spence loved the sweater. It smelled like him and Tony was happy to wrap it around himself.

It was Spence's "Starsky and Hutch" sweater. That had been Spence's favorite show in the 70's. Spence told Tony he had coveted the "Dave Starsky" sweater and when he found it, he threatened Linda to buy the red 1975 Ford Torino to go with it. Tony had laughed at the story telling Spence he would love to have Thomas Magnum's cool mustache and the red Ferrari 308 GTS.

Spence cringed at the idea of Tony having that mustache but he agreed the Ferrari would be cool.

When they were first dating, Spence and Tony had spent many weekends having marathons of Magnum P.I. and Starsky & Hutch. Each of them learned to love the others favorite show.

Tony wanted to do something really great for Spence for their second anniversary. He had begun an internet search trying to find the red Ford Torino Spence had so desperately wanted. Tony had been sad when Spence admitted he had actually found the car and when he wanted to buy it, Linda had a fit so he relented and let it go.

When he was finally free of her, he had looked again but never found another one.

Tony had started his search in earnest just a few weeks ago. He actually had a great lead to one out in California but it didn't matter now. A 1975 red Ford Torino was just another thing Spence would never have.

Tony picked up the gun from the desk as he walked back to the kitchen.

He poured himself a cup of coffee adding his hazelnut creamer along with a couple of spoons of sugar.

Coffee in hand, phone in one sweater pocket and the gun in the other he stepped out onto the back porch and sat down on the steps facing the vegetable garden. He sipped at his coffee letting the liquid warm him from within.

Tony took in every inch of the back yard. He had so many memories he wanted to sort and store away in his mind. He had a very strong feeling he and this house would soon be parting company.

He set the coffee cup down and crossing his arms, he placed them on his knees and lowering his head to rest on his arms, he wept.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs stirred as the smell of coffee wafted in the air.

The seductive aroma teased his senses as he opened his eyes.

He knew he was alone in the room as he got up and stretched. His back cracked and his neck popped as he tried to get comfortable after sleeping fully clothed in an awkward position. His go bag was in the car so he would need that before taking a shower. He picked up his phone and noted the time. It was almost an hour past his alarm setting. Tony had let him sleep. He appreciated the thought. It also made him happy to know that Tony was up and moving, the worry of his concussion lessening.

Gibbs used the bathroom and splashed water on his face.

He put his shoes on and made his way downstairs.

The house was very quiet. Tony was not in the living room and he was not in the office.

"Tony?" Gibbs called for him but there was no response.

He helped himself to a cup of coffee and as he glanced out the window over the sink he noticed Tony sitting on the stairs. Gibbs grabbed his jacket and pulled it on. He topped off his coffee mug and went to the back door.

He opened it softly and heard the sound of Tony's grief.

Gibbs considered closing the door and allowing Tony the time alone but Gibbs gut flared warning him not to ignore the moment.

The moment was one of grief, shared between two people who loved the same person with all their heart.

Gibbs joined Tony on the stairs. He sat next to him and placed his arm over Tony's shaking shoulders.

Tony did not look up. He simply allowed himself to be hugged into Gibbs body as he heard Gibbs say:

"He loved you so much Tony, never doubt that. Whatever happens from this day forward know I am here for you. I promised Spence I would watch out for you. He would expect nothing less from me. I loved him and, God…." Gibbs hesitated, trying not to break down.

He pulled it together as best he could as he whispered "I will miss him so very much."

Tony felt Gibbs press his lips tenderly against his temple and pull him closer.

Gibbs verbal declaration and the physical intimacy he shared with Tony healed something deep within.

Tony knew he could make it. It would not be an easy road but he was not alone in the journey.

**A/N-Short but hopefully sweet. Eye of the hurricane perhaps? I hope to have another chapter shortly. Thanks for hanging in there with me everybody! **


	23. Chapter 23

**Devotion Chapter Twenty Two**

Their shared moment of grief was broken when Tony's phone rang.

He debated answering it, feeling protected and comforted, tucked into Gibbs side.

As Gibbs moved to give Tony room to answer, Tony raised his head looking Gibbs in the eyes.

Gibbs was stoic but Tony could see the unshed tears in those blue eyes.

He smiled at Gibbs as he wiped at his own eyes, any thought of embarrassment was long gone.

They had shared a moment and Tony would be forever grateful for it.

Gibbs never ceased to amaze him.

As he pulled his phone out of the sweater pocket, but before he raised it to his ear, he softly stated:

"Thank you, Jethro."

Gibbs simply nodded as he stood. He gave Tony's shoulder a comforting squeeze, picked up his coffee mug and headed inside for a refill.

As he entered the house he could hear Tony saying:

"Hey Steve…..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After completing his call, Tony entered the house finding the kitchen empty. He could see Gibbs had refilled his mug as it sat alone, simply steaming on the kitchen counter. Gibbs had also started a new pot.

Tony was about to call out to him when Gibbs entered through the front door with his go bag.

"I took out a couple of mugs of coffee to the Metro officers." Gibbs stated as he dropped his bag on a kitchen chair and picking up his mug took a large swig of the steaming beverage.

"I wondered if they were out there...couldn't remember if I heard right last night." Tony replied as he lowered himself into a chair. He hissed at the pain it caused just to sit down.

As Tony reached to take a sip of his coffee he noticed Gibbs was just staring at him. The look in Gibbs eyes were one of concern and sympathy and something else Tony wasn't sure he could identify.

He suddenly felt nervous.

He looked away and asked "What?"

Gibbs remained quiet until Tony looked back at him.

"Are you alright Tony?" Gibbs asked tenderly.

Gibbs noted Tony's discomfort so he added gruffly "And don't you dare say "fine", DiNozzo!"

That made Tony relax and smile as he replied "Sore Boss, I am very sore….but I will be fine. Thanks for asking and thanks for saving my ass last night…..and making sure I wasn't alone."

Before Gibbs could respond to his sincere appreciation, Tony changed the subject.

"Were you planning on going to work this morning? I hoped you could stay and let me cook you some breakfast. My friend Steve should be here in less than an hour. Would love for you to meet him. He just flew in on the red eye from Ohio."

"Steve Adler? Your frat brother?" Gibbs asked taking a sip of coffee.

"Yep….and lawyer."

Gibbs wanted to ask Tony more about Steve flying all that way to represent him, but since Tony didn't volunteer additional information, Gibbs figured it was none of his business.

"I left a message for the Director I would be coming in later so breakfast would be great. What do you have in mind?" Gibbs asked

"I figured I'd get some vegetables from the garden and whip up a Spencer-DiNozzo specialty…veggie frittata with bacon and cheese."

"Hell, yeah!" Gibbs replied enthusiastically and with perfect timing his stomach growled loudly.

Tony and Gibbs both looked surprised at the sound but then simultaneously laughed.

"Well, I better get started on that breakfast….should be done in about 40 minutes boss...wanna take a shower while I get it ready?" Tony asked as he struggled up out of the chair.

Gibbs stood quickly to help him but Tony just waved him away.

Gibbs grabbed his bag and headed upstairs as Tony grabbed a basket and headed outside.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Before Gibbs started his morning routine he looked out the bedroom window making sure Tony was doing okay in the back yard. He watched Tony moving carefully picking various items for their breakfast.

Gibbs knew his SFA was hurting but he knew Tony would ultimately be okay. Gibbs just had to make sure Hector Zegarra didn't get another chance at him. As long as he could keep Tony in sight and be on his six, Gibbs was certain he could keep Tony safe.

He knew DiNozzo was a capable Agent but Gibbs could not help being protective. He also knew deep down he had to fight the creeping feelings of possessiveness that wanted to rear its ugly head.

Satisfied Tony was okay, he started the shower.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spence had been one hell of a cook.

Tony's thoughts were filled with the wonderful meals Spence had made for him, had taught him to make. Tony was not a novice in the kitchen. He had schooled Spence in the ways to make the perfect marinara that any Italian grandmother would be proud of.

Tony smiled as he picked a tomato and brought it to his nose.

"_There is nothing like a tomato out of your own garden, Tone. Smell it! You don't get that from a grocery store!"_

Tony placed the tomato in the basket along with the green onions, cilantro and zucchini he had picked and headed back to the house.

He rinsed the vegetables and set them aside to dry. He pulled out the items he needed from the fridge and selected the pan he would use. He set the oven temperature and while it was heating up, he chopped up vegetables, beat eggs, shredded cheese and crumbled bacon.

He did this all in silence. If Spence were with him they would either have the TV on or music. Spence loved to dance around when he cooked. Tony stopped for a moment and closed his eyes remembering the last time they had cooked together. It had only been a few days ago but to Tony it seemed like a lifetime.

"_Let me introduce you to some real southern cookin', Yankee!" Spence had said with an exaggerated drawl._

_Tony laughed and said in his best New York accent: _

"_Who in da' hell ya callin' a Yankee! I'm from Lon-ga eye-land, not Maine, ya jerk!"_

"_You were born north of the Mason-Dixon Line so watch and learn!"_

_Tony crossed his arms and tried to act pissed but Spence had put on some country music and was two stepping around the kitchen which only made Tony laugh. _

_Spence was dancing as he prepared some fried green tomatoes._

_They had watched the movie of the same name the night before and when Tony said he had never eaten a fried green tomato Spence was appalled._

"_You have got to be kidding me!"_

"_Not kidding Spence…didn't even think you could eat a green tomato!"_

"_Good God Man! We must remedy this gastronomical injustice!"_

Tony had to admit the fried green tomatoes were pretty damn good.

He felt his face get hot as he remembered the incredible sex they had later that night.

Tony had not wanted to see a "chick flick" but had deferred to Spence when he insisted Tony watch "Fried Green Tomatoes" with him. He had complained that if there was nothing being blown up or no Chuck Norris type fight scenes he wasn't interested. He had been surprised at how much he liked the movie.

One line stood out at the moment:

Jessica Tandy as, Idgie Threadgoode, had said

"_**A heart can be broken, but it will keep beating just the same."**_

Tony sighed. He could not argue with that.

Tony placed the pan in the oven and set the timer. He could still hear the shower running upstairs

He busied himself cleaning up the areas of the house where metro had lifted fingerprints. They had used a variety of aluminum dust and powder in various tints. Tony had to apply some extra elbow grease to remove all the white powder that was on the piano.

The drops of his blood on the ivory keys were going to be harder to remove.

The doorbell rang as Tony heard the shower shut off.

He chuckled to himself as he looked out the front door peep hole seeing Steve being manhandled by Metro.

He opened the door as Steve yelled "You have no right to search me!"

"He's my lawyer, fellas" Tony said as the cops released Steve with an apology.

Tony noticed the officers were two of Spence's friends-Chip Carter and James Benton.

Steve's face changed from indignant, to smiling, to a look of horror as he took in Tony's appearance.

Before Steve could comment, Tony invited Chip and James to join them for breakfast.

They agreed to come in when Tony let them know he was ready to serve.

As Tony pulled Steve inside and closed the door he said "thanks for coming, Bro."

Steve just stared at Tony, a look of disbelief on his face. He took in the stitched forehead and the bruised neck and shaking his head finally spoke:

"What in the hell happened to you Tony!?"

"A bit of a scrape is all…..you should see the other guy." Tony joked

"That would be other GUYS, DiNozzo." Gibbs said as he joined them.

"Long story…" Tony sighed then said "Steve…meet my boss, Leroy Jethro…"

"Gibbs!" Steve completed the introductions shaking Gibbs hand vigorously.

"It is nice to finally meet you Gibbs. Tony has told me so much about you. Between Tony and Spence I feel like I know you really well!"

Gibbs was pleased to meet Steve but felt a bit of jealousy that Steve had seemed to spend a lot of time with Spence. He was also hurt he was just meeting someone that was obviously very important to Tony for the first time. He had only himself to blame. He again wondered if he had not turned Tony's advances down how life would be for them.

As Gibbs and Steve spoke, Tony appraised his boss.

Gibbs was wearing jeans that fit his body like a glove.

His hair appeared dark grey as it was still damp.

His light blue polo shirt made his eyes pop in a sparkling brilliance that Tony could get lost in.

If Tony was asked to describe Gibbs with one word he would have to say _"Delicious"._

Tony shook his head trying to clear those thoughts from his mind.

"_What in the hell, DiNozzo!"_ he admonished himself thinking of Spence.

He felt guilt begin to dig under his skin even thinking about another when the love of his life had just been taken from him.

Suddenly, he had a vision of Spence in his mind. Spence was standing in his garden surrounded by beautiful flowers. He looked young and healthy and he just radiated… love. It was love that Tony felt run through him. That and a warmth that actually made him shudder.

Spence smiled and gave Tony a thumbs up.

Tony smiled at that as the vision and the guilt faded from his mind.

It was never a secret, Spence knew how Tony felt about Gibbs. Spence had fought and won Tony-heart, body and soul.

Tony absolutely loved Spence and he felt secure knowing he had given his all to the man.

Watching Gibbs now, Tony came to the realization he would not feel bad for loving Gibbs.

He knew nothing would ever come of it but he would not deny it to himself.

He had been blessed to have two glorious years with a person who loved and treasured him and made him very happy.

He knew it was more than most people ever had in a lifetime.

**A/N-Sorry to stop here but I have friends coming in for dinner tonight that I haven't seen in over 10 years. Will try to have another chapter no later than Monday. Have a great weekend everyone…and a wonderful Veteran's day to all who have and are serving this Country. Thanks again to all of you for reading and commenting.**


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